It seems every so often I go into these modes where I find it necessary to take a real hard and deep look onto myself, tonight is of those times.

lucid dreaming 101:
find a comfortable sleeping position
close your eyes and try not to think of anything as you slowly drift to sleep
if thoughts of the day come into your head try to remove them by making your mind a black slate
slow your breathing down and continue to keep your mind blank
falling asleep isn't actually a slow process, in fact if you're conditioned yourself well sleep should come over you within minutes of laying down.
when you fall asleep your REM sleep cycle begins
dreams will usually occur between level 4 (deep sleep) and level 2 (moderate sleep) thatabout 2 hours after falling asleep
as soon as you've become aware of your dream state try to remain calm, it's often overwhelming to realize you're in your dreams, but stay calm... if you notice youself drifting out of your dream state try looking at your hand or spinning around, it may sound silly but these techniques are proven to help you stay in your dream world. as soon as you've gotten your bearings explore your dream state... fly, run, call your friends, face your fears, or peform lude acts of debauchary anything is fair game in your dreams!

as some of you may already know i have a fascination with dreams and what they tell us. i don't know how many people have ever experienced a lucid dream, but it is seriously one of the most fun things I've learned to do in life. although i haven't perfected my technique it is something i highly recommend everyone should learn to do, esp. us college kids who hardly get enough sleep as it is, we should take advantage of our precious dream time! these are just a few tips to help you guys get started.

i originally wanted to discuss what was really going through my mind, but along the way I lost my train of thought. it's pretty sad that given the many opprotunites i have with my friends when I'm most eloquent and have the most things to share about myself i'm by myself. i take for granted so many times a day friends and family ask me "how are you doing?" my reply is always I'm "okay" and although i'm not shy i tend to hold things back not reveling too much of myself. why do you ask? i dunno why... a mutlitude of factors most likely... given the choice of director or actor i think deep down there's an actor inside of me, but to be behind the camera and still have my vision tangibly recorded is far more appealing. at least then if the movie sucked people tend to blame the actors and writers as opposed to the one directing the shots... and maybe that's why i tend not to talk too much about my personal life, the fear of ridicule or judgement is something i fear greatly... i notice sometimes when asked a question I'll think about the "right" answer to give... this is something that happens esp. with my parents and I know at this point in my life they're letting me be my own man, but i guess it's the kindergartener in me that tells me i shouldn't give them the whole truth... it's the mentality that as long as my parents are under the impression things are good then they won't worry... enough...

what was supposed to be short and cute has ended up eating into my sleepy time so i'll head off to bed now and feel better in the morning...=)

Happy Easter

at the present moment i'm feeling mixed emotions all at once. yesterday i just both my parents that i wanted to move out next year and to my surprise my dad was very supportive. he told me that i was old enough to make my own descisions and that if i thought moving out was the best thing I should go ahead and do it. i was honestly expecting him to put up a fight but to hear him say that he trusted me and that he knew i was ready really made me feel that i was making the right descision. hopefully i'll finalize my whole living situation with steph soon. i was really aiming for a single but listening to phil tell me to take a double for the umpteenth time made me consider doubling up so tonight i asked david tran if he was down. apparently if things work out, me and david will be roomies! =) while having easter lunch with my family i realized that as soon as i move out there is no turning back. it's my small step into the real world cuz i mean after i move out there's no returning back home to live. right now i'm filled with all these emotions.. i'm scared, thrilled, excited, and sad all at once and the only thing i can do to deal with these emotions is to let them flow through me overwise i feel as if i would just explode. it's really an overwhelming time for me but something i can't wait to experience...

with the end of the Lenten season the Fun Crew, whom i hadn't seen in forever (2 days), made a trip to get boba and kick it at Dave's with armando, david, tone, steph ng, ian, and baker... the fun crew tonight came to a pivotal descision that this quarter we will all be buckling down and studying/working our collective asses off... best of luck to my silly soc majors...wait i should also add that phil has officially changed his major of choice to usp in order to better his ranking amongst our little fun crew competetion... anywho, we'll see how long it takes before we start to see the signs of withdrawl symptoms from not seeing each other on a daily basis... my daily zen thought of the day is life is painful, suffering is optional. discuss amongst yourself =)

I want candy!

i can finally eat candy! lent officially ended at 12 noon today i can't wait to go to Sweet Factory. i just realized that i have candy in my car.. yes! =) today is definately good.

things i'm thankful for...

1) family

2) good friends

3) text messaging

4) Mah Jong

5) California Sun

Props out to...
Mayrin for winning Marshall Senior Senator by an incredible margin of only7 votes! woo hoo... i just got back home from her victory celebration... =) well this weekend i vow to stay in with my family this easter weekend no matter what my friends say to me. right now my thoughts are incoherent so i'll continue this blog when i wake up in a couple of hours. g'nite

Mayrin is the bomb... and Steph too!

hanging out with the Fun Crew has helped me realize i should always go for the road more fun! in other redge related news, i'm sick and need to come up with some cool dance routine ideas for grad banquet... check out my partner in crime's blog Indiana Phil
new restaurant today! peking restaurant in North Park... it's cheap and good! definately beats out Sam Woo, granted that's not all too hard to do ...

Fusion

went to MASA and 220's 2001 Fusion Hip-Hop Dance competetion which was pretty tite... I have a renewed love of hip-hop and can't wait to get started on a routine for APSA's grad banquet... anywho, i just finished writing up my pre-lab and now i can get at least 4 hours of sleep tonight... i vow to stay more academically focused this quarter; gotta study more and play less... *yawn* anywho, i'm super tired right now... if you all need stress relief come with me and mayrin to hip-hop dance class today at rimac, you can still register for the class i think... *yawn* alrighty my body is telling me to get some much needed rest... oyasumi nasai minnasan!

PERMzookie anyone?


so much for trying to get any real work done yesterday... you'd think i'd be able to get some work done with only one class in the morning, but of course that's never the case when yer part of the fun crew. We, mayrin and i, found a new restaurant on Convoy called Tofu House which was pretty good. I highly recommend it if you like Korean food, but you should go with at least someone who speaks Korean that way they give you more side dishes.. =P` of course my day wouldn't be complete if i didn't kick it with my partner in crime Phil. We met up with Armando, Emiko, and Michelle at fashion valley to do a little shopping and find an AT&T wireless place so Phil could complain about the fucked up service they provide. You should all call Phil's cell phone just to hear his voicemail, it pretty damn funny. Anywho, we went to UTC and found out they don't even have a wireless store at UTC anymore so pretty much Phil is screwed until he can a hold of the company. I need a nap... btw, Mah Jong is one hella fun game! =D check out the mah jong international tournament live from Taipei, Taiwan on ESPN2... hahahaha

I'm back together...

I now see why I can never keep a journal... i'm just too damn lazy to update the sucker. Anywho, I'll try to keep up as best I can. So what's happened since Monday? hmm... well I went to watch the free preview of Josie and Pusscats at Horton Plaza with Makasama-san, Panya-Kun, David, Mayrin, Phil, Armando, Katherine, Mikey, Michelle, Steph, Tone, and Ian. (i think that's all of them) anywho, that whole movie was just one big commercial for Coke and Target, there was just mad product placement going on. Let me tell you this much, those songs they played during the movie were pretty darn catchy though... do i smell dance routine? hahahaha

anywho, today was an alright day. i didn't do any homework and went out to dinner with agnes at Seoul BBQ. I forgot how expensive that place was... it was definately worth it though. we finished everything on our table! =) i got more pictures from spring break courtesy of Rosie. you can check them out on my homepage when i finally decide to sit down and write some code for it.

I can't describe it...

right now it's about 3:30 in the morning, i can't seem to fall asleep, and I don't really know the reason why. i apologize for the bad entry today, my thought are as incoherent as my typing... I just arrived home at about 3 this morning after spending some time with my Fun Crew. Tonight I really didn't feel like spending the night although Mayrin did say she was going to kick me out. =P` But seriously, even if she hadn't said that I felt something strange that night. I really can't describe what I'm feeling right now. Maybe its because we've all just returned from awesome spring breaks, but right now I'm just not feeling up to par. (By the way, I'll finish up my road trip journal soon...) Driving home on sunday morning I thought I was ready to go back to school and for most of the day I was feeling great. It really wasn't until I got home that I felt something wrong. It's one of those feelings you really can't place your finger on but you know its there. Its almost a deep sense I despair I'm feeling at the moment that's compeling me to type instead of sleep. I have this urgency to do something but I have nothing to work on. *sigh* this is really starting to bug me... the fact I'm feeling depressed for no apparent reason... right now my mind is trying to think of logical reasons as to why I'm feeling this way. for about 10 minutes i questioned my whole outlook on life. beginning of last quarter i realized how short life, college life namely, was so short... in addition, i came to the conclusion that i should be playing hard as well as studying hard. sadly, last quarter my playing outdid my studying. but really dropping my two classes hardly phased me, esp. with the support of friends telling me it was alright... i thought to myself "dude, don't even worry about it... you've never dropped courses before.. and i mean, everyone is entitled to a bad quarter, right?" anyways, i guess with the start of a new quarter i've seen that i need to study more... a lot more... already a handful of friends are already gearing up to take their MCATs while i still think about what i want to do for the weekend. i feel as if i'm not doing enough in terms of academics.... i mean, its great to be able to play and stuff but seriously, not to spite phil and mayrin, I'm not a soc major and I can't expect myself to be able to play like a soc-major and receive the grades of a pre-med student... i think that's what it all boils down to at the moment...*sigh* at the moment i'm taking a hard and honest look at my future and seeing that the work that needs to be done isn't getting done... it's this introspection, i think, is what is making me so damn depressed... anywho, its almost 4in the morning and i feel a little better... perhaps a little nap and a talk with a friend later today will help...