long long APSA meeting today... at first i wasn't sure if i wanted to run again for a position on the board, but after tonight's meeting I'm again excited and thrilled about a possible extra year with apsa... i think it's mainly because of the people running for exec. positions that is getting me motivated. looks to be a very dynamic group full of awesome ideas for the new school year.

got my first midterm back and wasn't really surprised at the score i got... i got the mean as i had suspected i would get... argh... stupid prof. doesn't know how to teach at all... but then again makes me wonder.. would i rather he be my progessor or my doctor? tough call to make.. it's deciding between the lesser of two evils... went out to eat after the meeting and had some pretty funny dining conversation... ahh yes, phil and his philip-logic... hahahahaha... something i've really missed being so busy with academics... feeling good though... back in the groove although it's not going to last very long... 5 weeks till graduation.

yet another successful night in the ER... the more time i spend in the hospital the more i see that this is really what i want to do with my life... just find it so amazing that the human body can indure so much and still come back kicking... right now i'm fascinated with stitches... tonight must have been the night for stitches... i got to see it done about 3 times tonight... i wonder at what point in my career will i stop wincing at the sight of that needle penetrating the skin... even when the doctor injects the lidocaine is seems like nothing... in fact she would inject the drug pretty liberally... poke the needle in here... then in here... and then deep in the cut... the last patient she applied stitches to she must have injected him about 10+ times during the procedure because the patient would go through the stuff like candy for some odd reason... watched in awe as the doctor took a big open gash and turned it into a nice little cut shut closed with 12 neat stitches... very very cool =)

how sad roomie's not home... =/... just wanted to say that my roomie, david, did an awesome job at VCN... played a very concvincing "traditional" vietnamese man.. although i still say they didn't wear abercrombie jeans and sweaters back in the 1950's... seriously though, all your hardwork paid off and i think you did an awesome job =) "that's my roomie!"...

finally! i'm really done...

can't believe it's only been a week since i finished my mcat... feels so long ago because right after mcats i started studying for my 3 midterms... i'm glad to report that i kick major ass on the last midterm... overall i think i scored well on 2 of the 3... that damn professor! now that i'm done hardcore studying for a while i can relax and play... woo hoo... roller coaster tycoon baby =)

two midterms down... one more to go... after reviewing my answers to my last midterm i think i went into the exam a bit over zealous, but i'm hoping for the best... if anything, i got my roomie to actually study more than 5 hours in advance of a test... so anywho, i was studying in the bio med library because it's just so much more conducive to studying.. and usually when i need to talk on the phone i go outside, but for some reason i thought i could be descrete enough to talk on my phone for a bit while in the library... some bobo head tried to shhhhh me... fuck off bitch i'm talking on the phone! such a hypocrite i am... i get all pissy when people talk on the phone in the library but when i do it it's alright... =P... but i'm special...

3 days

it's been 3 days post mcat and yet i'm still stuck in the library studying.. i envisioned being able to get out... have some fun.. play at the beach with the kids, stay up late, and just relax... none of that this week... 3 midterms in a row... it was such a beautiful day today too... end of the quarter barreling forward and yet the time i've managed to spend with my dear family has been steadily decreasing... in fact, feeling a bit dettached right now... =/... my eye twitch has some how returned to me too... definitely in need of a break... more than just one night... too bad we're out of 3 day weekends...

after i was done washing my car and changing it's oil i decided it might be nice to change the light bulbs as well... turns out when i put them back in i didn't align them correctly and so i have one headlight pointing to the extreme right of my car and another pointing to the upper left of my car... so basically i'm running on my foglights until i can either fix it myself or just head over to the toyota dealership so they can do it... stupid me.. =P

the after party

just finished my MCAT.. nothing i haven't seen before, in fact some of the material seemed a bit easier than i was expecting... right now my head is just reeling with the fact i'm done with it... don't need to be studying for it every night. what i'm i going to do now with all my free time? the weight of preparation has finally been lifted... all i have left to worry about now is the rest of my classes at UCSD and the results of the test which i won't get until the end of June... basically now I'll just be worrying about the result for the next 3 months... and preparing my med school apps... however, i will say i felt pretty confindent taking it... nothing new was discussed and pretty much everything i was asked i knew something about so at the least i was able to eliminate 2 of the answer choices... the essay portion was pretty dry as well... felt like i've written that essay about 50 times now... the only section i'm worried about if the physical sciences section because in the end i was literally just flying through the last questions to finish on time... wow... can't believe it's done. 6 months of studying came down to one test... a test, i might add, that will determine which school i plan to apply to... just hoping i won't have to take the test over again in august... but, i won't think about that because i'm done... plus i just know it's my destiny to become a doctor so that means only one thing right? a kick ass score... well... enough venting about about the test... it's over with and i won't think about it for another 3 months... going out for some celebratory drinking with the princeton review peeps... woo hoo... I'M DONE!!!!!!

Game Day

first step in becoming a docotor... the MCATs! nervous as hell... in fact, i don't know if its because the room is a bit chilly but i'm shivering... going to kick ass on this test though... finished doing a couple of passages and i'm now in the zone ... pray for blessings everyone... i'll be back to post my results after the exam..

status check

well, a bit late on stopping my study session... didn't stop until 1:30a... but managed to cover everything i deemed as important... i'm officially ready to battle the mcat... the first thing i did when i got home was to pack up all my books and notes for the test into a box and put it into the back of my closet... i wish i had a camera to take a picture of it all... if you've seen my study material you know what i'm talking about... so many books and notes i've taken... great feeling though when i put everything away... not scared, but nervous... although i've taken about 7 practice tests i'm just worried that there is something i missed... but then again can't totally be 100% prepared for it as well... just wanted to thank everyone for the love and support... it was so great to come home from studying and see the IMs... even got a card from Cat which was incredibly sweet... the kids are excited to for me to be done with mcats... awaiting my "triumphant" return to the family =) plan for tomorrow is just to relax and not stress over anything... planning to go out to eat, get some rest and then kick some major ass on this exam... it's the first step in many on my way to becoming a doctor... good times =)

the end is finally within view...

the first part of my journey into medicine is close at hand... mcats are this saturday and i plan to stop all my mcat studying by thursday midnight... only 2 days left =) i turned in a practice test today to be graded and when i got it back i got this overwhelming sense of satisfaction and confidence... finally after 5 practice exams i broke the double digit mark... just about close to my goal of 32 points... definitely not feeling stressed or even worried... just taking everything at my own pace and reviewing everything i need to brush up on...just trying to remain focused and not worry too much about the fact this test will decide my med school fate... like my instructor told me tonight... "feel confident in everything you've done thus far... nothing will be a surprise on the test... in fact, you'll be one of the most prepared students to take the test.." really excited actually about taking the test and getting it over with... more interested in getting my med school applications finished... definitely been a long and year of studying for this test... but in the end it'll be all worth it... incidently, studying for the test has really screwed up my sleeping patterns... i don't get to sleep till around 4, wake up around 9, crash and burn around 4, and then wake up again only to stay up till 4 the next morning... after this is all done; mcats and midterms... i'm going to reset my circadian rhythms with some melatonin...

first night in the ER turns out to be quite interesting... can't really go into details since there is that whole confidentiality thing going on... interestingly enough my first night in the ER coincided with the fact that Janet almost had her pinky toe severed and david, the roomie, had to get stitches because he bit through his bottom lip all the way through... well... mcat in less than a week.. actually more scared about my other classes than this test... don't want to fall behind in any of my classes... anywho, for everyone reading this... i'm officially disappearing from the world until thursday midnight... that's when i'll call off all my studying efforts for the mcat... so if anyone wants to grab a midnight boba on thursday call me up otherwise consider me missing... good luck with midterms everyone!

mcats in one week... moving into the new apartment in a little over a month... summer is but a mere 8 weeks away... someone must have put the world on fast foward... not going to finish studying for this test... not going to get into med school here... going to disappoint everyone and their mom... need some reprise... one more week... one more week... one more week... then med school apps... =/...

sitting on my wall are a pair of swords that i used during kendo practice... haven't been back to the dojo in 2 years... today i picked up the bokuoto, it's a heavy wooden sword used to practice kata, felt engerized just practicing some of the techniques... i miss going to the dojo to practice... i always felt so good after practice... such an awesome workout... i'm considering going back this fall... it'll be nice to actually start practicing kendo again... why did i stop in the first place? the first reason was because i had to leave for LA to work.. but when i got back it just became an inconvienence to go to practice every friday night... that was probably the killer... if they had practice any other night i'm sure i would have made the time, but friday nights are prime playtime for college students... just got that adrenaline rush when i picked up that sword... it was an amazing feeling... =) i feel like a little kid sometimes when it comes to the activities i pursue... i'll go all out for the first couple of weeks and then i'll hit a plataeu and say "that's enough"... need to just get over the hump... okie.. see, this is what happnes when you need to be studying, but instead you're blogging... ahhhhhh...

mcat next week... consider me missing in action until then... =)

xxstapeler68xx: here's some cool stuff u might want to read... (btw, nice buddy icon)
xxstapeler68xx: Medicine, the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existance.
--James Bryce
xxstapeler68xx: Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad, theology makes them sinful.
--Martin Luther (1483-1546)
xxstapeler68xx: Medical scientists are nice people, but you should not let them treat you.
--August Bier (1861-1949) German surgeon
xxstapeler68xx: Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.
--Voltaire [Fran‡ois Marie Arouet (1694-1778)]
xxstapeler68xx: ok
xxstapeler68xx: :-P
xxstapeler68xx: GOOD LUCK ON UR MCAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in 11 days... ;-))

-from one of my former residents at CTY

here's something funny... my roomie david writes on his away message the other night "more and more marshmallows are becoming a suitable dinner..." or something to that effect... aside from the fact that's just gross does he not realize i live with him? it's like living with the nsync and not getting backstage passes or being best friends with bill gates and having to pay for a copy of windows... hahaha...

the tide quickly changes...


with only 12 days left till mcats and midterms my stress level is slowly climbing up .. in fact, it's the little tiny things that are beginning to bug me... that's when you know you're getting stressed out... honestly, don't want to bother with the shit of finding a new place... but it's really not the biggest issue on my plate... merely decoration, the parsley if you will... and if i don't get it done then it's not getting done... on the brightside it's only 12 more days... after mcats, definitely going to go out and have a great big dinner with my family... can't wait to see my wife and kids again around the dinner table like ol' times =) definitely one more year of school is what i need... i need a real senior year.. one where i can slack off and play every night because i'm graduating... none of this studying till 3 crap... we'll see though... my plans tend to change whenever my mood does...

something wierd in the air

i dunno... just feels different... in a good way... wish i had a hammock so i could just soak it all in. =)

here's something i found on someone's AIM profile... just a little story for all you engineering majors...

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want!"
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want!"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
-from Anson

bleh... feel like shit right now... have aches, fever, and all stuffed up... i had to take my practice mcat like this... i was literally dying while i was taking the test... but now marks the final 2 week stretch... time to get cracking and really work my ass off to finish everything on time... still need to finish up the course material and stay on top of my regular classes... bleh... i hate when i'm sick and get the chills... if i take off my blanket i'll be freezing, but at the same time i'm just sweating underneath it all... not feeling well at all... feeling all ill and shit... not at all feeling like the normal me... too lazy to even cook for myself... i actually stayed on the couch, watched tv, and ordered a pizza... to quote steph ng "that is very unlike you..." yes indeed... could have been nicer to have the friends over, but alone time is nice too... i just one year from now i'll look back at all the the trivialities of my life right now and see that they were all worth it... really rethinking what i want to do with my life... is not sleeping, studying hardcore, and living off my parents for 4-6 more years something i really want to do? times like i this i'm really scared to think that all this stuff was a waste... that i could just as easily say fuck it and go straight into working for some biotech or research lab... i could easily just drop everything, graduate, and work and be happy... then again, i think about all the potential that i have and has yet to realized... there really is so much more i want to do... at first i thought medical research was out of the question, but now i'm seeing it as a possibility... quite interesting the changes that are occuring in my life right now as everything transitions... friends are graduating, my cousin getting married, people going to grad school, and so many other new and exciting things it's really amazing to think about... okie, i think i'm going to collapse on the keyboard now.. my left eye twitch has gotten progressively worse...got so worse during my practice mcat i had to hold it shut with my left hand while i was writing my essay... it may be some neurological disorder or could just be stress induced... great, just what i need... could my life get anymore complicated?

only 16 days left till the mcats... i'm not nervous, yet... we'll see how i am one week before the test... looks to be a pretty solid 3 weeks of studying not only for the test but for my other classes that have midterms right after the mcat... looks like i'll be dropping one of my classes since i don't think i can hang... i literally fell asleep 2 minutes into the class... plus if i can manage to pull at least a 3.5 this quarter i should be in good standings for med school...


decisions decisions decisions... should i take part in this year's grad banquet as a grad? or should i wait another year... or perhaps be in two grad banquets? i'm also debating whether or not i want to walk in this year's ceremony... hmmm... also, this weekend need to balance my time wisely... saturday i have a practice mcat then volunteering at the hospital from12a to 4a... a couple hours later i have my cousin's wedding reception and then i'm speeding back to campus to watch phil emcee fusion... when the heck i'm i going to find the time to study or sleep?

while taking a break i managed to discover that mary kate and ashley olsen have their very own game boy game... here is the synposis of it...

Rock the party right with Mary-Kate and Ashley
It's girls night out so hit the town dancin' with Mary-Kate and Ashley. You've got your fave friends and a packed dance floor waiting just for you. Look your finest in the freshest fashions. Select from different hairstyles, shirts, pants, shoes and accessories for the hippest look on the dance floor. Keep your dancer rockin' all night long by creating and saving your own mixes. Work the turntables old school style.

what i want to know is, how the hell do they know anything about working the turntables old school style? it's not like these girls are even old enough to go clubbing... watch out america, if we're not careful the olsen twins will someday rule the world... best now to crush them to save humanity!

this morning was my first stint as a volunteer in the ER... my orientation leader said that while i was volunteering i'd would go through many revelations about going into medicine... definitely considering my options after today... not to say that i still don't want to become a doctor... just now so many more things to consider than where i'll be going to med school... the practice of medicine isn't as romantic as i had anticipated, but definitely looking forward to seeing everything and learning... feeling kinda sick... so i'm going to lay down for a bit...

first day of school went without any hitches... really happy i only need to buy one book for this quarter... looks like i get to use some of my money that was supposed to be for books...anywho, time for a new phone... who would have thought my poor phone would've been forced to swim twice?