kids are at the opera which means i'm left to my own devices for a couple of hours... going to go to exploring the city on my own.

in new york, mom and pop stores are the norm while in california most have already been removed by corporate america. you can tell the who the tourist are because they like to stay on the sidewalk and wait for the signal to walk while new yorkers stand on the street while taxis zip by and walk across when there is a lull in traffic. can't describe how wonderful it is to be in new york with phil and mayrin... just like being back home only the scenery has changed.

nyc

here i am in glorious new york city... i had a quick layover in san francisco and then it was a 6 hour flight next to a frumpy old man and behind a little boy who insisted on reclining his seat during the whole entire flight... i ended up holding my pee all the way across the united states. =P although united is going bankrupt i realized that i liked their service so much more than southwest. assigned seating is nice and getting a whole can of apple juice is much nicer than having to sip from the tiny clear airline cup... anywho, today i'm off to see lea solonga in flower drum song rewritten by david henry hwang...

although temperature wise it isn't too bad, the wind chill factor makes it unbearably cold. and here 2st century is not only a real estate agency it's also a cheap designer clothing store... i think i'm going to stop by and buy a couple more nautica socks...

didn't receive much in the way of material gifts this christmas beyond the expected cash and clothes from the family... enjoyed more of the intangible aspects of this holiday than anything else. my dad's family has finally arrived from the philippines which means he has all of his brothers and sisters here in the united states. it took nearly 15 years to petition all of them over and to have them all here is just a wonderful feeling. too bad my dad is still in atlanta... =P since junior high school me, sonnier, and hazel have had our annual christmas gift exchange. this year was no exception. funny to think that we are all still friends despite the varied paths we all decided to take. nice to know you can always come back home. going to the malls around the holidays i'm always on the look out for old high school heads and this week i managed to bump into my old best friend from elementary school and then two days later bumped into his girlfriend.

tomorrow i'm off on a plane to the cold and snowy east coast to be with my kids like a good father. too bad their mother will be spending her new years in tahoe getting plastered... hahahaha j/p... looks to be a very fun and eventful way to end and ring in the new year. guess i should start packing now.

yeah i said it a while back, but this time it's really true... i sat down and finished my last secondary... although in all honesty i think i did a pretty half-assed job.. only because i had to use an old fashioned typewriter and the space they gave me to write my responses was so limited. I felt like i was writing stuff, but didn't have enough room to justify what i was saying. most of it was a rehash of previous applications only this time the extremely condensed version. i literally could only fit 5 sentences into each response. for instance one question asked to what is the role i play within my immediate family? how the heck to describe such a complex family dynamic within the constraints of only two lines? i don't understand it. half way through the application my patience was wearing thin as it was getting harder and harder to limit my answers to the seemingly complex questions. ehhh... no matter... done and done...

exhanged gifts with hai and sonnier today... did a little shopping in the rain and managed to realize how lucky i am to have such wonderful friends in both of them. looking forward to nyc, although i feel like i don't have enough warm clothes to keep me alive. shopping at jcrew proved unfruitful... i should have ordered the sweaters i saw on-line about a week ago... ehhh... maybe i'll end up buying more clothes in new york despite the promise i made to my mom and grandmother that i wouldn't spend money on clothes in new york.

the apartment is slowly getting messier and with everyone about to leave for the holidays i doubt it'll get cleaned... i tried using the dishwasher today only to find out that it's broken... the inside is now a total mess with liquid soap and hot steamy water filling the bottom of the dishwashing machine. so much for making my clean up job any easier... =T the agenda for tomorrow and monday is simple, clean up and pack up... i'm leaving for christmas!

in my boredom i returned to my old high school haunts. IRC... internet relay chat. it's lost most of its appeal to me now. being that it's 4 in the morning there is an understandable lull in activity. when i was in high school it was a rush to dial in and stay logged on till morning talking to people i considered my "internet" friends. keeping up with the lives of people i knew not only via their nicks, but personal webpages with pictures and shout outs to their friends. this was before the age of blogging and drag n' drop webpublishing... where ppl were admired for their grasp of html and using frames was novel. funny how now everyone and their mama has a blog. the proverbial soapbox of the 21st century.

took a nap this afternoon and i'm still wide awake. tonight i tried once again to get lost and then find myself on the internet. i think it's become some sort of addiction. reading through other people's webpages and blogs has become my equivalent to reading a good book. each page is like a different chapter. some more like reading textbooks than great pieces of literature. some blogs i find incredibly fascinating, while others are merely a place for the author to bitch and moan about his/her life. not enough can be said for a blog that's written well... there is a definite beauty to well written internet prose.

officially done with christmas shopping and found a beanie i can live with! came to terms with my poverty and decided a regular ol' cotton beanie from jcrew would be good enough for nyc. speaking of which, already have plans to watch lea salonga in the new flower drum song with mayrin... looks to be a fun vacation although i know phil will probably be extremely busy with work... =T

with the onset of vacation i told the research clinic that i'd put in some "full time" hours when i could... unfortunately, my full time hours seems to have translated into i'll come in at 10 and leave at 4... my supervisor hasn't really said much and only today made a small remark about the last lab assistant trying to grab as many hours as he could. i think i've reached that critical mark where i could go either way now, either i like it or i leave it...(sidenote: i've never held a job for more than 6 months, either because i decided i didn't like it at this critical point or it was simply the end of my contract...) today i came to the realization that although i find what i'm doing serves a very useful service, in fact my parking permit says "i'm proud to save lives!", i can't really say i'm passionate about it because i really have no idea what i'm really doing. my daily duties are to input specimen data into the computer, label the specimens, pack them, and ship them whenever they need to go out. in between that i do a bunch of smaller duties. but really i have no connection to the patients, doctors, or even the problem being addressed by the study. i guess tomorrow i'll try to figure out what each of the studies i'm working on is all about. made me realize that wanting to know the answers is one of the reasons i want to become a physician. i just like to have all the answers.

almost ready for christmas and my trip to nyc!
christmas presents.... check
plane ticket.... check
winter coat..... check
leather gloves.... check
beanie.... not quite

my search for a beanie that fits has sent me far and wide across san diego... i'm really particular about what goes on my head since i usually don't wear hats... i think my head is shaped funny or it's that my ears stick out way too much. plus i don't like it when the beanie makes that pointy this on top of your head... makes me look like an elf... anywho, i did happen to find one beanie which i particularly liked... only bad thing is that it's from Banana Republic and ridiculously over priced... we'll see if i eventually break down and buy it...

"chinese for crap"
i should know better... in fact, of all people i should know this... why the hell do i always fall for it? i'm the freaking iron chef for goodness sake... i guess it's because i always think that this time around it'll be different, but it's never different... it's always the same. today for lunch i went to panda express... chinese for crap... on top of being ridiculously priced their food doesn't taste like anything... their orange chicken tastes almost like their broccoli beef... i always go with the hope that it'll be better than the time before... i guess cuz i hadn't had rice in while i was in need of something asian... argh, such a dumbass, can't believe i've gone there 4 times already and not once have i left satisfied... in fact, i always feel stupid eating there, surrounded by all the non-asians who take it as great chinese food... if my lunch break was just a little bit longer i'd head over to convoy...

okie, so the prospect of snowboarding this weekend is upon me... do i go? actually the question is how can i get the money to go? i really wish i had worked extra hours last week... that least then i'd be able to pay for it... too many expenses are looming over me, mainly bills and my trip to nyc. speaking of which i can't wait to see philip and mayrin on the east coast! just need to find myself a beanie and i'm set.

yesterday was "yellow" elephant for all the 5th year APSA heads... it was such a great night, with awesome friends and good food. we all left completely stuffed. when i got home i was thinking to myself about how fate was able to bring me into contact with so many great people... it's amazing to think how one little fork in the road could have meant the difference between being friends and acquaintances... it's amazing when you think of all the friends you have and being able to trace the point at which it could have all been different...
i left the party with an umbrella i could use in NY and angeline left with the 5 liter box of wine i had bought as my yellow elephant gift. the best present of all besides the cheap porno that chris happened to choose was the hands-free cell phone holder. in essence it was just a giant rubberband that you put around your head to keep the cell phone in place. the picture on the packaging was funny enough, but perhaps even more so was the person to receive that as their gift... none other than Bob, who is adamently refuses to buy a cell phone. as mindy would say she got what she deserved since the gift she brought was a half drunken box of cheap wine left over from last year's bday bash... it was definitely better to give than receive in her case.

cty

my johns hopkins internship every summer since my 2nd year has always been something i've been very proud of... after my second year i thought i was done, but once again it was calling me, beckoning me to return once more for another fun filled summer... well, the summer i decided to return wasn't quite like the summers i remember from previous years, i was completely stressed and scared about my kids dying of allergic reactions and hardly got to leave campus for anything fun, but in all, a very good learning experience for med school... today i checked my e-mail and see that they've put up an on-line newsletter... first thing i read after the page loads "a new older student site at Kaneohe, Hawaii"... yup, can't seem to separate myself from this program no matter how hard my resolve is... once again i'm applying for another summer to be the health assistant, this time in lovely hawaii... =) wish me luck!

packing it up

like clockwork i opened up my big box of school stuff and added to it my notes and textbooks from the quarter... my way of physically putting an end to the quarter... i did however remember to keep my bio stats notes as those are going to get burned in my Christmas fire... amazing how fast and slow it went... if i had to do it over again the answer would be an immediate no. i'm ready to move on with my life... move on to med school.

i think i've become more jaded because of this shitty quarter... very much like the responses i'm giving on my applications, i've said them so many times it feels as if they've lost meaning...

our lease on the apartment runs out in may. should i stay another month or just pick up a leave? it all depends... my relationship with one roommate has been strained beyond the point at which i don't even care. sad and at the same time numb to it. i want closure, but holding on to that indifference keeps me in control. i think fate is trying to tell me something...

Q&A with Me

Full Name: Reggie Tiong Saldivar
Age: 21 +1... i refuse to get any older than 21
Sign: Libra and Monkey
Blood type: unknown

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
it all depends, work days i wake up at 10, school days i wake up at 7... either way i'm tired

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Akio Morita, founder of Sony

3. GOLD OR SILVER?
gold. don't really wear either all to often... i have a gold chain and charm from my dad at home which is too small for me to wear now

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
real women have curves, i'm slowly becoming a hollywood film nazi

5. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
friends, simpsons, aurthur, and trauma: life in the ER

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
nothing, i don't eat breakfast,,,


7. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
a psychotic clown

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no, it doesn't reach out that far

9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
people with confidence and determination, watching shows about doctors always gets me inspired

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Tiong, yup, chinese middle name and filipino last... my grandpa was chinese

11. BEACH, CITY, Or COUNTRY?
the city... more culture and less likelihood of getting skin cancer

12. SUMMER OR WINTER?
the summer, i love being able to swim laps at night

13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
green tea and ube

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
salted and buttered

15. FAVORITE COLOR?
gray

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?
turkey and avacado


18. DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE?
yes, just a matter of finding it

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?
immaturity, apathy, and laziness

20.FAVORITE FLOWER?
orchids

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG
WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?
the very next weekend... they'd all find out at my "I Won the Lottery Party"

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
aqua

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE?
in a great big house in pasadena

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
no,

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
friday


28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
white, the less it tastes like alcohol the better

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
went to chuck e' cheeses and before that had dinner at LIPS

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
no, but i should...

3 blogs in one sitting... definitely must be finals week...

went through a review of all the concepts that will be on my final for bio stats... bleh... still have that feeling when the final comes i'm going to blank out... in times like this i find solace in the fact that ppl are probably just as confused as i am... time for a jack in the crack break...

in less than 12 hours i'll be done... i hate bio stats... even more so than i hated ochem... at the very least that subject was related to medicine... this on the other hand has nothing to do with it... ehh... well, maybe if i wanted to do clinical trials on a new drug and test its affects... but that's beyond the point... at 3 pm december 12th i'm going to take my bio stats notebook and exact some punishment on it, office space style...

midnight @ CLICS

one of my professors said while going through med school he thought he was suffering from every disease he studied about... i think i'm going through the same thing... today i noticed pain in my lower back and i immediately thought it was my kidneys... i remember reading about glomeronephritis and how your kidneys get clogged with antibody-antigen complexes after a bacterial infection which eventually leads to kidney failure and possible death... prolly not that, but for a sec thought how it would be if i didn't have to take the final for my bio stats class because i was rushed to the ER... okie, enough damn daydreaming... must study bio stats!

i slayed my immunology final with the type of exacting and swift vengence that's reserved normally for 007... the time spent studying was quite worth that feeling of accomplishment... during which i was questioning whether or not i could really handle it as a med student since now the material i was learning can be directly applied to the practice of medicine. in fact my medical microbiology is a textbook for med students... needless to say, i actually understood it and demonstrated that i understood it...

now for the weird side effects of not sleeping.. i'm a bit cranky now and because i have to study for my most hated class i'm even more so... i'm so over staturated with this material i'm not even fully absorbing that my brain refuses to make any more new connections because it would be a waste of a neuron connection... interestingly during the review i noticed that my whole body was going numb... the type of weak numbness you feel while you're asleep... i would pinch myself and it wouldn't hurt and at one point i did think i was dreaming and tried to think of myself floating above the room... i guess this is what happens when you've become sleep deprived...

here i sit at my desk trying desperately to hammer out another application during the middle of finals week. maybe this blog will help stimulate some creative writing out of me. some of the questions are different from other applications, but as a whole most are all really asking the same things. at this point i think i've divulged every little tid bit of information about my passion for medicine, my family life, APSA, and the need and desire to serve underserved communities top every school that i'll applied to. the more questions i answer the more hollow they seem or at the very least because i've repeated myself so many times it's like a favorite song you overplay. now i want to change the track. one of the hardest things to write about is how to describe the hardships in your life without seeming that you want pity or trying to write a sob story. i have this picture in my head of medical school committee members reading through tons of applications and being totally jaded to the accomplishments and struggles of their applicants.... as a whole pre-med students are quite accomplished and so i guess after seeing about 1 milion 4.0s i would think it loses it's impact... i guess this just reflects my mentality on the whole situation... i was once aspiring and thought i could do it... now i fear i've just become old and jaded... i remember reading on mikey k.'s journal about being in love with the process as much the final product... i'll take that as my mantra for this week. need to push it through my thick skull that my 4 years of work went into this one moment, don't fuck it up....

final #1 is done... three more to go...

went to the APSA stress relief and surprisingly it was just that... had a great time not thinking about studying at all... played a little volleyball and taboo and had a chance to just kick it with the rest of the 5 year crew... one more week of finals and application madness and i'll be done... it'll be nice to just work and not have to worry about anything, school (both undergrad and med) related...

i'm not normally a breakfast person... when my mom stopped cooking breakfast for me back in middle school that's pretty much when i learned to wait till lunch to eat... it's very rarely will i get up and the first thing i do is eat... in fact, eating right after i get up gets me all sick and squirtly... however, when i do manage to have breakfast I don't usually have pancakes... growing up i was always fascinating at tv commercials that had families at the breakfast table with huge stacks of pancakes... for me eating about half a pancake was enough to put me into a sugary coma... it wasn't until recently that i came to the conclusion that it's not pancakes all together i don't like, it's my mom's pancakes... now don't get me wrong, my mom is a great cook and i love her food... but those bisquick pancakes are just way too rich for me to swallow... even those mcdonald's pancakes i think taste and look gross... i had yet to find a pancake recipe which i liked, up until today... this morning, since i didn't have work, i decided to make blueberry pancakes for me and my roomie with the Jiffy blueberry muffin mix... anywho to make this mundane story come to an end i really liked the pancakes! with bacon... i love bacon and blueberry pancakes... going to go out and buy 5 boxes of Jimmy blueberry muffin mix... and at only 89 cents a box i can have pancakes every morning =)

dvided my time for studying.. two days for each test starting today... i hate school i hate school i hate school....

anywho, enough biznitching... i started housesitting for my boss last night... it's in a nice pocket of north park, yes they do exist!... the house is pretty tiny wih only two bedrooms and it's just surrounded by plants. i told my co-workers that if i was trapped in the house no one from the street would be able to tell... decided i would spend the night since work would only be a 5 hour commute from his place. a lot of times i really relish my time alone, esp in the apartment... but this around it wasn't all to comfortable... it was just a surreal feeling to have my boss's house at my command... i even slept in the master bedroom... seriously, i was pushing the uncomfortable envelope that night. exploring the house only took about 5 mins and after that there was this uneasiness of what i should do next... watch tv, study, play with the dog? it was just all too weird to be in someone else's house... plus on top of that it's was colder than a marble nipple... decided that i won't be spending the night anymore...just feed the dog and study for a bit...

10th week

thanksgiving break is officially done... in my opinion a horrible place to put a 4 day weekend... puts everybody into a false sense of vacation when we haven't even tackled finals yet.

my weekend was actually time well spent. had dinners with friends and family and even got caught up with all my homework. on top of that i finished off the neon genesis movies. i watched them in japanese, in english, and with the director's commentary... reminds me of the time i sat down and watched nearly 6 hours of fight club. if you've never seen this anime series i highly recommend it. it's so detailed and with so much to analyze it sucks not having anyone to discuss it with.

anywho, back to the business at hand, it's 10th week. i always say this at the close of every quarter, but i can't believe how fast it went. two more secondaries to complete then it's up to the committees to make their decisions. got word back from ucsd. they don't want me. ehhh... i figured as much. it's all about numbers with that school...provides me with even more proof that i belong somewhere other than san diego. serendipitous how ucsd doesn't want me, but ucla does and how the situation was reversed when i was applying to undergrad... but at least now i can concentrate on my other prospects... my parents took the news well considering the fact that no matter where i go to med school i won't be a simple 15 minute drive away...