here's the latest in my quest for med school...

as every pre-med student knows volunteering is the best way to know if medicine is the right career choice... i had my volunteer interview today and despite the fact i'm incredibly busy with other obligations i made the choice to work in the ER... definitely the place to get the maximum exposure to medicine and emergency medicine at that since i'm looking into it... so what's the catch? well, since ER is such a populat volunteer distination i ended up with a pretty bad shift... i have the saturday midnight to 4 am shift... but you know what? i'm excited to be working in the ER and despite what anyone tells me i think i'm going to enjoy the rush and exposure to emergency medicine... seriously, i can't wait to get started... =)

talk about changes for the week... the weather has been crazy as well as my mood... things are never as bad as the seem or as good seems to be the mantra of the week... the midterm i thought would be easy ended up kicking my ass as well as everyone else who took it. the midterm i was dreading and spent the least amount of constructive studying ended up being quite bearable and "enjoyable" as my prof says... as for my cell it's back in order after a nite in the operating room...

well, for those of you who haven't heard the story of my cell phone drowning in the toilet here it is... monday night i'm about to use the bathroom when i check to see if i still have my phone on me... i pat the outside pocket of my sweatshirt to confirm that it's there... i lift up my sweater slightly and the little bugger pops out of my pocket and straight into the toilet... without thinking i plunge my hand into the toilet to get the phone... i look at the screen and see it's off... i begin my life saving techniques by removing the cover and the battery... i dry off the insides the best i could and take my phone to my desk to operate...almost like it was straight from ER... i'm seriously moving as i remove the screws and take out all the little bits and parts and dry them off... i lay them out on a tray and put them under a lamp to dry... after about 20 minutes of drying i put the phone back together again... i put the battery in and still nothing... time to defibrulate the sucker... so i plug my phone into the wall charger... still nothing... i try for a couple of miutes and realize it's no use... *sigh* pronounced time of death 1:38a... i took off the carbon fiber cover and replaced all the original equipment on it because i was planning on replacing it... kinda like when you die and they put you in your best suit or dress.. i guess i pronounced death a little prematurely though.. more like it was in a coma, when i got home from school my little phone was on... awwwww... i'm guessing this is what it feels like when you save someone's life... very nice feeling indeed =)

more and more i've noticed that my blogs have become a place for me to bitch and moan vs. anything really substantial... =/...

today has definitely not been a good day... =/ don't bother calling my cell it outta comission for the time being.. shit.

getting into med school is a biznitch... i read one thing and i think i actually have a shot... i read another thing and i feel as if i should start looking for a new career... so many times i think about whether i should've done things differently... but i definitely believe in fate and that if i wasn't intended to be a doctor God would've have stopped me long ago or at least sent me a sign... anywho, i've never been one to take rejection lightly and being the spoiled child that i am... i'm usually pretty persistant about getting the things that i want... this time though... i know all my whining and complaining won't do any good unless i get up and start working my ass off not that i haven't been already... my wife and kids can tell you that i've been pretty busy working on mcats and classes... *sigh* next week when the midterms have died down i'm going to pay another visit to my pre-med advisor and see what he has to say about my options...

"there are always back doors into med school"... hey, as long as i can get in, right?

the scratchy throat, the phelm, the cough... all signs that i may be coming down with a cold... worst time to get one... starting up the second wave of midterms this week... the AIM fast is going pretty well... i honestly don't have the urge to chat it up... the results may have been different if i decided to give it up for lent a couple of years back... should i sleep or finish studying? choices, choices, choices... as yes... the call of med school out shines my desire to rest... for all you non pre-med people be thankful for your sanity... special thanks to the family who alway manage to melt my stress away... =)

week 7

today is the official start of week 7.. can't believe this year is flying by so fast... it's only more of the same for me though... studying for mcats and midterms... i have 2 next week on the same day... i really don't know when i'll find the time to finish the newsletter either... however, it's one of the things in my life that i don't feel good until it's done... an issue of pride mostly.

the more and more i research med schools the more and more i find that perhaps the UC system isn't for me... their focus is on research where as my focus lies in clinical studies...but really beggers can't be choosers and right now i'm a begger... in the end it all boils down to cost... go to a UC med school which is very affordable or attend a private school which will end up costing me and my parents on the order of $100,000... ahhh yes... "it takes money to make money..." so very true philip.

xin nian kuai le

yesterday me and the family went to Jasmine to celebrate chinese new year along with (it seemed like) every other chinese family in san diego along with their white friends... =P me and kids managed to spot people we knew in the crowded restaurant during the lion dancers... one of the people working with the lion dancers looked really familiar and i thought he looked just like one of my favorite kids from CTY but only taller... as the lion dancers were making their way out of jasmine it turned out to be Alex! =) he's gotten so tall... it's funny just because you assume kids will stay the same size you late saw them... really nice to see that he's doing well... i was worried for a bit he had turned into some wannabe azn thug since his AIM profile is always claiming "AzN pRyDe!!!!" but luckily he's turned out alright... ended up getting a table with mayrin's mom and her thai girl friends... it was an overwhelming experience to eat with all these thai women... they had the table literally overflowing with food... everything was brought onto the table in pairs, like a noah's ark of dim sum! very nice though to spend time with family since i so rarely get the time to relax... this weekend has been all about relaxing... today i had a family party to celebrate my cousin's 17th b-day and later tonight i celebrated with my high school friend's 22nd b-day... *yawn* it's only 10 but i'm feeling so tired... maybe having that Corona wasn't such a good idea... i'm such a light weight most alcohol puts me right to sleep... aiya... still need to finish up an mcat chapter before i go to sleep... =/

while watching the opening ceremony of the olympics last friday they came to a point where they had native americans as part of the ceremony... they had 5 of the tribes native to utah perform... it was special in the fact that this was the first time ever these tribes have ever come together to perform and also it was symbolic of the nations of the world coming together for the olympics... what bugged me the most about the whole thing was the fact that it seemed like inviting them to perform was almost like commidifying them... to me, it seemed like an empty gesture... "we raped your women, took your land, and tried to get rid of your people by introducing disease... but please won't you perform your nifty native dances for us?" honestly what have we done to help these people? nothing really...in america we take special measures to ensure that racism, in theory, is non-exsistant and that our schools are an accurate representation of the population... although these native americans want to remain autonomous it's funny to see the US doing so little about the fact that so many native americans lack higher education... this is coming from a nation that prides itself on its foreign aid policies and yet can't seem to help it's own citizens... it's really quite sad the fact that the people who inhabited what is known as america have been reduced to casinos and tourists attractions... i was going through my medical college guide and while looking through the minority numbers i saw that it wasn't uncommon to see zeros for both native americans and blacks enrolled.. quite sad indeed...

feeling a bit detached from the rest of the world since i logged off AIM, but at the same time i feel quite at peace with myself... today i went home and instead of looking through everyone's away msgs i managed to finish up all my homework... actually as much as i miss the contact provided by AIM i've managed to rethink my plans for the future... hahahaha... kinda funny since it's really only been a day since i've logged off...

ash wednesday

traditionally for lent you give up something you enjoy for 40 days. this year i was going to do something really easy like candy or maybe video games, but i considered the fact that so many people in the world lack what i've been given and that it would be selfish of me to give up something i could easily forget... instead, thanks in great part to darrell's decision, i will be giving up AIM. honestly one of the toughest things i've given up for lent in a while. back in high school i was addicted to chatting and i remember after dinners the first thing i would do was log on and stay up talking to friends and strangers on IRC, AIM, and ICQ. although now AIM has become more of a study distraction for me it's still a central facet of my digitized life. looks like i'll be studying more at home since i won't be tempted to check who's on-line or read everyone's witty away msgs...

ever since i took my mol bio midterm i've been feeling really tired and uninspired to do any academic work... in one of physcology classes we learned that after performing any type of work there is usually a down time when the person wants to rest and not to anything... there is also a proportional relationship to the amount of work and amount of rest... looks like i did a shit load of work because i really don't feel studying at all... can't wait for the 3 day weekend though... get to sleep in, catch up with homework, play, and possibly go to disneyland... =)

just finished my mol bio midterm around noon time which now seems like it happened days ago... while i was at the bio department i decided to do some research on being a TA and realized that i had all the qualifications so i submitted an application... i'll find out around 8th week if i'll be a TA for one of the lower division bio classes... should be an interesting quarter if i make it as a TA... johns hopkins e-mailed me the other day and offered me a position as the health assistant for the summer... =) actually quite happy that i got the position... now i don't need to look for an internship for the summer... kinda scared though since this job i think requires a bit more responsibility on my behalf and i'll be on-call 24 hours a day in case of emergencies... either way it'll look great on my resume and show that i have clinic experience for med school... really sad that the ol' doheny crew won't be back... =( going to miss big fat american, ted-san, samsung, neena, alison, craig, mars, katrina, sirinya, the rest of the young student staff... i wonder what it's going to be like as an adminstrator this summer? won't be totally alone though a few notables will be returning with me which i know includes my fellow disneyland crewmember ian!... looks like it's turning out to be a pretty good week... can't wait for the weekend! anyone down for disneyland?

i know i always say i'm poor and that i don't have money... then i came to the realization that my outstanding debts are sucking me dry... it's crazy that i have credit card debt and i don't even work anymore... that's what happens when you lose the fear of charging things... when i first got my credit card i was afraid to use it becuase of the high interest rate... but afterwards it just became all too easy... aiyo... my resolution for the year is to wipe out all my credit card bills... problem is, when do i have the time to work? =/... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah =( okie time for me to file my taxes...

today we had a substitute teacher for out ochem section... hardly old enough to be a teacher though since he is only about as old as i am... but apparently he knows what he's talking about... he disclosed to us that he scored an awesome 42T on his mcat... the verbal, physical sciences, and biology sections of the test are 15 points each which means he scored perfect on two sections... the T is his essay score which is scored i believe on a scale of L to T with T being the highest... i didn't know if i should be enamoured with the guy for if i should hate him for being so smart... in addition to his high mcat score he also managed to pull a 4.0 from UCBerkeley... talk about over acheiver... he's now a first year at UCSD med which happens to be one of my top choices for med school... after class i was just compelled to work my ass of to get all my ish done... that includes the 4.0 for this quarter, possible internships for the summer, and of course a 36 on the mcat... competition is a great motivater. =)

thanks to physiology i can now explain to you how pain works... i actually learned there were 2 types of pain recepters... number 1 issues an almost immediate signal of pain to your brain.. ie. when you first stub your toe... number 2 sends lower intensity pain signals to your brain after the fact... ie. the throbbing pain you feel minutes after you stub your toe... or in my case, the thobbing pain is caused after you burn yourself with hot oil... .i was cooking dinner when i guess some condensation from my pan lid went into the hot oil causing it to splatter... actually got burned in two places on my arm... =/... i need some aloe vera now...

i told my parents today that i was going to stay another year... the response in general was good... further enforcing the fact that my parents trust my own judgement... however, i'm feeling a bit guilty now because my dad quit school in search of a job to pay for med school thinking i was going to go to med school this fall.. =/ i thought my parents knew that if anything i was staying one more quarter... *sigh* i feel horrible... guess it shows you can never not communicate enough with the parental units... if i wasn't feeling the pressure to get accepted into a UC med school before, now it's officially here... time to hit up my mcat books once again tonight...

i should be taking my practice mcat, but i woke up late.. =/ check out apparently this is who i would be if i were a final fantasy character.... i'm smart and hot! =P




Take the Final Fantasy X personality test here! by

enough of the melodramatics...

"It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own makings simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial "you" is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities ... You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved, or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems. "

decided it was time for a change... nothing big just something to change my scenery around... i rearranged my computer desk once again... this will make it the 3rd time since i've moved in... can't seem to maximize the amount of desk space so i can't study and work on my computer... seems like such a waste since the desk is so big... my alterior motive for rearranging my desk was to clean it up and to hopefully find 2 things i've discovered have gone missing... number one is my book to US med schools... it was my bible and now i can't seem to find it... =/ also medical school related, i can't seem to find my mcat practice test... this one is important because it is the actual mcat that was adminstered in 1993... otherwise i'm going to have to shell out somemore money to replace those things... sorry to keep updating this blog about the inane details of my life, but really like is all about the details, isn't it? i'd like to think so...

i feel as if i'm on the edge of a great big cliff and i'm unsure of whether or not i should take the plunge... everyone else seems ready... they all are jumping off with their arms spread open... but for some reason something is holding me back... maybe i need that reassurance it's okie to step back and not jump... or maybe i just need someone to push me off... either way i'm stuck on the edge of this cliff...=/... confused? talk to me and i'll enlighten you...