getting into med school is a biznitch... i read one thing and i think i actually have a shot... i read another thing and i feel as if i should start looking for a new career... so many times i think about whether i should've done things differently... but i definitely believe in fate and that if i wasn't intended to be a doctor God would've have stopped me long ago or at least sent me a sign... anywho, i've never been one to take rejection lightly and being the spoiled child that i am... i'm usually pretty persistant about getting the things that i want... this time though... i know all my whining and complaining won't do any good unless i get up and start working my ass off not that i haven't been already... my wife and kids can tell you that i've been pretty busy working on mcats and classes... *sigh* next week when the midterms have died down i'm going to pay another visit to my pre-med advisor and see what he has to say about my options...

"there are always back doors into med school"... hey, as long as i can get in, right?

the scratchy throat, the phelm, the cough... all signs that i may be coming down with a cold... worst time to get one... starting up the second wave of midterms this week... the AIM fast is going pretty well... i honestly don't have the urge to chat it up... the results may have been different if i decided to give it up for lent a couple of years back... should i sleep or finish studying? choices, choices, choices... as yes... the call of med school out shines my desire to rest... for all you non pre-med people be thankful for your sanity... special thanks to the family who alway manage to melt my stress away... =)

week 7

today is the official start of week 7.. can't believe this year is flying by so fast... it's only more of the same for me though... studying for mcats and midterms... i have 2 next week on the same day... i really don't know when i'll find the time to finish the newsletter either... however, it's one of the things in my life that i don't feel good until it's done... an issue of pride mostly.

the more and more i research med schools the more and more i find that perhaps the UC system isn't for me... their focus is on research where as my focus lies in clinical studies...but really beggers can't be choosers and right now i'm a begger... in the end it all boils down to cost... go to a UC med school which is very affordable or attend a private school which will end up costing me and my parents on the order of $100,000... ahhh yes... "it takes money to make money..." so very true philip.

xin nian kuai le

yesterday me and the family went to Jasmine to celebrate chinese new year along with (it seemed like) every other chinese family in san diego along with their white friends... =P me and kids managed to spot people we knew in the crowded restaurant during the lion dancers... one of the people working with the lion dancers looked really familiar and i thought he looked just like one of my favorite kids from CTY but only taller... as the lion dancers were making their way out of jasmine it turned out to be Alex! =) he's gotten so tall... it's funny just because you assume kids will stay the same size you late saw them... really nice to see that he's doing well... i was worried for a bit he had turned into some wannabe azn thug since his AIM profile is always claiming "AzN pRyDe!!!!" but luckily he's turned out alright... ended up getting a table with mayrin's mom and her thai girl friends... it was an overwhelming experience to eat with all these thai women... they had the table literally overflowing with food... everything was brought onto the table in pairs, like a noah's ark of dim sum! very nice though to spend time with family since i so rarely get the time to relax... this weekend has been all about relaxing... today i had a family party to celebrate my cousin's 17th b-day and later tonight i celebrated with my high school friend's 22nd b-day... *yawn* it's only 10 but i'm feeling so tired... maybe having that Corona wasn't such a good idea... i'm such a light weight most alcohol puts me right to sleep... aiya... still need to finish up an mcat chapter before i go to sleep... =/

while watching the opening ceremony of the olympics last friday they came to a point where they had native americans as part of the ceremony... they had 5 of the tribes native to utah perform... it was special in the fact that this was the first time ever these tribes have ever come together to perform and also it was symbolic of the nations of the world coming together for the olympics... what bugged me the most about the whole thing was the fact that it seemed like inviting them to perform was almost like commidifying them... to me, it seemed like an empty gesture... "we raped your women, took your land, and tried to get rid of your people by introducing disease... but please won't you perform your nifty native dances for us?" honestly what have we done to help these people? nothing really...in america we take special measures to ensure that racism, in theory, is non-exsistant and that our schools are an accurate representation of the population... although these native americans want to remain autonomous it's funny to see the US doing so little about the fact that so many native americans lack higher education... this is coming from a nation that prides itself on its foreign aid policies and yet can't seem to help it's own citizens... it's really quite sad the fact that the people who inhabited what is known as america have been reduced to casinos and tourists attractions... i was going through my medical college guide and while looking through the minority numbers i saw that it wasn't uncommon to see zeros for both native americans and blacks enrolled.. quite sad indeed...

feeling a bit detached from the rest of the world since i logged off AIM, but at the same time i feel quite at peace with myself... today i went home and instead of looking through everyone's away msgs i managed to finish up all my homework... actually as much as i miss the contact provided by AIM i've managed to rethink my plans for the future... hahahaha... kinda funny since it's really only been a day since i've logged off...

ash wednesday

traditionally for lent you give up something you enjoy for 40 days. this year i was going to do something really easy like candy or maybe video games, but i considered the fact that so many people in the world lack what i've been given and that it would be selfish of me to give up something i could easily forget... instead, thanks in great part to darrell's decision, i will be giving up AIM. honestly one of the toughest things i've given up for lent in a while. back in high school i was addicted to chatting and i remember after dinners the first thing i would do was log on and stay up talking to friends and strangers on IRC, AIM, and ICQ. although now AIM has become more of a study distraction for me it's still a central facet of my digitized life. looks like i'll be studying more at home since i won't be tempted to check who's on-line or read everyone's witty away msgs...

ever since i took my mol bio midterm i've been feeling really tired and uninspired to do any academic work... in one of physcology classes we learned that after performing any type of work there is usually a down time when the person wants to rest and not to anything... there is also a proportional relationship to the amount of work and amount of rest... looks like i did a shit load of work because i really don't feel studying at all... can't wait for the 3 day weekend though... get to sleep in, catch up with homework, play, and possibly go to disneyland... =)

just finished my mol bio midterm around noon time which now seems like it happened days ago... while i was at the bio department i decided to do some research on being a TA and realized that i had all the qualifications so i submitted an application... i'll find out around 8th week if i'll be a TA for one of the lower division bio classes... should be an interesting quarter if i make it as a TA... johns hopkins e-mailed me the other day and offered me a position as the health assistant for the summer... =) actually quite happy that i got the position... now i don't need to look for an internship for the summer... kinda scared though since this job i think requires a bit more responsibility on my behalf and i'll be on-call 24 hours a day in case of emergencies... either way it'll look great on my resume and show that i have clinic experience for med school... really sad that the ol' doheny crew won't be back... =( going to miss big fat american, ted-san, samsung, neena, alison, craig, mars, katrina, sirinya, the rest of the young student staff... i wonder what it's going to be like as an adminstrator this summer? won't be totally alone though a few notables will be returning with me which i know includes my fellow disneyland crewmember ian!... looks like it's turning out to be a pretty good week... can't wait for the weekend! anyone down for disneyland?

i know i always say i'm poor and that i don't have money... then i came to the realization that my outstanding debts are sucking me dry... it's crazy that i have credit card debt and i don't even work anymore... that's what happens when you lose the fear of charging things... when i first got my credit card i was afraid to use it becuase of the high interest rate... but afterwards it just became all too easy... aiyo... my resolution for the year is to wipe out all my credit card bills... problem is, when do i have the time to work? =/... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah =( okie time for me to file my taxes...

today we had a substitute teacher for out ochem section... hardly old enough to be a teacher though since he is only about as old as i am... but apparently he knows what he's talking about... he disclosed to us that he scored an awesome 42T on his mcat... the verbal, physical sciences, and biology sections of the test are 15 points each which means he scored perfect on two sections... the T is his essay score which is scored i believe on a scale of L to T with T being the highest... i didn't know if i should be enamoured with the guy for if i should hate him for being so smart... in addition to his high mcat score he also managed to pull a 4.0 from UCBerkeley... talk about over acheiver... he's now a first year at UCSD med which happens to be one of my top choices for med school... after class i was just compelled to work my ass of to get all my ish done... that includes the 4.0 for this quarter, possible internships for the summer, and of course a 36 on the mcat... competition is a great motivater. =)

thanks to physiology i can now explain to you how pain works... i actually learned there were 2 types of pain recepters... number 1 issues an almost immediate signal of pain to your brain.. ie. when you first stub your toe... number 2 sends lower intensity pain signals to your brain after the fact... ie. the throbbing pain you feel minutes after you stub your toe... or in my case, the thobbing pain is caused after you burn yourself with hot oil... .i was cooking dinner when i guess some condensation from my pan lid went into the hot oil causing it to splatter... actually got burned in two places on my arm... =/... i need some aloe vera now...

i told my parents today that i was going to stay another year... the response in general was good... further enforcing the fact that my parents trust my own judgement... however, i'm feeling a bit guilty now because my dad quit school in search of a job to pay for med school thinking i was going to go to med school this fall.. =/ i thought my parents knew that if anything i was staying one more quarter... *sigh* i feel horrible... guess it shows you can never not communicate enough with the parental units... if i wasn't feeling the pressure to get accepted into a UC med school before, now it's officially here... time to hit up my mcat books once again tonight...

i should be taking my practice mcat, but i woke up late.. =/ check out apparently this is who i would be if i were a final fantasy character.... i'm smart and hot! =P




Take the Final Fantasy X personality test here! by

enough of the melodramatics...

"It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own makings simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial "you" is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities ... You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved, or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems. "

decided it was time for a change... nothing big just something to change my scenery around... i rearranged my computer desk once again... this will make it the 3rd time since i've moved in... can't seem to maximize the amount of desk space so i can't study and work on my computer... seems like such a waste since the desk is so big... my alterior motive for rearranging my desk was to clean it up and to hopefully find 2 things i've discovered have gone missing... number one is my book to US med schools... it was my bible and now i can't seem to find it... =/ also medical school related, i can't seem to find my mcat practice test... this one is important because it is the actual mcat that was adminstered in 1993... otherwise i'm going to have to shell out somemore money to replace those things... sorry to keep updating this blog about the inane details of my life, but really like is all about the details, isn't it? i'd like to think so...

i feel as if i'm on the edge of a great big cliff and i'm unsure of whether or not i should take the plunge... everyone else seems ready... they all are jumping off with their arms spread open... but for some reason something is holding me back... maybe i need that reassurance it's okie to step back and not jump... or maybe i just need someone to push me off... either way i'm stuck on the edge of this cliff...=/... confused? talk to me and i'll enlighten you...

it's back

every couple of weeks i begin to question how the decisions i'm making now will effect my future... happens about every 3 weeks... the desire to stay a fifth year has come back...so many benefits and yet i still feel like there is more to be desired... most likely due to the fact this wasn't my original "perfect" plan... anywho, really need to talk it over with friends and family though... this time i'm either going to act on it or leave it be...

decided to see what the colorgenics site had to say this time around... this thing is creepy...


You have exaggerated demands on life but you are cautious enough to try to hide these beliefs from the outside world. You are covert enough to try to impress other people around you with your achievements and at the same time able to put on an act of pretending to be "humble"- being the same as everyone else.. It would appear however that whatever you are doing.. seems to be working out O.K.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception .. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that "the wrong word" can lead you to tears . You feel other peoples pain.You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation..... butyou are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision...

You are trying to prove yourself .. not only to yourself.. but also to everyone around you...There is much that you would like to say and do .. but the situation warrants self-restraint .. and that is the last thing that you have on your mind..It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it. But you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions ... You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes and respect your opinions. Only when this compliance is established, will you feel at ease and secure.

It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own makings simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial "you" is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities ... You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved, or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.

i finished off the newsletter... now that leaves but 2 midterms and job interview... not too worried about the job interview because right now my summer could go so many ways... there's the possibility of staying in san diego with david and taking the EMT class with him... there are also two internships i'm applying to and of course there is always the possibility of traveling... so my options are pretty open... aiyo.. i keep putting off seeing my biology advisor... okie okie i promise i'll make an appointment to see her...after my meeting with my marshall advisor and pre-med advisor last quarter i haven't been too keen to seeing anymore advisors... a guy can only hear too much bad news... =/ i do believe this is about the least amount of studying i've done before going into a midterm... actually let me reword that... this is the least amount of studying i've ever done the night before a midterm... you can credit that to all the reading i've been doing to keep up with my classes... professors always say you should keep up with the readings... seriously it helps more than you'll ever know! look at me, now i have time to waste blogging about the insignificant details of my inane life.. =)

the turtles finally got a bit of sun today when we put to use the reptile light Cat bought for the turtles... last night david thought it would be a good idea to shine the light on the turtle at 2 in the morning the time when they should be sleeping to see if it would make them more active... unfortunately, david is the slumlord of turtleville and he has yet to buy them a proper lamp for the bulb... instead the turtles just bask in the glow of their turtle light in a regular table lamp that is put on its side.... david isn't quite ready for kids quite yet... i feel like a mother demanding the deadbeat dad pay child support... "david, those turtles need a heat lamp... david, they need the light to be in a proper lamp!... these turtle are like babies you can't just half-ass it david ...the big one's shell isn't healing.. i think the little one is about to die..." anywho, hopefully if i've gotten anything through to david he'll shell out the $10 to buy the turtles the lamp they need... otherwise i'm going to have my lawyer increase his alimony payments...

week 4

brand new week... 2 midterms, a job interview, and a newsletter all slated to be done by wednesday... right now of all things my biggest concern is getting a haircut...

i went home with the full intention of getting a good night's rest... but call it my competitive drive... or maybe it's stupidity, but as i was walking out of clics i spotted someone i knew from my mcat prep class... and he was doing the homework that was assigned today... that bastard! he's trying to beat me on the mcat! argh... so anyways... here i am studying someone when i should be sleeping... honestly, though if i could forego sleep for this quarter i would because it really is an unneccesary break... i could be almost 50% more effecient in my study habits if i could use that time to study some more... so yeah,i'm sure you've all realized that i've managed to turn myself in jesse spano... luckily i'm smart enough to know that caffeine pills are bad for me...

taking that practice mcat wasn't too bad... i think maybe it was the fact i didn't get to take a nap afterwards that was making me cranky... an 8 hour test will usually do that to you... it was a taste of bitter irony when i got home how the most busy person in the apartment ended up washing the big pile of dishes in the sink and then ended up cleaning the kitchen afterwards... and perhaps to add insult to injury i find that my roomie wasn't even out of his pajamas... =/... as much as i love my roomie it's really hard not being able to share the same kind of stress...as much as i talk about how stressed or busy i am... i really don't think you can understand until you've actually taken my classes or study like i do...

anywho, i took steph ng's little fruit test and it turns out i'm a banana...

mmmm... i want some chinese food...

clics isn't neccessarily evil... just the computers... i hate not being able to find a desk because then i'm forced to work on a computer station... that basically means i end up typing away on my blog (as i'm doing now), IM people, and just find means to distract myself from school work... okie okie okie... i'll get back to work...

frustrated, tired, pissed, and motivated all at the same time... just finished my practice mcat... nothing much to say... it's one long ass test...

off to study... or kill myself.. whichever comes first...

i just loaded up my palm pilot and i'm getting ready to hit the hay... tomorrow looks to be a killer... if eating and sleeping didn't get in the way i'd probably be able to get everything done... anywho, despite how busy i am i decided to skip CLICs for the night and instead kicked it with roomie steph one last time before she flies off to the other side of the world... i'm going to miss you lots!

right now my stress is just about to reach critical mass... on top of school drama, med school ish, money issues... i am now dealing with some very sensitive roomie drama... growing up i was always taught to accept unpleasantness and just roll with the punchs... normally these type of problems i contain within the walls of my apt and to the ears of my closest friends, but now the strain is building and i'm about ready to start throwing punches... which begs the question of what's right and what's polite... anywho, when i can find the time i'm just going to have to face the music and finally say everything that's been bottled up... should've have dealt with this a lot sooner...

anywho, the agenda for tomorrow is simple... try to finish all my mcat homework so i can study for midterms... i have two this wednesday... luckily though i've been keeping up with the readings and so it shouldn't be too much to study for the tests... yes, my nerdy ways are finally paying off! =) i can't really complain about my situation schoolwork wise because i know that some people would sell their arms just to have the possibility of applying to med school... for this i'm extremely grateful to my mommy and daddy for paying for my classes, rent, and everything else that makes such a spoiled boy... =) don't worry though, my parents will soon be repaid in full and then some when i'm a doctor... honestly, i dream about the day when i'll be able to go down to the benz dealership and buy my parents the SLK they've been eyeing... i really can't wait... =)

times like this i wonder if all my efforts will really pay off in the end... just about pushed myself as far as i can go and now my brain is beginning to shut down... i usually don't do all nighters until finals week rolls around and tonight is no exception... despite my efforts my body wants/needs to sleep... i really still more homework to finish even though i'm caught up with pretty mush all my classes... this will only make me stronger right? the structure is deinitely good for me... i really wish i could go fast forward in time to see where i'll end up... okie, my thoughts are going crazy... i need to sleep...

blog before bed

today was just about the best day i could've asked for... a break i've sorely needed... i spent the day at disneyland with friends, spent time with the family, and even finished my homework! so nice and refreshing to spend with family again tonight... baby's whining, pointless arguements, the silliness of the kids, and the fact me and my wifey know how to get our study on... =) and of course you can't forgot the fact that disneyland just melted the stress and ulcer away... on top of that i was able to get homework done! very satisfied with the day... managed to relax, have fun, and get some work done...

i finally was able to see my doctor today, but not after having experienced a horrible night of pain and suffering... could not get to sleep even if you had placed me into a cloud attended by singing cherubs... it was that bad... but now the worse seems to be over and i thank my mommy for getting making my doctor's appointment for me... anywho, despite feeling like poop i managed to drag myself outta bed to, of all things, to clean the kitchen and wash the dishes... you know how when your mom/dad is sick but they still have to get up to do their ish that's what i felt like... i'm a navy brat so i should be used to a little hard work... time to hit the books again if i want to play tomorrow at disneyland...

yes folks it's official... reggie has been studying so hard he gave himself an ulcer... i'm actually kinda relieved because i thought that maybe i had given myself food poisoning from the pad thai i had made... anywho, the diagnosis isn't official but i'm pretty sure it's an ulcer... i have to go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure... hopefully she'll give me something that'll make the pain go away because i can't take aspirin, it'll just make it worse... waaaaaahhh... if you've never had an ulcer before... trust me it hurts... the pain comes and goes but when it strikes you it feels like someone is stabbing you in the stomach... basically my stomach has a hole in it... great... hopefully some relaxation will help ease my stress... i'm going to go crawl into the fetal position now... it huuuuuuuurts.... feels like burning...

running at full steam you can't expect to last forever... today i finally crashed....not so much crashed and burned, but just crashed... i think the non-stop studying has finally caught up with me and throughout the day my body was begging for me to give it a nap... after lunch i complied and yup i ended up sleeping not for 30 minutes, but for 2 hours... my not seem like much but realize i can't get 2 classes of homework outta the way with that much time... i'm really looking forward to tonight... i really want to get a full 8 hours of rest...

overture

so this is how it's going to be for the next quarter? basically my schedule is more packed than it is during finals week... its class, then studying, then class, the studying, and if i'm lucky i get to see some friends... my time is up and i'm off to my mcat class which i truly enjoy and then it's off to CLICS to finish off some homework...

prelude

school is now officially here with the start of week 2 and my MCAT prep course... looks like the little tid bits of free time i had will be spent trying to study and sleep. after class tonight i went straight to CLICS to write up flash cards and to read for the week. getting home around 1 i just had that wonderful feeling of accomplishment that comes from a good hard day of studying... actually something i've been missing for awhile now... i really think i strive off structure and being busy... i'm starting to feel good again about med school... enough about school...

yes, i'm a disneyland addict and i just can't get away from it... after my prep course orientation on saturday i realized among other things that this would be my last free saturday for a while... it was such a beautiful day too! it was just beckoning me to go outside and play one last time... as soon as i got back home me and my roomie were literally on our way to the happiest place on earth. we decided to spend the day at California Adventure to see what it's like...definitely a fun place to be! the grizzly river run was one of my favorite rides... maybe because it managed to soak david more than me... =P... the new park definitely has a different vibe than disneyland... even more so at the section of the park that's modeled after the santa monica pier... i dunno, but something about the way it's designed makes it seem cheap... it just doesn't feel like disney to see carnival games or carnival type rides... when i think of disney i think of innovative rides that you can't find anywhere else.. (ie. indiana jones, the haunted mansion, space mountain.. ) i dunno if that's what they wanted to do or if disney was just being cheap... anywho at first i wasn't really expecting all too much, but everything we experienced pretty much passed my expectations. granted i wouldn't pay full price to visit it is still a fun place to hang out and play. we even got to watch the electical parade which is still fun to watch after all these years. after the parade we headed over to disneyland and played there for the rest of the night which was capped off with fireworks and one final ride on indiana jones... i find it funny how disney never likes to use the word roller coaster to describe any of their thrill rides... the always term it "roller coaster-type" in order to ease their guests i suppose... in all it was just so nice to spend time with my roomie chillin and playing =)

week 1

week one of school has passed and it's definitely been pretty easy. much easier than i had anticipated... but then again i haven't started my other two clasess... schoolwise i'm on top of things and i've read ahead in all my classes... yes, i'm a big nerd =P strange though, the material i'm learning now seems a lot easier compared to the stuff i was learning (trying to learn) the past two quarters... it must be due to the fact i'm no longer taking any sort of chem/ochem/biochem.. i'm finally taking classes i actually enjoy...

i went home today and as usual i was updated on the drama that had transcribed since my last visit. well, a little background info... over winter break my lola was admitted into the hospital because she was having a hard time breathing and they found that fluid was collecting in her lungs... not so good... luckily my lola is a tough woman and she was able to leave a couple of days after new years... anywho, usually when she's back at her home she's taking care of my lolo who has been confined to a wheelchair ever since his heartattack two years ago... well, apparently my family on my dad's side decided it would be best to put my lola into a nursing home because the stress of trying to care for my lolo 24/7 was making her sick constantly (it's been the 3rd time she's been admitted into the hospital)... now, the logics of my family's decision really don't sit well with me... if anything my lolo who is a in wheelchair is the one who is in need of the nursing home... doesn't really make any sense... in general though, the thought of even placing any of my relatives into a nursing home is a foreign concept to me... luckily the nursing home isn't permanant and that as soon as she's better she'll be going to to live with my uncle... as for my lolo my dad's family has been taking shifts taking care of him. but it looks like my grandparents are being separated for the time being since taking care of my sick lolo is making my lola sick... didja get all that?

so check this out my philip li hong kong superstar collection has grown with a new addition... i now have a mold of his teeth! even got it signed =) hahahahaha... i'm planning on letting the teeth mature in value before i do anything with them, like auction them off at Sotherby's...

i finished my homework early and so i decided to play around...

i decided to run an experiment to see if some crazy and weird AIM screennames have been taken... the following names have already been claimed

nastyhoe
smelly
bigbutt
bunghole
pubic
skank
poop
turd
numberone & number1
fatbastard
skanky
fart
imabighoe
tastypoop
yourmomma
ipoopedmypants
mysisterishot
hairyback
hairynipples
goldenshowers
furlover
fudgepacker
ihavenofingers (which makes me wonder how he/she types...)
smallpenis
loveyoulongtime

the screenname armandoabanilla however was free so i decided to snatch it up... might come in handy one day... no real conclusions to draw from my experiment, just something for your enjoyment

"get ready for the most fun-filled 12 weeks of your life. well, not really, but we'll try to make it as interesting as possible!" taken directly from my mcat prep course confirmation letter...

actually, i'm kinda looking forward to the coming weeks... in a sick nerdy kind of way... i was inspired after watching a special on PBS covering the lives of recent high school graduates... they all had such high hopes and aspirations... "people think i'm smart and they expect me to be the best..." my sentiments exactly =)

mochicamry: i could take the hip-hop class on saturday after emt stuff but that would be pushing it
MouseNg22: are we forgetting something?
MouseNg22: like time for sleep?
mochicamry: i feel like jesse spano
mochicamry: never enough time!
MouseNg22: hahahhaah
MouseNg22: there's never enuff time!! wahhh hahahah
mochicamry: i'll never get into med school! i'm sooo excited!
MouseNg22: what!?
MouseNg22: you can go to medical college:-)
mochicamry: yeah in the bahamas
mochicamry: waaaaaaahhhhhh
MouseNg22: oh stop
MouseNg22: you're gonna be just fine
mochicamry: just promise me when i'm stuck in the middle of america you'll come to visit or at least send me care packages with asian food
MouseNg22: i PROMISE
MouseNg22: ill even send mochi in a dry ice package
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

shellshocking22: isn't your schedule like super packed?
mochicamry: yeah.. shit i feel like jesse spano
mochicamry: if i start teking caffeine pills you may punch me
shellshocking22: hahaha
shellshocking22: sure
shellshocking22: where?
shellshocking22: below the waste?
shellshocking22: oops
mochicamry: ouch
shellshocking22: waist
mochicamry: preferably somewhere where it'll knock some sense into me
shellshocking22: your head?
shellshocking22: your computer?
mochicamry: don't hurt my computer!
mochicamry: take me instead!
mochicamry: hahahaha

many more levels of profound thought to blog but i'm pooped and getting sick....

i'm scared...

*cough* *sniff*... looks like i'm getting sick.. can't figure if i caught it from phil or mayrin since both are sick too... even more so than me...

new year's resolution: decrease my spending... waaahhh! =( and i wanted to go shopping for new clothes too...

okie, okie... yeah i know yesterday i said i was looking forward to school... it was a partial truth... now i'm scared... doesn't look to be like a fun quarter... anywho, went home to get some money from my mommy for books... everyone knows i'm a spoiled child, but whenever i ask for money i always feel this pain of guilt knowing that my parents work so hard for their money and i just go up and take it... yes i know my parents aren't complaining and considering the money is going toward books it's a valid reason to ask for it... right now i feel like a cheesy after school special... "i just have to make all this money my parents spending worth it!" i really feel helpless right now since now i really don't have any time to work.. i need a rich girlfriend or at least find a wallet stuffed with cash, whichever comes sooner... =P

back in the groove

spent some quality time with the kids today which is something i'm trying to relish as long as i can... school is fast approaching and i can't wait for it to start... need to see my roomies once again =) here's an excerpt from my other blog...

"the past few days at home i've been absorbing as much cable tv as possible since all we have now only have the basic channels in the apt. during one of my late night posts in front of the television i managed to watch TLC for about 5 hours... i was watched Life in the ER and a couple episodes of maternity ward. during that time i came to the very scary realization that i'm very ill equipped to deal with death on the job. although i know death will be an integral part of practicing medicine i really only looked at the aspect of saving lives and healing the sick... it only sends my mind drifting to thoughts that this soon will be a common sight in my line of work. dealing with pain, suffering, and death will definitely be something i'll need to deal with... i've read and heard it's really tough to separate the two worlds; your work and home... yeah, i can see it's going to be tough... "

wifey on the news

on a news report about ppl going to tahoe for new years...

reporter : "how do you plan to spend your new years?"
stephanie: "with lots of alcohol..."

geez steph, i didn't realize you loved alcohol so much... hahahaha... why is it you never drink with the family, huh? anywho, Happy New Years everybody and be sure to live it up stephanie style "with lots of alcohol" or not... peace on earth and good will toward men...

Happy New Year's Eve

originally the plan for new years was going up to irvine to celebrate with hai, but apparently her roommates had a different plan in mind. instead of staying in irvine they've decided to head down in my direction to party in the gaslamp quarter in downtown san diego. guess it works out for the best considering that sonnier told me tonight he didn't think he would be able to make it up with me. in addition to all my cousins were giving me a hard time for apparently trying to ditch them again at another family function. like mayrin allows says "everything happens for a reason"... the fates must be telling me that this new years i should spend it with family.

just finished watching Harry Potter and now i'm really interested in reading the books... if the movie is similar to book, as i've heard from the critics, i can see why the books are so popular amongst kids. hopefully i'll get to finish it before school starts up again. unlike my dear friend angeline to who managed to get hooked on the series right in the middle of finals week. =P hahaha...

last night i went clubbing at E Street Alley with my good friends Hazel, Sonnier, Hai, and Wendy... it's been the first time i've been clubbing since turning 21 in october. the atmoshpere and club in general was better than i was expecting considering the clubs i've been to in san diego were all pretty ghetto and booty... so it was ncie to be in a club was as actually a club versus to some of the holes-in-the-walls i've been to. one thing i noticed immediately while dancing is that it sucks being a guy in a club without anyone to dance with... further emphasizes the fact that i really don't have the balls to go up to girls and just ask them to dance. case in point, my friend hazel and wendy seemed to be attracting these fobby guys throughout the night. there was one in particular that seemed to not get the hint they weren't interested in dancing with him. at first he was standing off to the side just scanning the floor to see if there were any single girls dancing and then spotting hazel and wendy dancing together he decided to make his move. which is one thing i really don't get... do girls really like it when a stranger comes up behind them and starts freaking them? because apparently a lot of guys assume so. so yeah, this fobby girl in a red silk shirt decides to start dancing behind wendy. my friend hazel starts laughing out loud and pulls wendy away from this guy and they try dancing a little farther away from the guy. this obviously means my friend hazel wanted to dance with him so he decided to start freaking her as well... being the polite girl she is hazel decided to make a run for the bathroom... anywho, if i were that guy i think that would be my clue to leave them alone... however, that guy just would not leave them alone throughout the night... about every 30 minutes he would find our group and try to dance with one of the single girls... i have to give that guy some credit for being persistant... but yeah, definitely the clubbing scene isn't for me unless i have someone to dance with... just made me realize i have this insane fear of rejection...hmmmm... maybe i should look into an arranged marriage =)

just finished rendering my trip to disneyland from the summer... the editting to film ratio is crazy... i worked for about 4 hours to to produce less than 10 minutes of footage... it was worth it though, now that it's digital it will never fade in quality... *yawn*... should i go clubbing tonight still or what? i'm in need of a power nap...

where's school?

sitting at my desk i've come to realize i really want school to be here already... granted having this break is great, but without a job or anything else constructive to do for the time being i'm stuck being a bum at home. i have finally gotten around to being the filipino spielburg with my video camera and i have a couple of projects i'm working... so much for shooting my mah jong movie over winter break... argh... anywho, calling all screenwriters, actors, and actresses! i'm currently looking for people to help me put together a short, around 10 min, film about mah jong... i'm looking for it to be pretty funny so if any of you have ideas pls feel free to submit them... i was thinking of maybe doing a spoof on the E! True Hollywood Stories and do one on my mah jong crew, the Triple K... still need script ideas though... hopefully i can get this project done before i graduate...

morning everybody! actually it's noon time and i'm finally up... who's in the mood for dim sum? mmmmmmm... well, heading back home home to finish up some errands and get the rest of my clothes...

well, i finally finished a couple of things i've been meaning to do over break... i finally finished editting my CTY videos from the summer... i just installed the new windows xp and so now it's a lot easier to work with the editting software... the computer doesn't crash every 15 minutes like it used to. watching the video brought back such wonderful memories of the summer... i was motivated enough to fill out the returner application for this summer although it's unlikely i'll have to time to come back. it's really about time i leave the never never land of CTY. really hard to explain what goes on during the summer... something you just have to experience because it honestly goes beyond just being a camp counselor...

while i was christmas shopping i ran into one of my good friends from high school... turns out he's transferring over to a school in kansas to play football... perhaps the funniest part about running into him was seeing where he works. where do you think you'd find a guy with a scholarship to play football work? at sport chalet, GNC, or maybe 24 hour fitness? he actually works in sephora... yeah that's right... the perfume, colonge, and make-up store... nevertheless, he is still the tall and dorky guy i remember from high school... best of luck to you Andrew!

anywho, trying to live it up for the rest of vacation... needless to say this coming year is really going to test me... the cable guy finally cut the cable while i was out... i already miss not having the extended cable, but considering i'll hardly be home to watch it next quarter i could really care less about it... besides i can always go over to either of my family's homes to watch some tv if i desired... *yawn* i shouldn't have taken that nap...i'm finally getting sleepy at 3 in the morning... need to work on this sleep cycle thing... going clubbing tomorrow which should be lots of fun! woo hoo! =)

back at home

back in the apartment to finally sleep in my own bed. when i moved out of the house my little brother moved into my room thus leaving me with no bed when i come home to spend the night...but it's all good... it's nice to fall asleep in front of the tv... a leisurely activity i don't get to do during the quarter all too often...christmas night i stayed up late in front of the the big screen tv and just watched tv till the early morning hours... even got to watch some episodes of i love lucy which i haven't watched since the summer... tonight i'll be sleeping my own bed... decided to come back to the apartment to finish some stuff with the computer and get a little bit of mcat stuff outta the way... unfortunately, i left my mcat books and tooth brush at home... =/ had to brush my teeth with my finger and ended up just playing around in the apartment... despite the relaxing atmosphere of being by myself in the apartment, it's soooooo lonely without anyone to talk to... come home now roomies! i miss you!!!! luckily for me though i'll always have phil and mayrin around to keep me company. in fact, when i was about to call it a night, phil called and stopped by the apartment on his way back from his family trip to las vegas...

while i was thinking about how shitty this coming quarter is going to be i decided to start documenting my madness as a pre-med student... i've started a new blog totally devoted to my academic struggles, accomplishments and the craziness which will consume my life... check out my 5 year plan..

anywho, tomorrow going off to julian to play in the snow, eat apple pies, and just relax with friends... =)

Merry Christmas

christmas is upon us now and after weeks of anticipation it's finally arrived! my family traditionally celebrates on christmas eve with a big family party and midnight mass and afterwards opening the gifts! this year was a little different in lots of respects. probably the most notable it that we don't have a christmas tree... when we first moved to the united states my mom and dad invested in a fake plastic tree. being young and naive i thought our tree was awesome; it was tall, majestic, and beautiful. i remember getting very excited and giddy when my dad would take the box down from the attic and we'd all hep decorate the tree. we'd take out all my mom's favorite ornaments like the bushels of fake apples and the ornate glass balls with glitter and the old clay ornaments me and my little brother made in elementary school. but as the years went on though the tree seemed to be growing smaller and not as pleasing as a real tree. by 9th grade i told my parents that our old ratty christmas tree needed to be donated to the smithsonian because it was so old and antiquated. well two years ago my dad donated our old very fake looking christmas tree to his fraternity where it enjoys it's new life as the lodge's christmas tree. so why not just buy a new christmas tree? well, the main reason we no longer have a christmas tree is because we honestly don't have anymore room for it... my house is literally filled with people and furniture which really no more room for anything new... yeah, it's sad not having a christmas tree to put all the presents under, but nevertheless christmas is always great with family!

morning sunshines! actually it's already 5pm but i just woke up from a very great nap... i usually dream the most vivid during naps and this session was no exception...

i was living in an apartment in la mesa with a couple of strangers when we can to the realization that someone was out to kill us... our room (mine and david's) in the la mesa apart was different yet familiar... you know what i mean... but the one thing that stood out from it was the fact the my swords were hanging just they are in my room... anywho, the reason we when someone was out to kill us was because someone had actually moved my swords in an attempt to steal on of them... like in the game Perfect Dark i waiting in the room for the killer to strike. i had one sword in each hand and stood with the perfect kata stance.... a man walks in and i pound him with my sword until it cracks over his head... then i realize it was someone else, not the killer... perhaps this means i shouldn't run to conclusions so easily...

dream number two takes place in a restaurant with a bunch of friends... the most striking part of this dream was that my friend Sonnier was wearing a cowboy hat, a white shoulder length wig, and had only one purple contact in his eye he looked exactly like a member of the korean group H.O.T. which is a group i know sonnier doesn't like very much... the cowboy hat part is probably due to the fact the last time i was talking to him he was telling me how his hip-hop dance group wants everyone to dress up cowboy and that cowboy hats are hella expensive... anywho, enough dream analysis off to finish christmas shopping i think i have the perfect gift in mind for my roomie...

right now i'm just taking a lunch break before i go out for another shopping excursion... one more person left on my list =) i went out to all the little stores in clairemont in hopes of finding the perfect gift but to no avail... i'm actually pretty proud of the fact that i didn't buy anything for myself while christmas shopping... i was so tempted to get a new camera and mini disc player... luckily all the clerks were busy because if someone was there to help me i'm sure that i'd be enjoying my brand new sony minidisc player...

day two on my own and the apt is so lonely knowing that no one will be coming home tonight... but i still don't want to go back home... i'd rather postpone the drama with my family as soon as possible... although ever since i've moved out my parents have gotten a lot more bearable... anywho, cooking for myself has reaffirmed my belief that eating is definitely a social activity... cooking for one is also not as fun as cooking for my friends and roomies... you'd think with me being on vacation i'd have plenty of time to get everything i want done... where does all the time go? granted sleeping in till 2pm doesn't help my situation out... haven't been able to study for the mcats like i wanted to or visit the gym everyday like i said... guess i'm stuck with my belly... =P with everybody gone i've decided to move the tv into my room which means now the only rooms i walk into are the kitchen and boy's room... it's elevated my plane of laziness.. i can now play on the computer, eat, and watch tv all in the same room now! woo hoo... i'm trying to enjoy this as much as possible considering the next quarter is going to be tough... even more tough than i had originally antcipated.. for once in my life i'm seriously scared shitless about school this coming quarter... i don't want to hear about anyone's "crappy" schedule because i doubt they can compare to school 7 days a week... well, off to enjoy my vacation to the fullest... Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Lucky Christmas

when i come home to visit i can expect that somethings have changed or that my family has added something or bought something new, but this week i was totally surprised to find a brand new addition to the family... no, i don't have a brand new little brother or sister... but a brand new pet... well, not pet technically... actually i dunno how you'd describe it but we now have a resident bunny living on our lawn. my family named the bunny Lucky because the little guy was lucky enough to live after a very brutal attack. although we don't really know what happened, we're assuming a dog attacked him, the right side of Lucky's head is totally scarred and in fact was biten straight to the skull. he's actually missing a big chunk of muscle starting from his eye down close to his nose. at first i thought it was so sad to look at the little guy with half his face nearly destroyed... in fact, when i little brother went to pet him for the first time he jumped back because from his left side he looks totally normal... he's like the phantom of the opera with his face horribly misfigured that when revealed scares you at first, but afterwards you look past it... he seems quite content hopping on our lawn and munching on my mom's miniture roses. there's something inherently beautiful in this little black bunny... from one side you'd never be able to tell that he was attacked and from another you can see his scarred body and yet he lives his life to the fullest enjoying everything that life has to offer him... a lesson we should all take note of.

new year's cheers and jeers

the apartment is lonesome and quiet tonight... i'm the only one left in the apartment this winter break. david is back at home home doing double time at A&F and Banana Republic, Jas is also home in LA, and steph who is still in San Diego is back home home with her moms. the coming of 2002 will definitely bring about some changes, some good and some not so good...

so as i looked into steph and jas's room and i saw all of steph's walls bare and boxes packed it made me realize the short time we both shared together. it made me realize what a great friend i'll be losing to new zealand. so many good times and yet so many more to experience with steph it's hard to believe that she'll be moving out this weekend. i dunno i really can't express into words properly how much i'm gonig to miss you roomie... really don't know what more to say but i really wish i could've spent more time with you! if we could relive the summer again i would... roomie dinners, working out, and long chats...*sigh*... you definitely will be missed...

gotta love the simpons

"marge, kids everything is going to fine... go up stairs and pack your bags. we'll start a new life under the sea~"
*under the sea parody*
"homer! that's your solution to everything, to move under the sea. it's not going to happen..."
"not with that attitude..."

untitled

i did manage to fall asleep at a decent hour tonight, around 12 midnight... at about 3:45 am was when i woke up though... my body is still trying to get used to sleeping early and sleeping throughout the whole night... i kinda feel like an infant being up after only about 4 hours of sleep... to my surprise as i woke up i found that i roomie steph had left me my christmas presents! woo hoo... my friends know me so well it's almost cliche.. she got me a mini zen rock garden and bonsai kit. thanks roomie! =D the presents are also partly the reason i couldn't fall back asleep. i went to go get a drink of water when i found them on my desk and as i was laying there in bed i just couldn't stop thinking about how i wanted to get started on the bonsai tree. hahahaha..yeah yeah, i'm a dork... anywho, turns out it'll take about a week of waiting before the seeds will even be ready for me to put into the plant. didn't realize how much time it took to raise a bonsai tree.. especially since this particular tree is advertised as being a mini-tree, you'd think it would be ready to go... hopefully the tree will provide me with some much needed stress relief this coming school year... . i also have a gift from hai which i was instructed not to open but i'm really tempted to see what she got me... after shaking it i think it's a bottle of cologne, but i'm not sure which one... i really just want to take a peek and look... i'm really horrible at this waiting for christmas thing... that's the danger in giving me my gift and telling me not to open it until christmas... i have yet to develope the patience to wait... hence the reason my credit card bill is so high... i need that instant gratification or at least if i can't open it know what it is i'm getting... *yawn* okie getting tried again... i'll try to get back to sleep...

hello

the doctor speaks

just something about reading other pople's blogs gives me the inspiration to blog myself. well, this blog is in regards to the ongoing debate started amongst phil, stef... and now david ... basically steph and david are arguing against the use of medicine to treat their illnesses. although i'm not a doctor (yet) i still feel i have the obligation to provide my view on this...

none of your over-the-counter flu, cold, cough medications are supposed to provide you with 100% relief or even cure you for that matter... they are simply there to lessen the severity of your illness for the time the medicine is in your system. this merely gives your body a chance to fight the off the infection. biologically, steph and david may have good immune systems and i'll let the two slide without taking medicine for their cold or flu because honestly the only thing they can really do is treat the individual symptoms like coughing, aches, or fever and sweat it out... however i really can't advocate the this "no medicine for me view"... i defy either of them to try and fight a strep throat or bronchitis infection without the aid of medicine...we're also at our peak physical state which means we will get sick less often and recover faster because our immune system is more able to fight off infections... but by not finishing off your antibiotics you're providing that window of antiobiotic resistance to the bacteria that made you sick in the first place. the problem i have with that is although you may not have gotten sick from that bacteria, but you can pass on those antibiotic resistant bugs to someone else making making them sick with a strain of bacteria resistant to medicine...making it harder to treat. especially sucks if you pass on that infection to a little baby whose immune system isn't at full speed and presribed antibiotics don't work... not only does medicine help you from getting sick but it helps stop the spread of disease to others. as for the sickness being mental david i'll give you some credit for it because it has been documented, but there is a biological basis on which every illness occurs... each and every sickness can be pinpointed to a physical cause of some sort... if you can give yourself a runny nose by thinking about it then you'll make me a believer... until then, if any of your are sick go take your medicine you'll get better a lot faster! okie enough of this because i'm getting all fired up...

in relation to modern medicine i've decided to persue becoming an EMT (emergency medical technician) for the summer which means i'll be going to school every saturday starting in january... looks like my social calendar has been totally wiped clean... but honestly, i'm really excited about doing this... it's the same feeling i get whenever i watch ER. it's the excitement and rush of dealing with emergencies that really gets me. plus, it'll look awesome on my med school applications! =) can't wait! check back in february when i'm bitching about all the hard work... you'll have permission to slap me upside the head then...

Urban Renewal

ever since we moved into the apartment we've been telling david that his turtles need a better home than their tiny little plastic aquarium. i donated my old 10 gallon one for the cause of better living... well, although in a much bigger house his turtles basically swam all day and lacked any good resting places to stay dry. david last week tried to make their living situation a little more fun by giving them a turtle playground... it's not like turtles are very picky about where they live or play, but i highly doubt playing in trash and old plastics bowls was doing much for their happiness. it took nearly 3 hours and approxiately 300 pennies to completely upgrade what was once basically the turtle ghetto... today marked their very first day in their newly reburbished living environment. i went out to the beach today to collect huge rocks and also stopped by the pet store to pick up a couple of companions for the turtles. now the turtles are living it up with a rock slide and their very own dry rock patio. i also made a little cave for the little minnows i bought for the tank. although i can't speak turtle it does look like they really like their new home. the moment i put them in they began swimming around exploring their new place and the big one even did a belly flop off the rock slide! the next addition will probably be some plants for the fish since i have a feeling the turtles may not want to have their news friends around for awhile. serious though, i really can't wait for david to see the transformation.. i really hope he likes it =)

turtle paradise rocked by 7 deaths

Coroner's Report: Dr. Reggie T Saldivar
What began as the unsuspecting death of 3 minnows has blown up into an epidemic which has lead to the death of the entire minnow population of turtle paradise. The first 3 minnows were found dead at the bottom of the tank at approximately 3pm. Reports indicated the cause of death of these three to be most likely due to stress and malnutrition. They were buried at sea afterwards. 3 hours later a report came back of 4 more deaths. 2 of which were found floating near the rock patio and the other 2 which died together were found in Lover's Cave. Autopsies revealed no struggle or blunt trauma. Further investigations point to chemical shock as the source of death in all 4 cases. After their bodies were removed the water was treated with dechlorinate. According to my estimates the area should can be reinhabitated in as little 2 hours.

god bless their little souls.

the most wonderful time of the year...

today marks the official start of winter break for us UCSD heads... the family went to send off mommy on her family cruise to Mexico... the kids and i played in LA till late and just arrived now... although there's a party going on at armando's i'm just in the mood to sit around and relax... time to fill out applications for winter work and send out my CTY returner app. david's gone back home and it's a weird feeling to not see him typing away at the computer as i step into the room...it's nice and lonely at the same time...it's time to take a hot shower and catch up on some zee's.

take a bow

finals week has finally come to a smooth and happily uneventful conclusion.... time now to think about what lies ahead for me this year...

in terms of med school prep, this winter break means i'll have the extra time to devote to studying for the mcats and to get some volunteer experience.... that is if the hospital will just call me back... it's already been 3 weeks since i submitted my application and they still haven't called me back... looks like i'm going to look else where...

in terms of money this will also be the perfext time to get some funds back into my bank account and to start paying off those pesky credit card bills... seriously need to control my spending... definitely my new year's resolution will be to stop spending money i don't have...

in terms of myself i'll finally get to attend the Nike Culture Shock dance classes that i've been wanting to go to since october... i will also be trying, emphasis on trying, to hit the gym everyday in order to get rid my soft little gut...

along with this vacation it means the end is near for the La Cima apartment... not that we're breaking apart, just that we'll soon be losing a roomie by the end of the month and daivd will be gone till january... steph will be heading off to spend time at home after this month before heading on a grand adventure to study abroad in new zealand. words can't describe how much i'll miss her... and perhaps it's a little too early to be saying my goodbyes considering it won't be for another 2 months... in regards to missing roomies david will be heading back home to work at A&F for the rest of winter break... although this means i'll have the room all to myself it also means i won't be to see him everyday, joke around, or even be anonoyed by his snoring which are all things i'll miss... guess that means i'll be filling in the void with busy work, playing with the kids, and studying which in all should take up a lot of time as is... anywho, it's time to break open the korbel, play some mah jong, and enjoy my break...

almost done

well, i just finished my genetics final... the the one i devoted all of saturday and wednesday for only to find myself struggling to breathe... it's quite sad considering the test was open notes. not granted i'm probably blowing everything out of proportion, but still when i left that i final i had that feeling of "well, at least yer done..." and not the "yeah, i so kicked that final's ass...". seriously, this quarter as much as i tried to buckle down i don't really know how much it helped... honestly, what more do i have to sacrifice to get those damn straight As??!? next quarter just lock me in a box and shuttle me between classes... =P

study break

what's worse than finals week? being sick during finals week... *cough* in fact, my roomie steph was right..."you study so hard you make yourself sick"... what at first started off as a stratchy throat has gotten into aches and pains all over. now i'm left trying to find off this nasty infection while at the same time learning about what caused it for my bacteriology final. perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that fact that i've been studying for such long stretches of time these past couple of days, 8-10 hours at a time, that these 2 hours of review seem like 1st grade handwriting practice.

done

i've finished studying for both my tuesday finals... i doubt i can put any more information into my brain nor do i wish to. time to get some much needed and deserved right... my poor body is begging for a break... GOOD SKILL to everyone this week.

final's week thinking

why is it during finals week, the week i should be studying my hardest, i can be found doing everything else other than studying? and on top of that my mind is racing at 100 mph thinking about academics and the rest of my life? perhaps it's just this time of the quarter... it requires the most energy and so everything else in my life gets sucked into the vortex... on top of studying i've managed to rearrange my desk, do my laundry, cook, clean, and visit my family at home... this morning while i was driving home from the library i was amazed at the fact i was able to cram 10 weeks of academic school work into less than 24 tiny little hours. think about it, in theory we could go through an entire quarter within a week and graduate from college in less time it takes those people enrolled at Devry to get their degree in Dental Assistant, Electrical, Plumbing, High School Diploma, etc, etc, etc... i have a feeling this quarter will be litmus test of my study habits... i'll admit there were times where i ditched class and played, but there were also times where i did some hardcore studying... depending on my grades this quarter, it'll show me if this balancing act i've perfected is effective...

recently i've noticed my life paralleling that of APSA high school conference skits... i find myself studying to the point where i get sick for the sole purpose of not only making the grades for med school but demonstrating to my parents that the money their spending isn't going to waste. the other day when i got home to check for any mail that had arrived i found that my princeton review class had sent me all the necessary paperwork for my upcoming class which included the important tuition bill. let's just say an overwhelming feeling of guilt and indebtness came over me when my parents calmly took the bill and placed it on the fridge to remind them they needed to write the check first thing in the morning... at that point it really dawned on me that my parents are really investing a lot into the future Dr. Saldivar... really makes me grateful to God for all his blessing in giving a family that can provide for me anything and everything i could every want, for blessing me with friends who can get me to relax during one of the most stressful times of the year, and for blessing me with this incredible opprotunity to become what i've aspired to be... despite the stress of this week i'm quite content with my life and everyone who's a part of it...

Sunday Morning

it's 1:30 am at CLICS... it's finally settled down to a low shuffle of chatter and there are finally some open desks... i came to the library eariler today only to find there was literally no place to sit... i came back at 11 to find only this one computer desk free... i've been reviewing genetics the entire day and still i feel if i took the final now i'd fail, even with the open notes policy... despite the fact this test will be open notes i think it will be by the far the toughest of my finals... i think the added pressure comes from knowing that i'll be going into this final with an A and that i stand to lose that A if i don't kick some ass on this one... *sigh*... not too worried about my other classes... after tonight i won't be able to study for genetics until tuesday so i'm trying to cram as much into my brain as possible... okie back to the books... not outta here till 3 am...

it's raining

despite the fact i may bitch and moan about not having enough time to do everything i'm going to try and devote some time to blogging my thoughts... my one means of providing time for me...

well today it rained much of the day. despite the fact people don't seem to like the rain, i for one love it! perfect time to play outside or just snuggle up to take a nap. just about the best feelin in the world in to be warm and cozy in bed while it rains outside... no other feeling like it. such a great feeling in fact my roomie. David, slept in for much of the day missing a midterm. how you ask? well, usually david guages how much time he has to get ready for class by seeing if i've already left for class myself. if i'm still sleeping it means he has time... if i'm gone then it means he should be getting ready. well, (this is the funny part) when i got home at around 2 pm from my class david was still sleeping and i decided go take a nap. well, when david looked over to my bed he saw that i was sleeping and apparently the sun hadn't come out yet. but in fact because of the rain clouds it looked like 5 am in our room most of the day... when david finally woke himself up to look at the clock he realized that it was close to 3pm and had missed his vietnamese midterm... well, luckily he was able to reschedule it... so yes, let this be a lesson to you, don't use your roomies as alarm clocks or maybe a better one would be if my roomie had been up to study for his finals then none of this would have ever happened...

today marked the official end of fall quarter for me. no more classes! just finals and lots, lots, and lots of reviewing... i even bought a white board to do reaction mechanisms and other nerdy things over and over again. it's one of the proven ways i know that'll help me to retain all this info. writing it down or teaching it to someone. and sadly i don't have anyone to teach this stuff too... today was also supposedly the last meeting of triple k for the quarter, but plans didn't solidify due to the obvious fact that it was 10th week. well, looks like we'll be getting together for dim sum after finals are done with...

oh yeah, so it's really quite sad and despressing that up until now i never knew how to throw a football, errr... well, throw one properly... in fact, quite emasculating to think about it... well, today my partner in crime, philip, dragged me outta bed from my nap to teach me the fine art. i would liken my mentality to that of carlton banks on the fresh prince... i felt so sheltered learning how to throw a football like i had been denied this rite of passage growing up... despite the fact i felt like a little 5 year old when i threw it and probably looked like one it was quite nice to finally be able to say i can , somewhat, throw a football...afterwards i felt like a whole new world was opened for me... hahahaha... so funny i just have to laugh at myself... =)

On the verge of panic...

it's 1 am thursday of week 10... my first final is approximately 5 days away... i'm torn between studying my classes in the order i'll be taking my finals or studying the material i know least... for now i've opted to option number one... so, i finally finished reading everything i needed to read for my bacteriology final, which doesn't necessarily mean i'm ready for it... case in point, i was working on the practice final and came to the realization that most of the material covered in the first half of the course had left my brain... the only things left of that info were remnants of key terms and mechanisms... now i'm going about studying for this final the hard way... i have to go through every chapter and write up a summary of the material that way i can remember it. i'm not the type of person that easily memorizes things by just reading it... i need to either say it out loud or write it out to commit it to memory...anywho, looks like it's going to be a long night before i can get any sleep...

dream log november 28, 2001
for a while now i've been looking for sheets so my wifey, steph, can turn them into a duvet for my down comforter... i still have yet to find the perfect one...with that info in hand here's my dream... i walk into the linen store me and david passed through when we went outlet shopping at veijas a while back... an older asian women asks me what i want... i tell her i'm looking for sheets to turn into a duvet... she brings me around the store which is piled high to the ceiling with comforters in plastic bags. she pulls out a set but i decline them and she pulls out another which i also decline. i tell her i'm looking for something dark blue and yellow. she brings out a yellow and white checkered sheet. i'm a bit frustrated so i decide to wander the aisles myself. i can't seem to find anything i like and every other thing i pull out is a wool blanket... that's basically it... nothing weird, sexual, or mysterious about it... pretty benign dream, huh? check back tomorrow... maybe they'll be something a little more interesting

shoot me

to quote my buddy philip "just put a bullet to my head..." despite the great outlook i didn't end up falling asleep until 4 in the morning last night.. err... this morning... it's about 2 in the morning despite eating and taking a nice hot shower i'm still tired and cranky... anything and everything is bugging me right now... so it's best that i have minimal people interaction... i'd much rather have my personal anger eat away at me than me going off on someone i cared about... aiyo.. it's just one of those days where you've done so much and yet there is still more to do... i studied for about 5 hours today at clics and yet i still feel like i didn't learn anything while sitting at my oversized desk... luckily i haven't hit the panic phase yet, that isn't due until monday.... right now i'm just at that point were i'm just saturated with what i already know and that if i add anything else it'll all just come pouring out. the agenda for tomorrow is pretty much the same... (try) wake up early, study before class, dinner, and then study at clics till closing... notice how i gained more study time by omitting breakfast and lunch? yes, just another one of my impromptu experiments... hopefully this one won't end up killing me... =P

so yes, i did remember my dream. it was qutie vivid in fact. i told both stephs about it this morning and roomie steph said it must have been the hot pockets we had before we went to bed. that must have been it because my dream was pretty crazy... i would go into the details of my dream but to prevent any misunderstandings i won't. let's just say that a lot of the things i said in my dream were actually thoughts i had in my head before i went to bed. necessarily that wouldn't be something i would be afraid to discuss but considering the situations in my dream it would be better if i just left it at that.

tired

that's basically the only word that can adequately describe my state of mind... it's a good and bad thing... good in that i'll actually be able to get to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up early to get some studying done... bad in that i think i may be pushing myself a little too hard and getting myself sick... today at CLICS i had a pounding headache before our 10th week APSA officer dinner... but after getting some food into me and getting a couple of laughs out i was feeling a whole lot better. the end of the quarter is approaching faster than i had hoped... just thinking about the fact i only have one week to prepare for 2 very difficult finals is enough to keep me tossing and turning before i fall asleep.... i'm also implementing another little experiment this week... among the first things i do when i wake up will be to log onto blogger and document my dreams... hopefully this will help me to remember them with more detail and eventually help me to regain the lost art of lucid dreaming... speaking of which although my dreams have become more vivid and i can remember then more often it's been harder for me to fall asleep... anyone have any suggestions to help besides counting sheep? well, like i said before i'm tired so i'm going to try to catch some z's and wake up early tomorrow...

Hell Week

before i get to the meat of this blog just want to give a HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY to PHILIP LI!!!... it is on this day 22 years ago the world was forever changed, altered, modified, deformed, and in general a more booty place with his pressence... happy birthday ya big baby! =P

my friends that know me well know that i worry a lot and tend to over reactive... today has been no exception to the rule. just so many different thoughts going through my head... yesterday i was reunited with two very good friends of mine from high school and elementary school. my friend joseph whom i've known every since 1st grade has always been there with his crazy smile and "holy" radiance and khrizna is just about the sweetest and smartest girls i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. the three of us decided to meet up at starbucks and catch each other up on our lives since we last saw each other. khrizna is very much in the same boat as i am with nursing school and pressure of living up to expectations. the first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw me was "reggie! what's wrong? you looked so stressed out..." we both talked about our future plans and how the competition in our major (she's a mammalian physio major at UCLA) is so incredibly fierce.. the one thing that came out of our talk was that as long as i have the drive nothing can stop me. and joseph... hmmm joseph is just my comic relief.. talking to him always puts a smile on my face and the fact he never really intends for me to laugh makes it all the better. =) at first i was a bit peeved i had wasted my day sleeping in, going to a family party, and then going out to have coffee (which seemed counter-productive), but in the end it was the recharge i had badly needed. in fact i was so inspired that i was able to study in my apartment which is something i haven't been able to do since i've moved in.

haven't really told you what's been eating at me today... well, today i went to go study with my female partner in crime Hai and during the second half of our study session i was nagged by the question of what to do with my summer? i mean, a fairly simple straight forward question that doesn't really warrant much thought but then i started thinking about alternatives to going back to asia which was the original plan sicne last year. which brought into my head that i have massive amounts of debt which are looming over my head and that i should first pay those off before i do anything. which lead to the notion of working for johns hopkins for another summer. that opens up a whole new door because now the los angeles site which i worked at for the past two summers has been broken into two separate sites, one at loyola and another at pepperdine... too long and complicated list of pros and cons for me to really get into depth but the possibility still remains that i might not be going back to the philippines as soon as i would have hoped. also, the hospital which i applied to volunteer for hasn't called me back which worries me and again my bills are starting to eat away at my already low savings. the thought of money always brings me back to my parents, god bless them, who pay for everything as my roomies can attest to. i know they never complain to me about the money i'm spending here at school, but i know that they are expecting a lot out of this huge investment. my mom the other day while we were driving told me that as long as i study and get good grades i shouldn't worry about anything else, but it's hard not to worry about these sacrifices they're making for me. in fact, i know that my poor little brother is getting negleted due to the fact all my family's resources are going into the making of the future Dr. Saldivar (has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?) i want to be able to say all this hard work was worth the pain and that hopefully my friends understand that it may mean they'll have to make due with my pressence in spirit rather than body... basically boils down to finding that way to make it as a pre-med student while at the same time not forgetting my friends.. "ta ma de..." so hard to find that all important balance... anywho, i studied for 8 hours today and now it's my time to relax, watch some tv, play some video games, and get a good night's rest...

thanksgiving eve

i bought the turkey and the roomies bought the rest... thanksgiving eve dinner is going to be great... good food and great friends... i can't wait...

aftermath

definitely had my fill of delicous food today. the menu consisted of turkey (of course), mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, baked vegatables, rice, brownies, cheesecake, and apple pie. special thanks to Mayrin, Phil, Jimmy, and Eric for sharing thanksgiving eve with the roomies... unlike steph's grandmother i didn't start cooking at 4 in the morning, but started at around 12 in the afternoon. the food was good nevertheless and the friends were even better. while cooking dinner i had the overwhelming feelings of happiness and just got the giddiness that only comes around the holidays. me and steph even put together a christmas cd. i'm looking forward to christmas break which is coming in about 2 weeks. at this point i think everyone in the apt is tired. jas is in her room with jeremy, steph went back to jimmy's, and david has once again beat me to sleep. in fact, he is still wearing his dress clothes! i really don't get it.... how do you fall asleep without brushing your teeth or changing clothes?

Happy Thanksgiving!

9th Week, Day 1

Today i woke up before 10 for once and was wide awake and alert. again i was able to dream. however, at this moment what i remember from the dream escapes me. the dentist i sent my resume to called me this morning and asked me to come in for an interview. despite my "wonderful resume" and limited dental experience he was looking for someone who actually knew something about teeth. but it's all good because i made some good networking because he said he would forward my resume to his local doctor friends if they were looking for an assistant. his current assistant also suggested i send out my resume to doctors as well, which is something i intend to do. i have the whole day ahead of me which translates to... go study! be back tonight

2 AM

just about to call it a night... i've just brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put on my pjs... i do believe this is the earliest i will have gotten to sleep. actually, my roomie, david, is fast asleep right now... i think the moment he put his head on his pillow he began snoring. if only i could fall asleep that fast. actually his snoring isn't too bad now... it's almost reassuring in a funny way... kinda like sleeply in the vicinity of a big bear... puahahahaha... alright, i'm outtie... been studying too long and found myself actually enjoying what i was doing...

9th week

well, the weekend has passed and the start of 9th week is upon me. props to janet and my roomie steph for putting together an awesome high school conference. honestly, despite the (many) things that went wrong with the conference it was awesome. i'm so glad that i have such an awesome individual that i can call my roomie.

with only 2 two weeks to gear up for finals i'm starting to feel the crunch of time upon me. i'm also starting to worry about the many little tasks i set out to do about 2 weeks ago. I still have yet to be placed in a job, volunteer my time at a hospital, or find a professor to do research with. in fact, i still haven't registered for my mcat course which i should have done this weekend. if by tenth week i haven't done any of these things please dop my apartment and kick my ass. cuz i think that'll be the only way for me to get it done. honestly, it's not like i haven't been trying because my friends can attest to the fact that i've been trying hard to get all these things done. i also finally locked myself in my room and wrote a practice mcat essay in which i failed miserably. i'm not all too sad about it though because i know writing is the only means i'll be able to improve my writing skills.

despite the fact i haven't been able to sleep at a reasonable hour in the past 3 weeks i have noticed that i can remember my dreams again which is something i haven't been able to do for a long time. in something like a dream i went after high school conference to mt. palomar to watch the meteor shower. the night time sky was clear on the mountain and provided the perfect seating arrangement to watch shooting stars race across the sky. it was also a very nice way to relax after the high stress day of high school conference. however, now with high school conference out of the way there is no excuse for me to not put 100% of my efforts into school. with my battery fulled recharged i think i'm ready to fly into this week. the battle plan for the week is to catch up and review for finals as well as try to avoid all social situations until wednesday night which will be our roomie thanksgiving day dinner.

Hectic but Rewarding

After a small little episode in which i thought i wouldn't be able to make it as a med school student i've managed to pick up the pieces and start off running.... in a very short time period I went from thinking i should extend my education by another year to just taking it all one day at a time. i've come to conclusion to drop the idea of a chinese minor and have focused my attentions at the goal at hand, med school. in the search for medically related jobs and research projects I've found a couple of opportunities which look really promising.
i've also be able to focus more time to my studies while finding the balance between work and play. today i was able to revive the lost art of playing back at international gardens which really made me happy. i seriously had forgotten how much fun it is to just play around in mayrin's and steph's place when neither or them are home. =D unfortunately, finding that balance has meant sacrificing one little thing. it's sleep. i haven't been able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour for almost 3 weeks now. it's gotten so bad I skipped all my classes wednesday to catch up on some much needed rest. i've been trying to find the time to sleep, but it's no use trying. if i'm not working on homework, it's APSA related stuff, or even just doing stuff I need to do like laundry or eating. today i got home at around 1:30 am and yet i sit here at my computer typing away at my blog. aiyo~... in conclusion though my academic and social life are good. check back in during finals week and we'll see if i'm singing the same song.

What happened?

The weekend started off so promising... spend time with roomie and study. those were the only two things i really wanted to get done this weekend. unfortunately i didn't get much of either task done. I"M SO SORRY STEPH! =( the blame can be placed on me for not just taking the time out and just kicking it with her. it was pretty crazy becuase the moment we were going to sit and watch the movie she rented our other roomie came back from Stanford Conference. anywho, pretty much we've just been on conflicting schedules all weekend.

however i was able to get my weekly mah jong fix with the Triple K crew at a different location and night. i think this marks the first time Tracy has been able to play mah jong with us since the start of the school year. we were also able to break-in Emiko's new set of penalty cards at tonight's/morning's game. Well the sun is about to rise which means it's time for me to get some much needed rest. i doubt my sleep cycle will ever get back to normal... bleh =P

quote of the day/month/year

"Life is painful, but suffering is optional." honestly one of my most favortie quotes and especially relevant during this time of transition for me...

Again Life Goes On...

i never really understood the old cliche "to take life one day at a time" and i think today i'm finally starting to realize the true meaning of it... after going to my pre-med advisor today i've come to the conclusion life doesn't always go according to plan... case in point, according to my original plan i was going to graduate in 4 years take a year off to play or whatever and then dive into med school... but now it doesn't seem so clear cut as it used to be... now i'm coming to grips with the possibility i may not get into the med school of my choice which really makes me question my abilities... but after thinking, thinking, more thinking, and talking upon talking my friend's have helped me to realize that life isn't about making neat little plans, but rolling gracefully with the punches... but it wasn't all bad news coming out of that meeting with my pre-med advisor, he really helped me to see that although it won't be easy it's something i can definitely handle if i really push myself... all day today i've just been thinking how i want to restructure my life and in the process i ended up stressing out and just thinknig about how there is just no time for me to do all i need to get done... anywho, i realized that all these little things can't be dealt with all at once like i want to and that i really do need to take my time enjoy it because i will only be given this opprotunity once.. special thanks to my wifey steph ng, philip, and my roomie for listening to my pyscho-babble... i know i tend to react and then think afterwards... =)

Life Proceeds

well, the news wasn't great when i went into academic advising today... in fact, the news hit me hard and quite honestly disrupted my nice little neat plan i had for college and my career in general... however in hindsight thanks to some very good friends i've come to the realization that is just merely a set back and nothing much i can do to change the facts... without getting into too many details today i received the wake-up call i had been waiting for... i went to the bookstore bought up some fatty fat mcat prep books, looked for some prep classes to enroll in, and got two chapters from my mcat review outta the way... afterwards i felt much better and in fact got back into the groove with my "family" whom i rarely see because of our busy schedules... tomorrow looks like it might be another saturday study session, but we'll see how it turns out... i think i can sleep happy tonight knowing that my best really is good enough... =)

untitled

last friday marked another great day at disneyland with the initiation of Tricia into our annual disneyland pass club... it's was pretty funny how she ended up buying a pass.. she tried to get in using our friend's pass (who incidently is a guy) and she was immediately stopped in her tracks.. but she was a good actress and claimed she had taken her boyfriend's pass by mistake... very believable... but anyways, for halloween/christmas ( i don't think those two holidays go together very well...) they've totally changed the haunted mansion into The Nightmare Before Christmas... i was little skeptical about it but after going through it i can say disney did alright in comparison to the crap ass job they did with moving the main street electrical parade to california adventure...

in other news, i have finally fingured out Dumpling Inn's recipe for scallion beef... yeah! i was actually inspired to try it once more after looking through some recipes for orange chicken when i read over the ingredients which included ginger... so i decided to use ginger and low and behold scallion beef was created in my very own kitchen...

so check this out i gave my roomie david a haircut at about 3 in the morning a couple days ago... it was the first time i've ever cut hair and the only real experience i've had is all the haircuts i've had before... actually i think if i can just get a little more practice i could start cutting other people's hair or at least cut my roomie's hair on a regular basis since he doesn't pay to get his haircut... anywho, in terms of school my academic life goes on and graduation is quickly approaching... in fact, i'm quite frightened at the prospect of being school-less for a year inbetween graduation and med school... i honestly don't know what i want to do... part of me wants to just find a real job while the other part is saying just lay low and relax... but after living away from home for the very first time i know that i don't want to go back and i really hope that when next year comes along i'll be living with my roomies still... but we'll see how the melody of life plays itself out...

5, 4, 3, 2...
well, the countdown has begun to my last midterm in ~33 hours... it's about 1:20 in the morning and i can't seem to get into sleepmode... you know, it's when you want to sleep because you know you should but random thoughts are just running through your head?

hmmm... as i was writing this my roomie steph came home and now i'm just wide awake... i guess this means i'll try to study myself to sleep...

I'm older

Well it's been a long time coming , but i've finally gathered the strength to write...

october 9th was my 21st birthday and my roomies threw me a surprise party which i managed to figure out since i came home unexpectedly... nevertheless the thought and execution was perfect. =) and let me just say i'm totally in love with all my roomies, all 8 of them, for being so fun and sweet on my bday. anywho, i'm in the middle of midterms and i have one more to go this week... i'll keep it short and sweet... good luck for those of you with midterms and paper's due this week...

Feeling the burn
Well, it's monday night/tuesday morning and i'm definately feeling the pressure of the quarter... by my estimations i think i should be getting to bed by 5 if i'm lucky enough to finish my reading... but oddly i'm not stressed out... usually when my life gets to the point like this i'm bawling my eyes out by the end of the night because i hate it so much, but strangely i'm content and quite proud of the fact i study every night... unfortunately this life of studying and APSA organizing has left hardly any room for socialization... it seriously hurts to not be able to hang out with my family every night like the "old" times... but like philip said eventually peter pan must leave never never land... i just didn't think it would be this soon... *sigh*

in between my study times however i've been able to really discover the fact that i love living with my roomies... each of them is so dynamic and i honestly don't think i could've planned it out any better... we've done so much already together and it'll be a shame when steph leaves our happy home... we've cooked, laughed, played, cried, and i just love em! "that's my roomie! all 8 of them!"