1 in 100

just read a statistic that 1 in 100 people between the ages of 15 to 45 are infected with HIV... that's a pretty scary statistic considering the fact we have limited venues in treatment... makes my work with the research clinic seem all that more important...

Happy Thankgiving

Our annual apartment thanksgiving eve party was quite fun... in fact, i was down right overwhelmed with how many people came. so glad i decided to make a pot roast in addition to the turkey although admittedly i think i may have overcooked both... better safe than salmonella... after tonight it's hardcore studying and application churning... have two more to crank out by the end of next week. one more week and i'm done. =) heading back home for a great thanksgiving filipino style...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHILIP =)
it's official... HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY PHILIP!!!!!!!! my east coast partner in crime turns 23 today... really miss you and sorry i couldn't celebrate it with you in person. just know i'm always with you in spirit, plus now you have a video of all us to watch while you blow out your birthday candles =) in dedication of this momentous occasion present a partial list of philip li moments, quotes, and random ass ideas....

10) MANTIES!
9) surviving the canadian/us border with an apple named mayrin
8) the SAAC restaurant
7) buying $15 price club "kirkland" shoes
6) buying $30 worth of cookies and candy just for the hell of it
5) cell phone that only worked in the boonies and when thrown on the ground
4) [insert dirty comment] "you know what i'm saying" [insert dap here]
3) "hmmmmm... moonkies..."
2) philip dancing
1) "you hungry?"

my roomie steph a. is finally back home... it was so unbelievably nice to see and hug her again... right now i'm very happy that she's home =) this saturday was high school conference... despite what could have gone wrong the day, it went by smoothly... so smoothly in fact we were all shocked we were running on time... i do have a couple of points to bring up at the debriefing, but aside from that i think the event went off well... went to dim sum with the family, minus phil plus terence, today which was good and then afterwards went christmas shopping with mayrin... one gift down and a million others to go... i think all the stress of this week has finally caught up with me... i have that scratchy feeling in my throat. the one you get right before you get a cold... feeling not so good... only 2 more weeks and this quarter will be done! can't believe it's gone by that quickly... can't wait for vacation...

i wouldn't consider myself a hateful person or even one to keep a grudge... in fact, when i'm mad over something i'll bitch for about a day and then forget about it the next, but in this case i've held in my anger so long it's burnt a whole through my compassion... i've never felt this way towards anyone before and i can't make a conserted effort whether this emotion feels good or not, because honestly having such distaste and irreverence for this indidual feels fine, down right good in that evil, malevolent sort of way... it's that cool and heartless distaste that i have i think that keeps me from getting hurt again. will this feeling go away anytime soon? probably not. do i intend to tell this individual about it? probably not. isn't writing about this on-line versus telling the person a childish way of dealing with your emotions? yes. but it's my blog and i can do whatever i please....

i took that midterm and gave it a good hardy beating! wasn't as hard as i thought it was going to be... had a little power nap and then went to breakfast at keaiths. i was thinking about i was going to order even before i went to bed that night. good thing rachel decided to meet me for breakfast otherwise i probably wouldn't have gotten up. now i was take a short breather, finish my secondaries and start prepping for those finals. just found out today at the bio department that i took an extra elective class... =/ it's all good though since the extra one is required for ucla med and not really for my major. life has gotten to be pretty mundane... been writing about school and homework for the part 3 days. yep, no social life whatsoever...

back to my familiar haunts... sitting here at a computer at CLICS, doing almost the same exact thing i was doing a year ago. i have a midterm tomorrow in my bio statistics course and right now i'm about to fall asleep... haven't had a chance to take a nap today even though it was on my list of things to do. maybe i'll head over to keiths for some late night coffee and dessert. i need more time to study.

sitting at my desk i was listening as two first years talked about the classes they were going to take and how soon registration for the next quarter was coming. made me feel old considering i had registered for my classes around the beginning of the month. one was talking about how the other did horribly in his chemistry midterm and the other talked about the horrible GE requirements for revelle. for a while seeing all the new first years made me want to return to the days when everything was new and fresh... after listening to these two talk i made the conclusion i'm quite happy where i am now. went through all the struggles of getting where i am and now i just want to reap the rewards... med school being one of them. time for a quick power nap and then it's back to bio stats...

well, half of my prayer was answered today... one letter of rec... just one more and i'll be much happier... let's see if this works... please please please please please ucla give me an interview...

aiya! why the hell is the mail so slow? still waiting for letters of rec to come in that were mailed about a week ago. please please please please please please come in by tomorrow...

to my faithful readers, all 6 of you... t's 3 am... 2 hours after posting the away msg i was off to bed... the nap i took around 7 o'clock tonight has left me sleepless in san diego.

came to a couple of unsettling realizations today about my current situation... i currently have no friends, at least within physical range, and i lack any semblance of a social life. my determination to get into med school has taken on some sort of guise to hide the fact that i'm so miserable with my life right now. i'm in a rut. writing about my life experiences only makes me realize the life i considered normal is anything but... however, it's that difference that sets me apart from the multitude of applicants. today in the library i saw a girl walk past me holding a big fat red book with "kaplan" emblazened on the spine of the book. i strained to see what test she was studying for, the MCAT... of course! i wanted to pull her aside and talk to her. applying for med school is like being in a secret club. you want to share your secret knowledge with other members. there is all this secret jargon too... primaries, secondaries, LORs, 45T, etc, etc, etc... one show i never watch on a regular basis but love whenever i watch it is ER... so damn exciting! although i've volunteered in a real ER and usually it's stomach aches, stitches, and alcohol poisoning...

while working on my biometry (biological stats for you ppl who didn't know) lab i came upon the crazy realization that i had no fucking clue what i was doing... it was that same paralyzing fear that comes over you when you reach a midterm/final question you just don't know how to answer... so you just do whatever and trick yourself into thinking you answered the question... hadn't felt that unprepared in a while... which means i'll be in the library all this weekend trying to teach myself this shit... argh, i really really hate anything that requires math. esp this class becuase i doubt it'll ever come into play as a doctor... i consider it my challenging class... in that if i can just grit abd bear it and get an A it'll be all good...

well, it's official. i'm set to graduate this winter. this time last year i wasn't ready to leave. i felt like i had so much more i needed to do before i left, but now i'm more than willing to leave my place here at ucsd. time for me to move on. i've told a couple of ppl already i need a drastic change in my life...

i'm praying that my letters of rec get into the career office by tomorrow... i really want to send them out already. plus it takes almost 5 days for them to send them out after i request them. in terms of application usc is done. ucla is about 49%, and loma linda is at 80%... only ucdavis is left. still praying everyday for ucla... in all honestly ucla is my dream school. the school i wanted to go to back in high school. if i could go back and change things would i? ask me in may when i find out which med school i'll be attending and then i'll tell you. =)

everything happens for a reason....

when i thought my options for med school were slim, i'm once again surprised, delighted, and confident.. it's strange, when i first started college i was more than confident in my abilities... i was down right cocky... by my second year i had picked out my top choices for med school and it was all a matter of picking which acceptance letter to send back. flash forward to today where now the work of 4 long years finally pays off... i'm still in disbelief that it's all really happening... crossing my fingers and hoping for interviews now... pray for me ppl...

the drastic change in weather has put my allergies into overdrive... my eyes were watery and itchy all day and my nose would not stop running... and i think i've developed a tolerance to benedryl, took it about a half hour ago and still not feeling sleepy and my symptoms are still there... i shouldn't have bought the cheapy vons brand medicine... too bad claritin isn't over the counter... just thinking back to my summer in la when i was a health assistant.... i remember having my favorite pills... no, i didn't take any... just had my favorites because some were asethetically pleasing... like the green claritins that looked like skittles or the concertas that looked like mini vienna sausages... okie... my nose is raw and i want some sleep...

random realization

i think the drag queen that yelled at me for "cheating" at bingo may have been the same one the yelled at mayrin over the phone when she tried to make reservations for 20 the day of her birthday....

from 1 in 5,500 to 1 in 3,000...

now hopefully 1 in 600 to 1 in 124...

at the edge
i've come to the point in my undergraduate career where i know it'll all soon be over. up until now i wasn't ready to leave ucsd. i'm not saying that i'm 100% ready, but more prepared.

props to my buddies phil and the stephanies (both a. and n.) who are as much my premed advisors as that bastard in the career service center who made me cry is. for a while i was unsure of myself and doubted in my abilities. for me failure, rejection, and disappoint are strong deciding factors in my life. i would much rather not try at all than to try and fail. this type of thinking as effected almost every aspect of my decision making... i've always grown up with the mentality that if i can't get it right the first time don't bother trying at all. after receiving my secondaries i slowly begin to think about whether or not i could make it. the task at hand seemed almost impossible. i started to think of plans B, C, and D as a way of lessening the blow should rejection come. at one point i was going to move out of the country. but after talking to them I've come to realize that if i put my 100% effort into everything i do then there should be no need for disappointment. sometimes a guy needs a little bitch slap once in a while.

could it be that i'm technologically satiated? i went to Best Buy today with the full intention of buying myself a gaming system, but after talking to phil i nixed the gaming system. with that i decided to look around to see if there was anything else i could possibly want or need. a new palm pilot would be nice i thought, but have one already and it works just fine. a new mp3 player? eh. none of them have yet to pass my style test which is the first one i apply to anything i buy. if it looks good then i'll see if it actually works. thought about getting a new laptop but Best Buy doesn't have the best selection in terms of what i want. something small, thin, with wireless web. nothing. decided to look for a new phone. the lady couldn't really answer any of my questions. felt guilty later for asking questions i knew this poor old lady couldn't answer. which begged the question... what the heck was this women who undoubtedly was older then my mother doing selling cell phones?!? i walked out of Best Buy empty handed, but didn't feel like i missed out on anything. shocked is the word. for once there wasn't something there that i just had to have. maybe i should go to tokyo....

they both just stared up at me with that look. the one where you know you did something wrong, but they see from your face that you're refusing to acknowledge it. i've been busy i replied. one of them shot back that i had ditched class twice already this week and the other said my midterms were already over. yeah i know i should have spent more time with you. i'm sorry... they both said that their patience was wearing thin and that if i didn't do something about it my opprotunity would be gone. since it's a long weekend i promised them i'd have more time to spend with them.

damn, secondary applications are sons of bitches.

secondary reaction

in the world of immunology a secondary response refers to the immune system's ability to mount a faster and increased intensity to a repeated antigen. in essence, your body has learned to fight an infection more effectively. i think i've reached that point with my classes. in order to spare myself from another infection of mind numbing classes i've decided to implement a series of treatments which include sleeping through class, ditching class, and watching tv at home... thus far it's been working...

it's 6th week and senioritis has gotten the best of me... i'm tired of school and i'm tired of taking classes i don't care about. the good news is that a 3 day weekend is coming up.. the bad news... my stupid paycheck hasn't arrived yet... =/... that's not good... looks like i'm going to need to pull out a loan from the bank of mom and dad, although i think i'm already overdrawn there... my procrastination has also gotten to the point where i've been revamping everything in my life... from away messages to closet... also have taken up to taking random pictures everywhere i go... alright off to my last class of the day...

with the expansion of the internet, wireless networks, voicemail, and texting (which i don't think is a real verb) you would think it would be easier to get a hold of your friends... it's not... =P


MouseNg22: hi honey!

Auto response from mochicamry: coffee run...

MouseNg22: poo
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mochicamry: are you back yet?

Auto response from MouseNg22: heep heep-hop heep-hop-anonomous??

mochicamry: the internet equivalent of phone-tag....

after finishing my immunology midterm i started walking back to the cross for the APSA officer meeting... as my mind usually does while i'm walking, i started to day dream... i remembered when i was a little kid there was this cartoon called the city of gold or the lost city of gold... anywho, what i do remember was that the protagonists could call this huge mechanical golden condor whenever they needed help. watching that show made me wish, i too had a golden condor... fast foward to today... why the heck would i want a condor? just realized that condors aren't actually as cool looking as i remembered, not like a bald eagle or a falcon... in fact, they are done right ugly birds... no hair on their necks and head because the they're carnivores so it's just bald and pink... looking for like vultures than anything else... you can golden condor to the list of weird things i wanted as a kid... in that list these is also a motor home, snoopy ice cone maker, and pool with a killer whale...

night time came and once again i was calling it a night... i could have sworn it was light out when i went into the library a couple of hours early... did you know japan is one of the only industrialized nations that doesn't have daylight savings time? as i stepped into the elevator i shuffled through the mail seeing if anything was for me. bill, wallstreet journal, politcal propaganda, and then two envelopes from UCLA School of Medicine. hmmm... earlier that i day i was wondering if i was going to get word from any of the med schools i had applied to. like divine intervention i had my answer in my hands. i eyed the envelopes trying to figure out what each could be. most likely one was that they had received my application, but the other i couldn't figure out what it was. either a "thank you for applying, but no thanks.." or "you've been selected to submit additional material".... i figured the it was most likely the first of the two as to not disappoint myself. i grabbed the letter opener from my desk and opened each piece of mail saving the UCLA letters for last. i thought delay the bad news as long as possible. i opened each envelope and selected one to read. my eyes scanned the document for any key phrases thanking me or wishing me luck with my other school choices... instead, it was a letter pleased to inform me that my application was moving furthur in the process and that i can get started on my secondary materials! woo hoo... so thus far i've received secondaries from my top med school choices... at least with the UC schools i know they really want to see what i have to offer versus USC which may just want me for my $90 application fee... i could definitely see myself as a bruin... i'm actually quite revealed, for the past week i was thinking about my possible contingency plans in case things with med school didn't work out and whether or not i should change the heading of my blog... at least now i can send off some my letter's of rec which i think are very strong and should help to get me noticed...