i personally find this amazing... in the news today a research scientist accidently discovered a mouse that has a genetic resistance to cancer. they breed the mouse and find that it's most likely a dominant genetic trait. the implications of such a find are just awe-inspiring... yes, i'm a big science nerd.

instead of sleeping for most of my day off i had a breakfast date with my friend rachel. then headed to campus to run some errands for grad banquet, which finally looks like it's taking shape. =) went back home to help my little bro rent a tux for his prom. since i have better fashion sense than him i picked it out for him. he's going to look quite sharp at his prom i must say. i ended paying for the whole rental as my birthday gift to him. i know if my parents had gone with him they would have cheaped out on everything and just made my little bro anger and sad. also found out that my little bro is going to be a college man =) so proud... he'll be going to cal state san marcos. hopefully gain some independence and mature a bit...

after what can only be described as an agonizing night i found myself strangely at peace in the morning. the sun was shining and it was finally starting to feel like spring has finally arrived. i guess you could say today was just full of blessings. in addition to the wonderful spring time weather i got my UCLA application sent out and got my transcripts mailed to my remaining schools. i actually got to work 15 minutes early which is amazing since i'm habitually late. my boss even asked me if i wanted to take tuesday and thursday off since the clinic has been so slow lately. on top of that i was able to leave work an hour early to drop off some samples at the hospital. in what can only be described an a totally random occurance i found a perfectly good cucumber on the ground on the mail to my mailbox. normally i wouldn't think about picking up and taking home produce i find on the ground, but in this case i made the exception since it was one of those expensive seedless cucumbers that's shrink wrapped. to finish off the great day my book from barnes and noble came in. i'm going to start reading for fun again. something i haven't done in a long time.

starting to hit me that my time in this apartment is limited. i've talked to jas almost on a daily basis about what my plans are and it's really nice to know that she doesn't want me to leave. if given the option to stay i would consider it, but i think my time here is done. i've reached that point where i can't grow anymore. i feel like peter pan and that it's my time to leave never never land. i've pretty much got my sights on irvine and the bay as possible places i could see myself going to school for the next year. a new crowd and a fresh slate i think would do me some good.

tomorrow i have the day off so i'm going to take advantage of it. breakfast date in the morning, finish up the last of the post bacc bizness, talk to saundra the director of the ucsd program, sell some grad banquet tickets, and then take my little bro out to go tuxedo shopping.

i was brushing my teeth and reading the tube of toothpaste when i was suddenly reminded of my grandfather... i was transported back to all the times he would ask me to drive him to the store so he could buy some colgate. at times i would be a little brat and say i was busy or that i would do it later. he was always so patient and understanding. i remember too how he would always kiiss me on the forehead before he asked me if we could go to the store. he would always sing songs to me too. i remember how paper thin the skin on his hands felt when he rubbed the back of my neck... that was back in the day when i was driving around my dad's old celica, which i hated... he would tell me that if he had a million dollars he would buy me whatever car i wanted. afterwards he would ask if i wanted a hamburger. he loved hamburgers. times like this i really wish he was buried here. at least then i would have a place to go to talk to him. not like this. typing away my thoughts. internalizing my grief. why the fuck was i such a fucking brat? i hate myself right now... please forgive me.

yes! just finished all my post bacc applications. all i need to do is send out my transcripts and i'll be done. only problem is i don't remember which schools i've already sent out my transcripts to. damn it. this is why you should keep your receipts... bah, so dumb... how sad is that? i can't keep track of the work i've done and yet i want to be a doctor... haha. seriously trust me. i'm smart. =P

bleh... i hate doing these personal statements for applications. it's so much easier to be eloquent in person than it is to spout wisdom via type... maybe it's just because i know what i say will have an affect on my future... here in blogspace i can type forever it seems. i'm getting that same feeling of apathy and boredom that only comes around midterms and finals week... funny thing is my friends are the ones who are in midterms not me. i'm done. now for a little something innane...

50 things about reggie...

1) I was born in Olongapo City, Philippines. My dad didn't get to see me until i was about a couple of months old since he was in the United States at the time.
2) I talk to myself while driving alone in the car.
3) I fold my toilet paper now... i used to scrunch it
4) back in high school i was addicted to IRC (internet relay chat)
5) my current on-line addiction is reading blogs
6) i have an extreme fear of failure and rejection.
7) related to #6, hence the reason i rarely play sports
8) i have never been in a longterm relationship
9) i used to want to be a raver
10) i also used to want to supe up my car to be a little asian racer guy
11) i didn't know what a B.S. stood for until the end of my 2nd year of college
12) i don't like being the center of attention, but i crave personal one-on-one attention
13) i always do the sign of the cross and touch the rosary in my car before i drive
14) i go to church every sunday, but don't really agree with the catholic church
15) it takes me forever to finish doing my laundry
16) when i'm sad i cry and when i'm mad i cry
17) i love jack in the box tacos even though i know they're crap
18) i've eaten mac and cheese less than 10 times in my lifetime
19) given the choice of jeans and boxers i'd probably buy the boxers
20) I've never had to spend the night in the hospital or go to the ER.
21) Ever since the drought that happened in southern cali back in the 80s i've always taken really short showers
22) i eat really fast. by the time i'm done with dinner my parents are just sitting down to the table
23) when i'm at home i only eat about 6 tablespoons of rice with my meal while the rest of my family always fills their plates
24) when i was young i thought eating too much could kill you. i overfed my goldfish
25) my mother is half chinese but doesn't know how to use chopsticks
26) i don't like getting my skin tanned
27) i used to want to a ninja. i used to practice my stealth moves on the roof of our house
28) i pluck the hairs inbetween my two eyebrows
29) i like hiphop but i don't like clubbing
30) i used to play the piccolo in high school
31) i never feared being alone until i realized that i was the only one amongst my friends w/o a significant other
32) i believe in finding one's soul mate
33) it takes me 30 minutes to fall asleep even when i'm dead tired
34) even if it's 80 degrees i still need to have my down comforter on top of me before i fall asleep
35) i can lucid dream
36) i think chinky eyes are damn sexy
37) my parents forced me to practice my handwriting and typing when i was little
38) i only talk in my sleep when i'm feeling anxious
39) i'm selfish when it comes to sharing stuff with my little bro, but i don't think twice when it comes to friends
40) my most "daring" piece of clothing is a leather cuff i bought from urban outfitters
41) if i'm home in the afternoon i like to watch Arthur and Zoom
42) i've traveled up the whole west coast into canada in a single trip
43) i can only play video games if it's with someone else otherwise i get bored easily
44) out of all the people i've randomly met on-line i have yet to meet one in person
45) i think kissing is an even more intimate exchange between two people than having sex is
46) i stretch every morning in bed after i wake up
47) i try to wash my car every week
48) i sometimes grind my teeth while i sleep
49) my parents once thought a midget at school was beating me up to do his homework
50) if i see something wrong i rarely point it out... ie. food in your teeth or your fly is down...

wow, that was a lot harder than i had thought... kinda fun though... a lot better than working on my applications =)

phew... found my camera... yeah i had it with me during rehearsal and yes i left it there... feeling sheepish now... jumped to all these weird conclusions...

day not going so well... can't seem to find my digital camera... i swear i brought it to rehearsal with me last night... it was in my backpack... i really hope i find it otherwise i'm assuming some bastard took it out of my backpack during practice... =/ so yeah, i ransacked my apartment and room trying to find it. no where... this isn't a good feeling...

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

today was just a long day... i woke up early because i had a breakfast date, but ended up cancelling because i wanted to sleep some more and it turned out my friend wasn't even up yet. ended up sleeping another two hours. it's those last bits of sleep when i get the most vivid and weird dreams. this one in particular is going to need a bit of analysis before i post it. had a long productive day at work. it turned out the work i did the day before, cataloging samples, was done in vain since i was working with the wrong set of boxes =/... so i had to go back to the morgue and do it all over again. afterwards i headed to the mall to buy my friend his bday gift and then got home in a enough time to check my e-mail and then catch the bus to campus for pcc practice. i like taking the shuttle from my apartment to school. makes me feel urban, like i'm back in new york.. hahaha.. had practice for two hours, then i was picked up by angeline to go downtown for our friend's bday dinner. we went to this persian restaurant in downtown which was incredibly hot. the heater must have been on or the air conditioning broke because i was constantly drinking water in order to keep myself cool. afterwards we headed over to jerry's place to play some games and eat birthday cake. so yeah, it's about 1:30am and i'm finally home. have practice again tomorrow and another bday dinner to attend to as well. anywho, just want to find the time to sit back and relax. i did get a call from a good friend of mine today which was an extra special treat. =) i plan to finish my post bacc apps by sunday. no ifs, ands, or buts...

the applications to ucla and ucsd are still sitting on my desk wondering when they'll be ready to leave... argh. i've been so busy and so lazy since the deadline is a month away, but i know the sooner i send them out the sooner i'll find out where i'll be next year. so yeah, i'll try to send them out by monday. so my trip to new york is up in the air... the possibility of receiving an interview while in new york is just too great for me to leave the west coast anytime soon. i wanted to go the last week of may or first week of june, but i know that'll be when all my schools will probably start calling me. too bad there is literally no time between my graduation ceremony and me leaving for where ever i'm suppose to end up.

so i've taken up this weird habit... i've started to brush my teeth while in bed. already my friend, angeline, thinks i'm lazy since i have an electric toothbrush... i didn't get the idea to brush my teeth while in bed by myself though, i remember seeing my wifey steph do it while sleeping over one night... makes sense though, gives me extra time for my body to get used to being up... hahaha... i'm still lying down, but i'm awake and brushing my teeth. talk about multitasking! not so weird though since i'm one of those people that likes to walk around while brushing my teeth anyway.

just about had the scare of my life... i received a call from the UCDavis admissions people about my post bacc application and while i'm talking to her in midsentence my cordless phone begins to emit that familiar beep which means it's about to die.... note: the battery in my cordless phone has been slowly dying since it's had one too many recharges and needs to be replaced... anywho, while she was talking to me about my transcripts i'm frantically trying to get to another phone... i pick up the phone's base unit, but can't hear a thing since my phone has a feature that prevents people from eavesdropping on your call if you're using the cordless unit... so while i'm trying to figure out how to turn it off and only half listening to the lady my phone dies... fuck! so i immediately scramble to find her number admist all my papers...i find her number and call her back, but the line is busy and sends me to straight to her voicemail. i leave a curt and polite voicemail apologizing for the phone incident and ask her to call me back ASAP. i sit at my desk agonizing for a call when i decide to just call her back myself. she picks up and we both laugh because she thought i was no longer interested in the program since i hung up on her and seemed like i wasn't paying attention on the phone eariler... anywho, good news i should find out if i get an interview by the first week in may.

today at work i actually felt productive... =) unfortunately most of my time was spent at the "freezer farm"... i call it the morgue. it's this building tucked in the corner of the healthcare campus where we keep all the old plasma, serum, and blood samples... it's just full of freezers as the name says... the atmosphere just reminds me of a morgue, the flickering lights and the low humming of a dozen freezers... there is even a freezer called a coffin freezer since the door flips up like a coffin... so yeah, i really hate going down there by myself. my imagination gets the best of myself... i think i've seen too many scary movies... had to inventory a whole freezer full of samples and was only able to get to 3% of the contents... i just realized i only have a couple of weeks left at the clinic... i still need to raise enough money to pay off my stupid gapcard and jcrew accounts... plus i was planning on going to new york before graduation. aiyah, i hate not having money...

oh yeah, so i got my blood drawn today... i was really nervous at first, which is strange since i'm normally not afraid of needles. but i figure i'll be doing this for a living so i sucked it up and watched as the nurse looked for a vein and stuck me with the needle... it was interesting to watch her draw my blood... yeah i'm a weirdo like that

skipped work today in the hopes that some work would build up for me to do... let's hope that my theory is correct...

monday monday monday

work today was incredibly slow... i spent most of my time surfing the internet and reading blogs. by the time 1 o'clock hit i was so bored i told my boss that there was nothing to do and that i would just see her and rest of the staff tomorrow morning... in thinking about the lack of work i've had this past week i think i'm going to take tomorrow off in the hopes that some type of work will build up so that at the very least i'll be kept busy for a full day next time i come back in. the APSA board meeting ran late as usual... i didn't get back till 1 this morning. =P so proud of myself though... when i got home i started a pot of rice and made myself a very decent dinner... seasame beef and steamed bak choy with oyster sauce... =)

with the prospect of not having work tomorrow i'm already planning out what i want to get done tomorrow... i need to finish my UCLA application, go to Marshall advising and find out when my degree will be posted to account, and then plan out the APSA general body meeting with the rest of the peanut gallery...

blah, the stupid N on my keyboard is peeling off slowly but surely.. it's now starting to look like the I key... i wonder if that's covered under my warranty? or if that's just part of the wear and tear of it?

just watched the matrix with the roomies and we came to the general concensus that keanu sounds just like zoolander

Happy Easter!

unlike more other catholic families, easter sunday doesn't really represent anything much... just a day for the family to dress up and go out to eat, but what's the difference between this sunday and any other sunday? nothing really. being away from my apartment from morning to night makes it feel like i've been away for ages. today i dabbled in more of the "manly arts"... hahaha... i checked my brakes today on my own. i'm trying to prevent myself from becoming a yuppie... i figure as long as i can work on my car on my own, that'll prevent me from totally falling into the suburbanian trap of yuppism...

last year when i was studying for the mcats and in general worrying about my future i developed a weird eye twitch... if you just looked at me you really wouldn't notice it... you'd have to really be in my face to see that my right lower eye lid was twitching, but still it was noticable... my first thought was that i had developed some weird type of neurological disorder and that my nerves were just randomly firing... i imagined myself degrading into a mass of twitching muscle later on down the line... after i let my imagination get the best of me i figured it was all merely caused by the stress of everything... after i finished the MCATs that annoying eye twitch disappeared. *phew*... however, with me working on my applications for post bacc programs the twitch is back... fucking great i thought... the funny thing is i didn't think i was under that much stress to begin with. in the interest of stopping the twitches i'm going to try and finish all my applications by today so i don't have to think about them anymore. scary thought for the future though, what will happen when i'm in med school and i'm constantly under stress? maybe a i little botox treatment to my eye lids would do the trick... hahaha

better luck tomorrow was awesome... highly recommend it =) i would describe it has the asian version of requiem for dream but not as dark...

what a difference a day off makes...

i was able to finish all my personal statements for the post bacc programs i'm applying to... actually it was a matter of cutting and pasting my first personal statement and editing it a bit... now all the thinking stuff for those applications are done..

in a bit of poetic irony i was driving to the coffee bean and noticed that a couple were pushing their car off to the side of the road... well, on my way back home to my apartment i saw that the tow truck had finally arrived... tthe ironic part... that the truck's hood was up, meaning he was out of comission just like the car he was trying to tow away...

the weather has been on the fritz here in san diego... this morning it was cloudy and rainy, get out for lunch it's so warm i go out in my polo shirt, and then come night time i'm back in my wool pea coat... the ucsd super computer/weather controling machine must have a virus of some sort...

watched face off with jasmine and adam tonight... the movie was classic john woo with the slow motion cinematography, white doves, and lots of action... the story in itself was a bit lame, but it was cool to see margaret cho...

just discovered a song by brian mcknight... the weird thing about it is that he's singing in tagalog... actually it's pretty good although he sings with an american accent so it's kinda hard to understand what he's trying to sing... from what i gathered he actually worked with a couple of big artists in the philippines...

work at the clinic has come to a standstill... at one point we were scrambling for staff since it was just 3 of us... now we have 6 people working in the lab! with the increase in staff and just the general slowness of the clinic this past week i've been thinking about putting in my 2 weeks sooner than expected... i mean, at the present moment it's nice to make money, but in that same token i would be nice to just be on vacation with nothing to do... anywho, the clinic this past week as just been incredibily slow... i find myself surfing the internet and reading blogs. it was so slow today that my boss suggested i take off early and take tomorrow off since there were only a handful of shceduled patients. she even gave two of the lab peple hour and a half lunches today =)

i know there was something i really wanted to blog about, but it escapes me at the moment... the plan of the day tomorrow is to sleep in and then send off my davis application after polishing it at the coffee bean.

bah... wireless internet is giving me and jasmine a headache... don't understand it... sometimes it works great and other times it's just a big pain in the butt... =P

the weather man says we can expect rain in the next couple of days... i'm praying it doesn't rain when i go up to LA this weekend... going to visit the Japanese National History Museum and possibly watch a friend perform in UCLA's Korean Culture Night...

as of late my wireless internet connection has been giving me and my roomie, jas, a headache... sometimes it works fine and other times it likes to be a little punk and not work... bah... the weather man said today it was going to rain again this week... i'm actually looking forward to it... give me a good reason to stay in doors and work on my applications...

with little fanfare i closed a chapter of my life today... i won't be returning to LA for the summer... for the past 3 years I've worked with Johns Hopkins University with their Center For Talented Youth Program (what a mouth full!) first as an RA and then just this past year one of the Health Assistants... i really can't speak highly enough of the program... really allowed to grow as an individual... it was the first time in my life i had lived away from home for an extended period of time and i've gained so many wonderful connections because of it... in fact, two of my favorite residents still talk to me on a regular basis. this summer i'm planning to start work on the reapplication process for med school which means no more CTY. came to the conclusion today that becoming a doctor is what i truly want to do and therefore i refuse to let anyone's opinions or my own fears stop me from doing it... i got my fire back! =)

wanted to see if colorgenics could accurately figure out how i was emotionally... some of the things it said were right on the balll...


You are trying to evade your problems and difficulties and tensions by 'leaping before you look'. This could be construed as a 'panic' situation and panic is an irrational fear - 'loss of control'. You are desperately seeking a way out of it all and because of any headstrong decisions that you may be making this could lead to an extremely dangerous situation. Slow down - matters seem to find a way of resolving themselves. Without sounding complacent remember that 'all's well that ends well'.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centeredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offense.

You are trying to prove yourself - not only to yourself but also to everyone around you. There is much that you would like to say and do but the situation warrants self-restraint and that is the last thing that you have on your mind. It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it but you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions. You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognized as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfill this 'complex' by ensuring you are the center of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

i spoke too soon... one more blog for the night...

latest developments in my applying for post bacc programs... i just sent off my UCI application and i'm currently set to finish my UCDavis one by tomorrow... hopefully... although the deadlines for all these programs are coming up i'm not as stressed as i was when i was doing my med school ones... that's a good thing.

i wonder if the extended warranty on my laptop applies to the keys... i just noticed that the N on my keyboard is starting to fall off... =/ or at least a part of it has already fallen off... i dunno if that's just petty, and i mean if it's going to take a week to get the problem fixed then i can probably wait or not even do anything... little details tend to bug me... that's why i always read the fine print of everything...

"life is in the details" -reggie tiong saldivar

3 blogs in one day... i believe that's a personal high...

tonight while driving home i noticed someone on a motorcycle who was dressed like a cop with the exception of one small detail... i know for a fact that cops don't wear sneakers while on patrol... i hope he wasn't one of those sick people that like to trick people into thinking he's a cop... i was thinking about following him in my car to see where he was going...

anywho, after talking to mis amigos i'm feeling much better in terms of my freaking moodiness... yup, back to normal... whatever that is worth... =P

as of late my emotions have been running the gauntlet... one moment i'll be content and the next my thoughts will be pre-occupied with my insecurities and worries... i recently said that i'd delegate my life to fate for the moment, but it's still hard... insomuch as i wanted to be a director not only because i found telling a story through film a beautiful process, i just liked having that control. control over my vision = control of my life. but as of late my emotions have taken hold and clouded my thinking. i've always looked at people who let their emotions get the best of them as illogical and incapable of putting everything into that big picture of life... instead, i'm in that position where i'm in a constant struggle between what my mind says and what my heart feels... waaaaahhhh... =( i'm also aware of the fact that i'm choosing to remain abiguious although i say i hate ambiguity...

long ass meeting this monday, but what's new?

if i was still in school i'd be pretty pissed, but since i don't have anymore homework so it's all good...

i hope that me being tired even though i took a nap this afternoon isn't a sign that i got mono from my co-worker... no, i didn't kiss her, but today was her first day back after being away for a week... didn't really spend time working with her, but everytime i went into the lab room i felt like her mono-germs were bombarding my face... this is all probably psychosomatic... i mean at one point while working at the clinic i was convinced i had gotten tuberculosis...

i don't really remember my weather science, but today it rained which may have explained why it was so hot last night... i really wish i had someone to play in the rain with... i was just thinking about how much fun it would be to play tag or even basketball in the rain... if i had my doggies with me i would prolly take them out into the rain to play... instead of going out to play i settled for walking slowly from my car to the supermarket while enjoying the spring time deluge... hopefully the rain will keep up until tonight...

it took me nearly a month, but i think i've finally come to terms with being rejected from my almost all my med schools... i tried to deny it at first. then i sought other ways of validating myself. even went as so far as to think of possible career changes in an effort to save myself from my own personal torment of not living up to the high standards i set for myself. this past weekend i dragged myself out of bed to attend a conference held by the UCI school of medicine... they were presenting their reapplicant postbacc program. at first i wasn't going to go... i had gotten in late from clubbing the night previous and i was sore. i figured what were they going to tell me that i didn't already know? but knowing that my own self confidence has led me wrong before i decided to go. i figured what does one lost saturday mean compared to the rest of my career? the conference was extremely small.. only about 19 people in attendance. it wasn't the size that mattered however... it was just listening to the speakers that really got me. for a long time this road to becoming a doctor was a lonely one. all my friends had decided that medicine wasn't for them and i was basically left to my own devices to figure out my life. lwhile everyone else is getting ready to join the real world and getting these awesome jobs with mucho money, i'm here investing thousands of dollars to go to school and investing even more in personal time... listening to these people who had gone through the postbacc program i kept thinking "wow, i thought i was the only one"... phil always asks me why the heck am i in such a hurry to get to med school and become a doctor? now i know it's not a matter of when i get there, but rather how... and the how is strictly up to me. i think i've led myself to believe that there was only one pathway to becoming a doctor... at the moment i'm currently taking path B instead of A... the road less traveled you would say. although not fully content i've definitely gotten my fire back...

making posters for a political cause wouldn't normally make my list of things to do or even things i would remotely enjoy doing, but tonight was just beyond what i could have expected... tonight in the SAAC lounge a bunch of the APSA heads went to it and made a grip load of posters for a campus political slate which we support... the energy and support of everyone was literally amazing... my faith in APSA and everything good it stands for has been restored. had the biggest smile on my face while working with everyone tonight. it's this type of support and fun that needs to be bottled up and shared with other members... it was that very feeling of purpose and belonging which initially got me hooked to APSA..

random thought: i think i'm slowly becoming what i've feared of becoming... the asian urban yuppie... the elite upper middle class who drive around in their BMWs and sleep in their $200 Ralph Lauren sheets... i already shop at j.crew...

work today was pretty much the same with the exception of my trip down to the freezers... we call it the freezer farm because it's this building that is just full of freezers.. all these freezers hold past specimens dating back from the early 90s. i always hate going down there by myself it reminds me too much of a morgue. i think with my active imagination i get scared easily as well. today was day two of retreiving samples. one of the freezers has so much frost that after about 30 minutes of hammering and chipping away i was still only part way through. i felt like i was making an ice sculpture! at one point i pretended i was on a search and rescue mission to save a group of tourist trapped in an alpine snowbank... at first it was easy to move out the frost, but as i moved deeper the frost turned to ice... i tried using the plastic chisel i had with me, but i accidently broke it while trying to hammer it into the ice... eventually i though, the temperature in the freezer began to rise and i had to stop working. looks like i'll be heading back to the farm again tomorrow...

i've said before that i feel like my life is somewhat in limbo... as of now i feel like my life is not only not moving forward but in fact i'm going in reverse... my plans for the future seemed to unraveled while what i had thought was a sure thing at the moment seems not that much closer... maybe this is all just post-graduation self doubt on my part... i think i should go back to swimming again... i started swimming when my grandfather passed away and it seemed to help me focus my thoughts... just waiting for the weather to heat up a little more... it's still too cold at night for me to resume my nighttime swims though... aiyah... i think i've said it before, but self doubt is a bitch...

click here to find out which asian action superstar you are!

You are Michelle Yeoh. You are a responsible, nurturing and caring person. you like the romantic side of life. whether it's by a british secret agent or a master swordsman. You like it all. You try and take care of the people you care about, but sometimes they dont take ur help too kindly. That's okay cause you got it all.

today while eating my lunch i opened my fortune cookie and was happily surprised at what i found... inside my fortune cookie read "follow the advice of your heart"... some of the best post-graduation advice i've heard in a long time...

the trip to vegas although two days past is still fresh in my mind... i really think our car got to be very close and the saying that "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" wasn't an understatement because we did some crazy stuff that i wouldn't want to reveal again... hahaha... good times though. i think i've become an official Cirque du Soliel fan for life... i know it's a bit pretentious to buy 100 dollar tickets to watch (in essence) just a circus, but honestly if you watch one Cirque show you'll know that it's far from being just a circus... soooo good. i'm planning to watch Verakai when it comes to LA and maybe even try to spot my favorite people from the Fire Within series...

the last quarter for most of my friends has finally begun.... for me, it's the beginning of an early summer vacation. although i don't have anymore school my schedule is still full with work and APSA related business. because my schedule is so busy my room has been paying the price... it is such a mess right now. clothes everywhere and papers all over my desk... i really should clean it up soon... i checked my grades and i passed all my classes so at the very least i know i'm officially done with school. =)