wifey on the news
on a news report about ppl going to tahoe for new years...
reporter : "how do you plan to spend your new years?"
stephanie: "with lots of alcohol..."
geez steph, i didn't realize you loved alcohol so much... hahahaha... why is it you never drink with the family, huh? anywho, Happy New Years everybody and be sure to live it up stephanie style "with lots of alcohol" or not... peace on earth and good will toward men...
Monday, December 31, 2001
Happy New Year's Eve
originally the plan for new years was going up to irvine to celebrate with hai, but apparently her roommates had a different plan in mind. instead of staying in irvine they've decided to head down in my direction to party in the gaslamp quarter in downtown san diego. guess it works out for the best considering that sonnier told me tonight he didn't think he would be able to make it up with me. in addition to all my cousins were giving me a hard time for apparently trying to ditch them again at another family function. like mayrin allows says "everything happens for a reason"... the fates must be telling me that this new years i should spend it with family.
just finished watching Harry Potter and now i'm really interested in reading the books... if the movie is similar to book, as i've heard from the critics, i can see why the books are so popular amongst kids. hopefully i'll get to finish it before school starts up again. unlike my dear friend angeline to who managed to get hooked on the series right in the middle of finals week. =P hahaha...
originally the plan for new years was going up to irvine to celebrate with hai, but apparently her roommates had a different plan in mind. instead of staying in irvine they've decided to head down in my direction to party in the gaslamp quarter in downtown san diego. guess it works out for the best considering that sonnier told me tonight he didn't think he would be able to make it up with me. in addition to all my cousins were giving me a hard time for apparently trying to ditch them again at another family function. like mayrin allows says "everything happens for a reason"... the fates must be telling me that this new years i should spend it with family.
just finished watching Harry Potter and now i'm really interested in reading the books... if the movie is similar to book, as i've heard from the critics, i can see why the books are so popular amongst kids. hopefully i'll get to finish it before school starts up again. unlike my dear friend angeline to who managed to get hooked on the series right in the middle of finals week. =P hahaha...
Sunday, December 30, 2001
last night i went clubbing at E Street Alley with my good friends Hazel, Sonnier, Hai, and Wendy... it's been the first time i've been clubbing since turning 21 in october. the atmoshpere and club in general was better than i was expecting considering the clubs i've been to in san diego were all pretty ghetto and booty... so it was ncie to be in a club was as actually a club versus to some of the holes-in-the-walls i've been to. one thing i noticed immediately while dancing is that it sucks being a guy in a club without anyone to dance with... further emphasizes the fact that i really don't have the balls to go up to girls and just ask them to dance. case in point, my friend hazel and wendy seemed to be attracting these fobby guys throughout the night. there was one in particular that seemed to not get the hint they weren't interested in dancing with him. at first he was standing off to the side just scanning the floor to see if there were any single girls dancing and then spotting hazel and wendy dancing together he decided to make his move. which is one thing i really don't get... do girls really like it when a stranger comes up behind them and starts freaking them? because apparently a lot of guys assume so. so yeah, this fobby girl in a red silk shirt decides to start dancing behind wendy. my friend hazel starts laughing out loud and pulls wendy away from this guy and they try dancing a little farther away from the guy. this obviously means my friend hazel wanted to dance with him so he decided to start freaking her as well... being the polite girl she is hazel decided to make a run for the bathroom... anywho, if i were that guy i think that would be my clue to leave them alone... however, that guy just would not leave them alone throughout the night... about every 30 minutes he would find our group and try to dance with one of the single girls... i have to give that guy some credit for being persistant... but yeah, definitely the clubbing scene isn't for me unless i have someone to dance with... just made me realize i have this insane fear of rejection...hmmmm... maybe i should look into an arranged marriage =)
Saturday, December 29, 2001
just finished rendering my trip to disneyland from the summer... the editting to film ratio is crazy... i worked for about 4 hours to to produce less than 10 minutes of footage... it was worth it though, now that it's digital it will never fade in quality... *yawn*... should i go clubbing tonight still or what? i'm in need of a power nap...
where's school?
sitting at my desk i've come to realize i really want school to be here already... granted having this break is great, but without a job or anything else constructive to do for the time being i'm stuck being a bum at home. i have finally gotten around to being the filipino spielburg with my video camera and i have a couple of projects i'm working... so much for shooting my mah jong movie over winter break... argh... anywho, calling all screenwriters, actors, and actresses! i'm currently looking for people to help me put together a short, around 10 min, film about mah jong... i'm looking for it to be pretty funny so if any of you have ideas pls feel free to submit them... i was thinking of maybe doing a spoof on the E! True Hollywood Stories and do one on my mah jong crew, the Triple K... still need script ideas though... hopefully i can get this project done before i graduate...
sitting at my desk i've come to realize i really want school to be here already... granted having this break is great, but without a job or anything else constructive to do for the time being i'm stuck being a bum at home. i have finally gotten around to being the filipino spielburg with my video camera and i have a couple of projects i'm working... so much for shooting my mah jong movie over winter break... argh... anywho, calling all screenwriters, actors, and actresses! i'm currently looking for people to help me put together a short, around 10 min, film about mah jong... i'm looking for it to be pretty funny so if any of you have ideas pls feel free to submit them... i was thinking of maybe doing a spoof on the E! True Hollywood Stories and do one on my mah jong crew, the Triple K... still need script ideas though... hopefully i can get this project done before i graduate...
well, i finally finished a couple of things i've been meaning to do over break... i finally finished editting my CTY videos from the summer... i just installed the new windows xp and so now it's a lot easier to work with the editting software... the computer doesn't crash every 15 minutes like it used to. watching the video brought back such wonderful memories of the summer... i was motivated enough to fill out the returner application for this summer although it's unlikely i'll have to time to come back. it's really about time i leave the never never land of CTY. really hard to explain what goes on during the summer... something you just have to experience because it honestly goes beyond just being a camp counselor...
while i was christmas shopping i ran into one of my good friends from high school... turns out he's transferring over to a school in kansas to play football... perhaps the funniest part about running into him was seeing where he works. where do you think you'd find a guy with a scholarship to play football work? at sport chalet, GNC, or maybe 24 hour fitness? he actually works in sephora... yeah that's right... the perfume, colonge, and make-up store... nevertheless, he is still the tall and dorky guy i remember from high school... best of luck to you Andrew!
anywho, trying to live it up for the rest of vacation... needless to say this coming year is really going to test me... the cable guy finally cut the cable while i was out... i already miss not having the extended cable, but considering i'll hardly be home to watch it next quarter i could really care less about it... besides i can always go over to either of my family's homes to watch some tv if i desired... *yawn* i shouldn't have taken that nap...i'm finally getting sleepy at 3 in the morning... need to work on this sleep cycle thing... going clubbing tomorrow which should be lots of fun! woo hoo! =)
while i was christmas shopping i ran into one of my good friends from high school... turns out he's transferring over to a school in kansas to play football... perhaps the funniest part about running into him was seeing where he works. where do you think you'd find a guy with a scholarship to play football work? at sport chalet, GNC, or maybe 24 hour fitness? he actually works in sephora... yeah that's right... the perfume, colonge, and make-up store... nevertheless, he is still the tall and dorky guy i remember from high school... best of luck to you Andrew!
anywho, trying to live it up for the rest of vacation... needless to say this coming year is really going to test me... the cable guy finally cut the cable while i was out... i already miss not having the extended cable, but considering i'll hardly be home to watch it next quarter i could really care less about it... besides i can always go over to either of my family's homes to watch some tv if i desired... *yawn* i shouldn't have taken that nap...i'm finally getting sleepy at 3 in the morning... need to work on this sleep cycle thing... going clubbing tomorrow which should be lots of fun! woo hoo! =)
Thursday, December 27, 2001
back at home
back in the apartment to finally sleep in my own bed. when i moved out of the house my little brother moved into my room thus leaving me with no bed when i come home to spend the night...but it's all good... it's nice to fall asleep in front of the tv... a leisurely activity i don't get to do during the quarter all too often...christmas night i stayed up late in front of the the big screen tv and just watched tv till the early morning hours... even got to watch some episodes of i love lucy which i haven't watched since the summer... tonight i'll be sleeping my own bed... decided to come back to the apartment to finish some stuff with the computer and get a little bit of mcat stuff outta the way... unfortunately, i left my mcat books and tooth brush at home... =/ had to brush my teeth with my finger and ended up just playing around in the apartment... despite the relaxing atmosphere of being by myself in the apartment, it's soooooo lonely without anyone to talk to... come home now roomies! i miss you!!!! luckily for me though i'll always have phil and mayrin around to keep me company. in fact, when i was about to call it a night, phil called and stopped by the apartment on his way back from his family trip to las vegas...
while i was thinking about how shitty this coming quarter is going to be i decided to start documenting my madness as a pre-med student... i've started a new blog totally devoted to my academic struggles, accomplishments and the craziness which will consume my life... check out my 5 year plan..
anywho, tomorrow going off to julian to play in the snow, eat apple pies, and just relax with friends... =)
back in the apartment to finally sleep in my own bed. when i moved out of the house my little brother moved into my room thus leaving me with no bed when i come home to spend the night...but it's all good... it's nice to fall asleep in front of the tv... a leisurely activity i don't get to do during the quarter all too often...christmas night i stayed up late in front of the the big screen tv and just watched tv till the early morning hours... even got to watch some episodes of i love lucy which i haven't watched since the summer... tonight i'll be sleeping my own bed... decided to come back to the apartment to finish some stuff with the computer and get a little bit of mcat stuff outta the way... unfortunately, i left my mcat books and tooth brush at home... =/ had to brush my teeth with my finger and ended up just playing around in the apartment... despite the relaxing atmosphere of being by myself in the apartment, it's soooooo lonely without anyone to talk to... come home now roomies! i miss you!!!! luckily for me though i'll always have phil and mayrin around to keep me company. in fact, when i was about to call it a night, phil called and stopped by the apartment on his way back from his family trip to las vegas...
while i was thinking about how shitty this coming quarter is going to be i decided to start documenting my madness as a pre-med student... i've started a new blog totally devoted to my academic struggles, accomplishments and the craziness which will consume my life... check out my 5 year plan..
anywho, tomorrow going off to julian to play in the snow, eat apple pies, and just relax with friends... =)
Tuesday, December 25, 2001
Merry Christmas
christmas is upon us now and after weeks of anticipation it's finally arrived! my family traditionally celebrates on christmas eve with a big family party and midnight mass and afterwards opening the gifts! this year was a little different in lots of respects. probably the most notable it that we don't have a christmas tree... when we first moved to the united states my mom and dad invested in a fake plastic tree. being young and naive i thought our tree was awesome; it was tall, majestic, and beautiful. i remember getting very excited and giddy when my dad would take the box down from the attic and we'd all hep decorate the tree. we'd take out all my mom's favorite ornaments like the bushels of fake apples and the ornate glass balls with glitter and the old clay ornaments me and my little brother made in elementary school. but as the years went on though the tree seemed to be growing smaller and not as pleasing as a real tree. by 9th grade i told my parents that our old ratty christmas tree needed to be donated to the smithsonian because it was so old and antiquated. well two years ago my dad donated our old very fake looking christmas tree to his fraternity where it enjoys it's new life as the lodge's christmas tree. so why not just buy a new christmas tree? well, the main reason we no longer have a christmas tree is because we honestly don't have anymore room for it... my house is literally filled with people and furniture which really no more room for anything new... yeah, it's sad not having a christmas tree to put all the presents under, but nevertheless christmas is always great with family!
christmas is upon us now and after weeks of anticipation it's finally arrived! my family traditionally celebrates on christmas eve with a big family party and midnight mass and afterwards opening the gifts! this year was a little different in lots of respects. probably the most notable it that we don't have a christmas tree... when we first moved to the united states my mom and dad invested in a fake plastic tree. being young and naive i thought our tree was awesome; it was tall, majestic, and beautiful. i remember getting very excited and giddy when my dad would take the box down from the attic and we'd all hep decorate the tree. we'd take out all my mom's favorite ornaments like the bushels of fake apples and the ornate glass balls with glitter and the old clay ornaments me and my little brother made in elementary school. but as the years went on though the tree seemed to be growing smaller and not as pleasing as a real tree. by 9th grade i told my parents that our old ratty christmas tree needed to be donated to the smithsonian because it was so old and antiquated. well two years ago my dad donated our old very fake looking christmas tree to his fraternity where it enjoys it's new life as the lodge's christmas tree. so why not just buy a new christmas tree? well, the main reason we no longer have a christmas tree is because we honestly don't have anymore room for it... my house is literally filled with people and furniture which really no more room for anything new... yeah, it's sad not having a christmas tree to put all the presents under, but nevertheless christmas is always great with family!
Saturday, December 22, 2001
morning sunshines! actually it's already 5pm but i just woke up from a very great nap... i usually dream the most vivid during naps and this session was no exception...
i was living in an apartment in la mesa with a couple of strangers when we can to the realization that someone was out to kill us... our room (mine and david's) in the la mesa apart was different yet familiar... you know what i mean... but the one thing that stood out from it was the fact the my swords were hanging just they are in my room... anywho, the reason we when someone was out to kill us was because someone had actually moved my swords in an attempt to steal on of them... like in the game Perfect Dark i waiting in the room for the killer to strike. i had one sword in each hand and stood with the perfect kata stance.... a man walks in and i pound him with my sword until it cracks over his head... then i realize it was someone else, not the killer... perhaps this means i shouldn't run to conclusions so easily...
dream number two takes place in a restaurant with a bunch of friends... the most striking part of this dream was that my friend Sonnier was wearing a cowboy hat, a white shoulder length wig, and had only one purple contact in his eye he looked exactly like a member of the korean group H.O.T. which is a group i know sonnier doesn't like very much... the cowboy hat part is probably due to the fact the last time i was talking to him he was telling me how his hip-hop dance group wants everyone to dress up cowboy and that cowboy hats are hella expensive... anywho, enough dream analysis off to finish christmas shopping i think i have the perfect gift in mind for my roomie...
i was living in an apartment in la mesa with a couple of strangers when we can to the realization that someone was out to kill us... our room (mine and david's) in the la mesa apart was different yet familiar... you know what i mean... but the one thing that stood out from it was the fact the my swords were hanging just they are in my room... anywho, the reason we when someone was out to kill us was because someone had actually moved my swords in an attempt to steal on of them... like in the game Perfect Dark i waiting in the room for the killer to strike. i had one sword in each hand and stood with the perfect kata stance.... a man walks in and i pound him with my sword until it cracks over his head... then i realize it was someone else, not the killer... perhaps this means i shouldn't run to conclusions so easily...
dream number two takes place in a restaurant with a bunch of friends... the most striking part of this dream was that my friend Sonnier was wearing a cowboy hat, a white shoulder length wig, and had only one purple contact in his eye he looked exactly like a member of the korean group H.O.T. which is a group i know sonnier doesn't like very much... the cowboy hat part is probably due to the fact the last time i was talking to him he was telling me how his hip-hop dance group wants everyone to dress up cowboy and that cowboy hats are hella expensive... anywho, enough dream analysis off to finish christmas shopping i think i have the perfect gift in mind for my roomie...
right now i'm just taking a lunch break before i go out for another shopping excursion... one more person left on my list =) i went out to all the little stores in clairemont in hopes of finding the perfect gift but to no avail... i'm actually pretty proud of the fact that i didn't buy anything for myself while christmas shopping... i was so tempted to get a new camera and mini disc player... luckily all the clerks were busy because if someone was there to help me i'm sure that i'd be enjoying my brand new sony minidisc player...
day two on my own and the apt is so lonely knowing that no one will be coming home tonight... but i still don't want to go back home... i'd rather postpone the drama with my family as soon as possible... although ever since i've moved out my parents have gotten a lot more bearable... anywho, cooking for myself has reaffirmed my belief that eating is definitely a social activity... cooking for one is also not as fun as cooking for my friends and roomies... you'd think with me being on vacation i'd have plenty of time to get everything i want done... where does all the time go? granted sleeping in till 2pm doesn't help my situation out... haven't been able to study for the mcats like i wanted to or visit the gym everyday like i said... guess i'm stuck with my belly... =P with everybody gone i've decided to move the tv into my room which means now the only rooms i walk into are the kitchen and boy's room... it's elevated my plane of laziness.. i can now play on the computer, eat, and watch tv all in the same room now! woo hoo... i'm trying to enjoy this as much as possible considering the next quarter is going to be tough... even more tough than i had originally antcipated.. for once in my life i'm seriously scared shitless about school this coming quarter... i don't want to hear about anyone's "crappy" schedule because i doubt they can compare to school 7 days a week... well, off to enjoy my vacation to the fullest... Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
day two on my own and the apt is so lonely knowing that no one will be coming home tonight... but i still don't want to go back home... i'd rather postpone the drama with my family as soon as possible... although ever since i've moved out my parents have gotten a lot more bearable... anywho, cooking for myself has reaffirmed my belief that eating is definitely a social activity... cooking for one is also not as fun as cooking for my friends and roomies... you'd think with me being on vacation i'd have plenty of time to get everything i want done... where does all the time go? granted sleeping in till 2pm doesn't help my situation out... haven't been able to study for the mcats like i wanted to or visit the gym everyday like i said... guess i'm stuck with my belly... =P with everybody gone i've decided to move the tv into my room which means now the only rooms i walk into are the kitchen and boy's room... it's elevated my plane of laziness.. i can now play on the computer, eat, and watch tv all in the same room now! woo hoo... i'm trying to enjoy this as much as possible considering the next quarter is going to be tough... even more tough than i had originally antcipated.. for once in my life i'm seriously scared shitless about school this coming quarter... i don't want to hear about anyone's "crappy" schedule because i doubt they can compare to school 7 days a week... well, off to enjoy my vacation to the fullest... Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Friday, December 21, 2001
Lucky Christmas
when i come home to visit i can expect that somethings have changed or that my family has added something or bought something new, but this week i was totally surprised to find a brand new addition to the family... no, i don't have a brand new little brother or sister... but a brand new pet... well, not pet technically... actually i dunno how you'd describe it but we now have a resident bunny living on our lawn. my family named the bunny Lucky because the little guy was lucky enough to live after a very brutal attack. although we don't really know what happened, we're assuming a dog attacked him, the right side of Lucky's head is totally scarred and in fact was biten straight to the skull. he's actually missing a big chunk of muscle starting from his eye down close to his nose. at first i thought it was so sad to look at the little guy with half his face nearly destroyed... in fact, when i little brother went to pet him for the first time he jumped back because from his left side he looks totally normal... he's like the phantom of the opera with his face horribly misfigured that when revealed scares you at first, but afterwards you look past it... he seems quite content hopping on our lawn and munching on my mom's miniture roses. there's something inherently beautiful in this little black bunny... from one side you'd never be able to tell that he was attacked and from another you can see his scarred body and yet he lives his life to the fullest enjoying everything that life has to offer him... a lesson we should all take note of.
when i come home to visit i can expect that somethings have changed or that my family has added something or bought something new, but this week i was totally surprised to find a brand new addition to the family... no, i don't have a brand new little brother or sister... but a brand new pet... well, not pet technically... actually i dunno how you'd describe it but we now have a resident bunny living on our lawn. my family named the bunny Lucky because the little guy was lucky enough to live after a very brutal attack. although we don't really know what happened, we're assuming a dog attacked him, the right side of Lucky's head is totally scarred and in fact was biten straight to the skull. he's actually missing a big chunk of muscle starting from his eye down close to his nose. at first i thought it was so sad to look at the little guy with half his face nearly destroyed... in fact, when i little brother went to pet him for the first time he jumped back because from his left side he looks totally normal... he's like the phantom of the opera with his face horribly misfigured that when revealed scares you at first, but afterwards you look past it... he seems quite content hopping on our lawn and munching on my mom's miniture roses. there's something inherently beautiful in this little black bunny... from one side you'd never be able to tell that he was attacked and from another you can see his scarred body and yet he lives his life to the fullest enjoying everything that life has to offer him... a lesson we should all take note of.
Thursday, December 20, 2001
new year's cheers and jeers
the apartment is lonesome and quiet tonight... i'm the only one left in the apartment this winter break. david is back at home home doing double time at A&F and Banana Republic, Jas is also home in LA, and steph who is still in San Diego is back home home with her moms. the coming of 2002 will definitely bring about some changes, some good and some not so good...
so as i looked into steph and jas's room and i saw all of steph's walls bare and boxes packed it made me realize the short time we both shared together. it made me realize what a great friend i'll be losing to new zealand. so many good times and yet so many more to experience with steph it's hard to believe that she'll be moving out this weekend. i dunno i really can't express into words properly how much i'm gonig to miss you roomie... really don't know what more to say but i really wish i could've spent more time with you! if we could relive the summer again i would... roomie dinners, working out, and long chats...*sigh*... you definitely will be missed...
the apartment is lonesome and quiet tonight... i'm the only one left in the apartment this winter break. david is back at home home doing double time at A&F and Banana Republic, Jas is also home in LA, and steph who is still in San Diego is back home home with her moms. the coming of 2002 will definitely bring about some changes, some good and some not so good...
so as i looked into steph and jas's room and i saw all of steph's walls bare and boxes packed it made me realize the short time we both shared together. it made me realize what a great friend i'll be losing to new zealand. so many good times and yet so many more to experience with steph it's hard to believe that she'll be moving out this weekend. i dunno i really can't express into words properly how much i'm gonig to miss you roomie... really don't know what more to say but i really wish i could've spent more time with you! if we could relive the summer again i would... roomie dinners, working out, and long chats...*sigh*... you definitely will be missed...
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
Monday, December 17, 2001
untitled
i did manage to fall asleep at a decent hour tonight, around 12 midnight... at about 3:45 am was when i woke up though... my body is still trying to get used to sleeping early and sleeping throughout the whole night... i kinda feel like an infant being up after only about 4 hours of sleep... to my surprise as i woke up i found that i roomie steph had left me my christmas presents! woo hoo... my friends know me so well it's almost cliche.. she got me a mini zen rock garden and bonsai kit. thanks roomie! =D the presents are also partly the reason i couldn't fall back asleep. i went to go get a drink of water when i found them on my desk and as i was laying there in bed i just couldn't stop thinking about how i wanted to get started on the bonsai tree. hahahaha..yeah yeah, i'm a dork... anywho, turns out it'll take about a week of waiting before the seeds will even be ready for me to put into the plant. didn't realize how much time it took to raise a bonsai tree.. especially since this particular tree is advertised as being a mini-tree, you'd think it would be ready to go... hopefully the tree will provide me with some much needed stress relief this coming school year... . i also have a gift from hai which i was instructed not to open but i'm really tempted to see what she got me... after shaking it i think it's a bottle of cologne, but i'm not sure which one... i really just want to take a peek and look... i'm really horrible at this waiting for christmas thing... that's the danger in giving me my gift and telling me not to open it until christmas... i have yet to develope the patience to wait... hence the reason my credit card bill is so high... i need that instant gratification or at least if i can't open it know what it is i'm getting... *yawn* okie getting tried again... i'll try to get back to sleep...
i did manage to fall asleep at a decent hour tonight, around 12 midnight... at about 3:45 am was when i woke up though... my body is still trying to get used to sleeping early and sleeping throughout the whole night... i kinda feel like an infant being up after only about 4 hours of sleep... to my surprise as i woke up i found that i roomie steph had left me my christmas presents! woo hoo... my friends know me so well it's almost cliche.. she got me a mini zen rock garden and bonsai kit. thanks roomie! =D the presents are also partly the reason i couldn't fall back asleep. i went to go get a drink of water when i found them on my desk and as i was laying there in bed i just couldn't stop thinking about how i wanted to get started on the bonsai tree. hahahaha..yeah yeah, i'm a dork... anywho, turns out it'll take about a week of waiting before the seeds will even be ready for me to put into the plant. didn't realize how much time it took to raise a bonsai tree.. especially since this particular tree is advertised as being a mini-tree, you'd think it would be ready to go... hopefully the tree will provide me with some much needed stress relief this coming school year... . i also have a gift from hai which i was instructed not to open but i'm really tempted to see what she got me... after shaking it i think it's a bottle of cologne, but i'm not sure which one... i really just want to take a peek and look... i'm really horrible at this waiting for christmas thing... that's the danger in giving me my gift and telling me not to open it until christmas... i have yet to develope the patience to wait... hence the reason my credit card bill is so high... i need that instant gratification or at least if i can't open it know what it is i'm getting... *yawn* okie getting tried again... i'll try to get back to sleep...
Saturday, December 15, 2001
the doctor speaks
just something about reading other pople's blogs gives me the inspiration to blog myself. well, this blog is in regards to the ongoing debate started amongst phil, stef... and now david ... basically steph and david are arguing against the use of medicine to treat their illnesses. although i'm not a doctor (yet) i still feel i have the obligation to provide my view on this...
none of your over-the-counter flu, cold, cough medications are supposed to provide you with 100% relief or even cure you for that matter... they are simply there to lessen the severity of your illness for the time the medicine is in your system. this merely gives your body a chance to fight the off the infection. biologically, steph and david may have good immune systems and i'll let the two slide without taking medicine for their cold or flu because honestly the only thing they can really do is treat the individual symptoms like coughing, aches, or fever and sweat it out... however i really can't advocate the this "no medicine for me view"... i defy either of them to try and fight a strep throat or bronchitis infection without the aid of medicine...we're also at our peak physical state which means we will get sick less often and recover faster because our immune system is more able to fight off infections... but by not finishing off your antibiotics you're providing that window of antiobiotic resistance to the bacteria that made you sick in the first place. the problem i have with that is although you may not have gotten sick from that bacteria, but you can pass on those antibiotic resistant bugs to someone else making making them sick with a strain of bacteria resistant to medicine...making it harder to treat. especially sucks if you pass on that infection to a little baby whose immune system isn't at full speed and presribed antibiotics don't work... not only does medicine help you from getting sick but it helps stop the spread of disease to others. as for the sickness being mental david i'll give you some credit for it because it has been documented, but there is a biological basis on which every illness occurs... each and every sickness can be pinpointed to a physical cause of some sort... if you can give yourself a runny nose by thinking about it then you'll make me a believer... until then, if any of your are sick go take your medicine you'll get better a lot faster! okie enough of this because i'm getting all fired up...
in relation to modern medicine i've decided to persue becoming an EMT (emergency medical technician) for the summer which means i'll be going to school every saturday starting in january... looks like my social calendar has been totally wiped clean... but honestly, i'm really excited about doing this... it's the same feeling i get whenever i watch ER. it's the excitement and rush of dealing with emergencies that really gets me. plus, it'll look awesome on my med school applications! =) can't wait! check back in february when i'm bitching about all the hard work... you'll have permission to slap me upside the head then...
just something about reading other pople's blogs gives me the inspiration to blog myself. well, this blog is in regards to the ongoing debate started amongst phil, stef... and now david ... basically steph and david are arguing against the use of medicine to treat their illnesses. although i'm not a doctor (yet) i still feel i have the obligation to provide my view on this...
none of your over-the-counter flu, cold, cough medications are supposed to provide you with 100% relief or even cure you for that matter... they are simply there to lessen the severity of your illness for the time the medicine is in your system. this merely gives your body a chance to fight the off the infection. biologically, steph and david may have good immune systems and i'll let the two slide without taking medicine for their cold or flu because honestly the only thing they can really do is treat the individual symptoms like coughing, aches, or fever and sweat it out... however i really can't advocate the this "no medicine for me view"... i defy either of them to try and fight a strep throat or bronchitis infection without the aid of medicine...we're also at our peak physical state which means we will get sick less often and recover faster because our immune system is more able to fight off infections... but by not finishing off your antibiotics you're providing that window of antiobiotic resistance to the bacteria that made you sick in the first place. the problem i have with that is although you may not have gotten sick from that bacteria, but you can pass on those antibiotic resistant bugs to someone else making making them sick with a strain of bacteria resistant to medicine...making it harder to treat. especially sucks if you pass on that infection to a little baby whose immune system isn't at full speed and presribed antibiotics don't work... not only does medicine help you from getting sick but it helps stop the spread of disease to others. as for the sickness being mental david i'll give you some credit for it because it has been documented, but there is a biological basis on which every illness occurs... each and every sickness can be pinpointed to a physical cause of some sort... if you can give yourself a runny nose by thinking about it then you'll make me a believer... until then, if any of your are sick go take your medicine you'll get better a lot faster! okie enough of this because i'm getting all fired up...
in relation to modern medicine i've decided to persue becoming an EMT (emergency medical technician) for the summer which means i'll be going to school every saturday starting in january... looks like my social calendar has been totally wiped clean... but honestly, i'm really excited about doing this... it's the same feeling i get whenever i watch ER. it's the excitement and rush of dealing with emergencies that really gets me. plus, it'll look awesome on my med school applications! =) can't wait! check back in february when i'm bitching about all the hard work... you'll have permission to slap me upside the head then...
Thursday, December 13, 2001
Urban Renewal
ever since we moved into the apartment we've been telling david that his turtles need a better home than their tiny little plastic aquarium. i donated my old 10 gallon one for the cause of better living... well, although in a much bigger house his turtles basically swam all day and lacked any good resting places to stay dry. david last week tried to make their living situation a little more fun by giving them a turtle playground... it's not like turtles are very picky about where they live or play, but i highly doubt playing in trash and old plastics bowls was doing much for their happiness. it took nearly 3 hours and approxiately 300 pennies to completely upgrade what was once basically the turtle ghetto... today marked their very first day in their newly reburbished living environment. i went out to the beach today to collect huge rocks and also stopped by the pet store to pick up a couple of companions for the turtles. now the turtles are living it up with a rock slide and their very own dry rock patio. i also made a little cave for the little minnows i bought for the tank. although i can't speak turtle it does look like they really like their new home. the moment i put them in they began swimming around exploring their new place and the big one even did a belly flop off the rock slide! the next addition will probably be some plants for the fish since i have a feeling the turtles may not want to have their news friends around for awhile. serious though, i really can't wait for david to see the transformation.. i really hope he likes it =)
turtle paradise rocked by 7 deaths
Coroner's Report: Dr. Reggie T Saldivar
What began as the unsuspecting death of 3 minnows has blown up into an epidemic which has lead to the death of the entire minnow population of turtle paradise. The first 3 minnows were found dead at the bottom of the tank at approximately 3pm. Reports indicated the cause of death of these three to be most likely due to stress and malnutrition. They were buried at sea afterwards. 3 hours later a report came back of 4 more deaths. 2 of which were found floating near the rock patio and the other 2 which died together were found in Lover's Cave. Autopsies revealed no struggle or blunt trauma. Further investigations point to chemical shock as the source of death in all 4 cases. After their bodies were removed the water was treated with dechlorinate. According to my estimates the area should can be reinhabitated in as little 2 hours.
god bless their little souls.
ever since we moved into the apartment we've been telling david that his turtles need a better home than their tiny little plastic aquarium. i donated my old 10 gallon one for the cause of better living... well, although in a much bigger house his turtles basically swam all day and lacked any good resting places to stay dry. david last week tried to make their living situation a little more fun by giving them a turtle playground... it's not like turtles are very picky about where they live or play, but i highly doubt playing in trash and old plastics bowls was doing much for their happiness. it took nearly 3 hours and approxiately 300 pennies to completely upgrade what was once basically the turtle ghetto... today marked their very first day in their newly reburbished living environment. i went out to the beach today to collect huge rocks and also stopped by the pet store to pick up a couple of companions for the turtles. now the turtles are living it up with a rock slide and their very own dry rock patio. i also made a little cave for the little minnows i bought for the tank. although i can't speak turtle it does look like they really like their new home. the moment i put them in they began swimming around exploring their new place and the big one even did a belly flop off the rock slide! the next addition will probably be some plants for the fish since i have a feeling the turtles may not want to have their news friends around for awhile. serious though, i really can't wait for david to see the transformation.. i really hope he likes it =)
turtle paradise rocked by 7 deaths
Coroner's Report: Dr. Reggie T Saldivar
What began as the unsuspecting death of 3 minnows has blown up into an epidemic which has lead to the death of the entire minnow population of turtle paradise. The first 3 minnows were found dead at the bottom of the tank at approximately 3pm. Reports indicated the cause of death of these three to be most likely due to stress and malnutrition. They were buried at sea afterwards. 3 hours later a report came back of 4 more deaths. 2 of which were found floating near the rock patio and the other 2 which died together were found in Lover's Cave. Autopsies revealed no struggle or blunt trauma. Further investigations point to chemical shock as the source of death in all 4 cases. After their bodies were removed the water was treated with dechlorinate. According to my estimates the area should can be reinhabitated in as little 2 hours.
god bless their little souls.
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
the most wonderful time of the year...
today marks the official start of winter break for us UCSD heads... the family went to send off mommy on her family cruise to Mexico... the kids and i played in LA till late and just arrived now... although there's a party going on at armando's i'm just in the mood to sit around and relax... time to fill out applications for winter work and send out my CTY returner app. david's gone back home and it's a weird feeling to not see him typing away at the computer as i step into the room...it's nice and lonely at the same time...it's time to take a hot shower and catch up on some zee's.
today marks the official start of winter break for us UCSD heads... the family went to send off mommy on her family cruise to Mexico... the kids and i played in LA till late and just arrived now... although there's a party going on at armando's i'm just in the mood to sit around and relax... time to fill out applications for winter work and send out my CTY returner app. david's gone back home and it's a weird feeling to not see him typing away at the computer as i step into the room...it's nice and lonely at the same time...it's time to take a hot shower and catch up on some zee's.
Saturday, December 08, 2001
take a bow
finals week has finally come to a smooth and happily uneventful conclusion.... time now to think about what lies ahead for me this year...
in terms of med school prep, this winter break means i'll have the extra time to devote to studying for the mcats and to get some volunteer experience.... that is if the hospital will just call me back... it's already been 3 weeks since i submitted my application and they still haven't called me back... looks like i'm going to look else where...
in terms of money this will also be the perfext time to get some funds back into my bank account and to start paying off those pesky credit card bills... seriously need to control my spending... definitely my new year's resolution will be to stop spending money i don't have...
in terms of myself i'll finally get to attend the Nike Culture Shock dance classes that i've been wanting to go to since october... i will also be trying, emphasis on trying, to hit the gym everyday in order to get rid my soft little gut...
along with this vacation it means the end is near for the La Cima apartment... not that we're breaking apart, just that we'll soon be losing a roomie by the end of the month and daivd will be gone till january... steph will be heading off to spend time at home after this month before heading on a grand adventure to study abroad in new zealand. words can't describe how much i'll miss her... and perhaps it's a little too early to be saying my goodbyes considering it won't be for another 2 months... in regards to missing roomies david will be heading back home to work at A&F for the rest of winter break... although this means i'll have the room all to myself it also means i won't be to see him everyday, joke around, or even be anonoyed by his snoring which are all things i'll miss... guess that means i'll be filling in the void with busy work, playing with the kids, and studying which in all should take up a lot of time as is... anywho, it's time to break open the korbel, play some mah jong, and enjoy my break...
finals week has finally come to a smooth and happily uneventful conclusion.... time now to think about what lies ahead for me this year...
in terms of med school prep, this winter break means i'll have the extra time to devote to studying for the mcats and to get some volunteer experience.... that is if the hospital will just call me back... it's already been 3 weeks since i submitted my application and they still haven't called me back... looks like i'm going to look else where...
in terms of money this will also be the perfext time to get some funds back into my bank account and to start paying off those pesky credit card bills... seriously need to control my spending... definitely my new year's resolution will be to stop spending money i don't have...
in terms of myself i'll finally get to attend the Nike Culture Shock dance classes that i've been wanting to go to since october... i will also be trying, emphasis on trying, to hit the gym everyday in order to get rid my soft little gut...
along with this vacation it means the end is near for the La Cima apartment... not that we're breaking apart, just that we'll soon be losing a roomie by the end of the month and daivd will be gone till january... steph will be heading off to spend time at home after this month before heading on a grand adventure to study abroad in new zealand. words can't describe how much i'll miss her... and perhaps it's a little too early to be saying my goodbyes considering it won't be for another 2 months... in regards to missing roomies david will be heading back home to work at A&F for the rest of winter break... although this means i'll have the room all to myself it also means i won't be to see him everyday, joke around, or even be anonoyed by his snoring which are all things i'll miss... guess that means i'll be filling in the void with busy work, playing with the kids, and studying which in all should take up a lot of time as is... anywho, it's time to break open the korbel, play some mah jong, and enjoy my break...
Thursday, December 06, 2001
almost done
well, i just finished my genetics final... the the one i devoted all of saturday and wednesday for only to find myself struggling to breathe... it's quite sad considering the test was open notes. not granted i'm probably blowing everything out of proportion, but still when i left that i final i had that feeling of "well, at least yer done..." and not the "yeah, i so kicked that final's ass...". seriously, this quarter as much as i tried to buckle down i don't really know how much it helped... honestly, what more do i have to sacrifice to get those damn straight As??!? next quarter just lock me in a box and shuttle me between classes... =P
well, i just finished my genetics final... the the one i devoted all of saturday and wednesday for only to find myself struggling to breathe... it's quite sad considering the test was open notes. not granted i'm probably blowing everything out of proportion, but still when i left that i final i had that feeling of "well, at least yer done..." and not the "yeah, i so kicked that final's ass...". seriously, this quarter as much as i tried to buckle down i don't really know how much it helped... honestly, what more do i have to sacrifice to get those damn straight As??!? next quarter just lock me in a box and shuttle me between classes... =P
Tuesday, December 04, 2001
study break
what's worse than finals week? being sick during finals week... *cough* in fact, my roomie steph was right..."you study so hard you make yourself sick"... what at first started off as a stratchy throat has gotten into aches and pains all over. now i'm left trying to find off this nasty infection while at the same time learning about what caused it for my bacteriology final. perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that fact that i've been studying for such long stretches of time these past couple of days, 8-10 hours at a time, that these 2 hours of review seem like 1st grade handwriting practice.
done
i've finished studying for both my tuesday finals... i doubt i can put any more information into my brain nor do i wish to. time to get some much needed and deserved right... my poor body is begging for a break... GOOD SKILL to everyone this week.
what's worse than finals week? being sick during finals week... *cough* in fact, my roomie steph was right..."you study so hard you make yourself sick"... what at first started off as a stratchy throat has gotten into aches and pains all over. now i'm left trying to find off this nasty infection while at the same time learning about what caused it for my bacteriology final. perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that fact that i've been studying for such long stretches of time these past couple of days, 8-10 hours at a time, that these 2 hours of review seem like 1st grade handwriting practice.
done
i've finished studying for both my tuesday finals... i doubt i can put any more information into my brain nor do i wish to. time to get some much needed and deserved right... my poor body is begging for a break... GOOD SKILL to everyone this week.
Monday, December 03, 2001
final's week thinking
why is it during finals week, the week i should be studying my hardest, i can be found doing everything else other than studying? and on top of that my mind is racing at 100 mph thinking about academics and the rest of my life? perhaps it's just this time of the quarter... it requires the most energy and so everything else in my life gets sucked into the vortex... on top of studying i've managed to rearrange my desk, do my laundry, cook, clean, and visit my family at home... this morning while i was driving home from the library i was amazed at the fact i was able to cram 10 weeks of academic school work into less than 24 tiny little hours. think about it, in theory we could go through an entire quarter within a week and graduate from college in less time it takes those people enrolled at Devry to get their degree in Dental Assistant, Electrical, Plumbing, High School Diploma, etc, etc, etc... i have a feeling this quarter will be litmus test of my study habits... i'll admit there were times where i ditched class and played, but there were also times where i did some hardcore studying... depending on my grades this quarter, it'll show me if this balancing act i've perfected is effective...
recently i've noticed my life paralleling that of APSA high school conference skits... i find myself studying to the point where i get sick for the sole purpose of not only making the grades for med school but demonstrating to my parents that the money their spending isn't going to waste. the other day when i got home to check for any mail that had arrived i found that my princeton review class had sent me all the necessary paperwork for my upcoming class which included the important tuition bill. let's just say an overwhelming feeling of guilt and indebtness came over me when my parents calmly took the bill and placed it on the fridge to remind them they needed to write the check first thing in the morning... at that point it really dawned on me that my parents are really investing a lot into the future Dr. Saldivar... really makes me grateful to God for all his blessing in giving a family that can provide for me anything and everything i could every want, for blessing me with friends who can get me to relax during one of the most stressful times of the year, and for blessing me with this incredible opprotunity to become what i've aspired to be... despite the stress of this week i'm quite content with my life and everyone who's a part of it...
why is it during finals week, the week i should be studying my hardest, i can be found doing everything else other than studying? and on top of that my mind is racing at 100 mph thinking about academics and the rest of my life? perhaps it's just this time of the quarter... it requires the most energy and so everything else in my life gets sucked into the vortex... on top of studying i've managed to rearrange my desk, do my laundry, cook, clean, and visit my family at home... this morning while i was driving home from the library i was amazed at the fact i was able to cram 10 weeks of academic school work into less than 24 tiny little hours. think about it, in theory we could go through an entire quarter within a week and graduate from college in less time it takes those people enrolled at Devry to get their degree in Dental Assistant, Electrical, Plumbing, High School Diploma, etc, etc, etc... i have a feeling this quarter will be litmus test of my study habits... i'll admit there were times where i ditched class and played, but there were also times where i did some hardcore studying... depending on my grades this quarter, it'll show me if this balancing act i've perfected is effective...
recently i've noticed my life paralleling that of APSA high school conference skits... i find myself studying to the point where i get sick for the sole purpose of not only making the grades for med school but demonstrating to my parents that the money their spending isn't going to waste. the other day when i got home to check for any mail that had arrived i found that my princeton review class had sent me all the necessary paperwork for my upcoming class which included the important tuition bill. let's just say an overwhelming feeling of guilt and indebtness came over me when my parents calmly took the bill and placed it on the fridge to remind them they needed to write the check first thing in the morning... at that point it really dawned on me that my parents are really investing a lot into the future Dr. Saldivar... really makes me grateful to God for all his blessing in giving a family that can provide for me anything and everything i could every want, for blessing me with friends who can get me to relax during one of the most stressful times of the year, and for blessing me with this incredible opprotunity to become what i've aspired to be... despite the stress of this week i'm quite content with my life and everyone who's a part of it...
Sunday, December 02, 2001
Sunday Morning
it's 1:30 am at CLICS... it's finally settled down to a low shuffle of chatter and there are finally some open desks... i came to the library eariler today only to find there was literally no place to sit... i came back at 11 to find only this one computer desk free... i've been reviewing genetics the entire day and still i feel if i took the final now i'd fail, even with the open notes policy... despite the fact this test will be open notes i think it will be by the far the toughest of my finals... i think the added pressure comes from knowing that i'll be going into this final with an A and that i stand to lose that A if i don't kick some ass on this one... *sigh*... not too worried about my other classes... after tonight i won't be able to study for genetics until tuesday so i'm trying to cram as much into my brain as possible... okie back to the books... not outta here till 3 am...
it's 1:30 am at CLICS... it's finally settled down to a low shuffle of chatter and there are finally some open desks... i came to the library eariler today only to find there was literally no place to sit... i came back at 11 to find only this one computer desk free... i've been reviewing genetics the entire day and still i feel if i took the final now i'd fail, even with the open notes policy... despite the fact this test will be open notes i think it will be by the far the toughest of my finals... i think the added pressure comes from knowing that i'll be going into this final with an A and that i stand to lose that A if i don't kick some ass on this one... *sigh*... not too worried about my other classes... after tonight i won't be able to study for genetics until tuesday so i'm trying to cram as much into my brain as possible... okie back to the books... not outta here till 3 am...
Friday, November 30, 2001
it's raining
despite the fact i may bitch and moan about not having enough time to do everything i'm going to try and devote some time to blogging my thoughts... my one means of providing time for me...
well today it rained much of the day. despite the fact people don't seem to like the rain, i for one love it! perfect time to play outside or just snuggle up to take a nap. just about the best feelin in the world in to be warm and cozy in bed while it rains outside... no other feeling like it. such a great feeling in fact my roomie. David, slept in for much of the day missing a midterm. how you ask? well, usually david guages how much time he has to get ready for class by seeing if i've already left for class myself. if i'm still sleeping it means he has time... if i'm gone then it means he should be getting ready. well, (this is the funny part) when i got home at around 2 pm from my class david was still sleeping and i decided go take a nap. well, when david looked over to my bed he saw that i was sleeping and apparently the sun hadn't come out yet. but in fact because of the rain clouds it looked like 5 am in our room most of the day... when david finally woke himself up to look at the clock he realized that it was close to 3pm and had missed his vietnamese midterm... well, luckily he was able to reschedule it... so yes, let this be a lesson to you, don't use your roomies as alarm clocks or maybe a better one would be if my roomie had been up to study for his finals then none of this would have ever happened...
today marked the official end of fall quarter for me. no more classes! just finals and lots, lots, and lots of reviewing... i even bought a white board to do reaction mechanisms and other nerdy things over and over again. it's one of the proven ways i know that'll help me to retain all this info. writing it down or teaching it to someone. and sadly i don't have anyone to teach this stuff too... today was also supposedly the last meeting of triple k for the quarter, but plans didn't solidify due to the obvious fact that it was 10th week. well, looks like we'll be getting together for dim sum after finals are done with...
oh yeah, so it's really quite sad and despressing that up until now i never knew how to throw a football, errr... well, throw one properly... in fact, quite emasculating to think about it... well, today my partner in crime, philip, dragged me outta bed from my nap to teach me the fine art. i would liken my mentality to that of carlton banks on the fresh prince... i felt so sheltered learning how to throw a football like i had been denied this rite of passage growing up... despite the fact i felt like a little 5 year old when i threw it and probably looked like one it was quite nice to finally be able to say i can , somewhat, throw a football...afterwards i felt like a whole new world was opened for me... hahahaha... so funny i just have to laugh at myself... =)
despite the fact i may bitch and moan about not having enough time to do everything i'm going to try and devote some time to blogging my thoughts... my one means of providing time for me...
well today it rained much of the day. despite the fact people don't seem to like the rain, i for one love it! perfect time to play outside or just snuggle up to take a nap. just about the best feelin in the world in to be warm and cozy in bed while it rains outside... no other feeling like it. such a great feeling in fact my roomie. David, slept in for much of the day missing a midterm. how you ask? well, usually david guages how much time he has to get ready for class by seeing if i've already left for class myself. if i'm still sleeping it means he has time... if i'm gone then it means he should be getting ready. well, (this is the funny part) when i got home at around 2 pm from my class david was still sleeping and i decided go take a nap. well, when david looked over to my bed he saw that i was sleeping and apparently the sun hadn't come out yet. but in fact because of the rain clouds it looked like 5 am in our room most of the day... when david finally woke himself up to look at the clock he realized that it was close to 3pm and had missed his vietnamese midterm... well, luckily he was able to reschedule it... so yes, let this be a lesson to you, don't use your roomies as alarm clocks or maybe a better one would be if my roomie had been up to study for his finals then none of this would have ever happened...
today marked the official end of fall quarter for me. no more classes! just finals and lots, lots, and lots of reviewing... i even bought a white board to do reaction mechanisms and other nerdy things over and over again. it's one of the proven ways i know that'll help me to retain all this info. writing it down or teaching it to someone. and sadly i don't have anyone to teach this stuff too... today was also supposedly the last meeting of triple k for the quarter, but plans didn't solidify due to the obvious fact that it was 10th week. well, looks like we'll be getting together for dim sum after finals are done with...
oh yeah, so it's really quite sad and despressing that up until now i never knew how to throw a football, errr... well, throw one properly... in fact, quite emasculating to think about it... well, today my partner in crime, philip, dragged me outta bed from my nap to teach me the fine art. i would liken my mentality to that of carlton banks on the fresh prince... i felt so sheltered learning how to throw a football like i had been denied this rite of passage growing up... despite the fact i felt like a little 5 year old when i threw it and probably looked like one it was quite nice to finally be able to say i can , somewhat, throw a football...afterwards i felt like a whole new world was opened for me... hahahaha... so funny i just have to laugh at myself... =)
Thursday, November 29, 2001
On the verge of panic...
it's 1 am thursday of week 10... my first final is approximately 5 days away... i'm torn between studying my classes in the order i'll be taking my finals or studying the material i know least... for now i've opted to option number one... so, i finally finished reading everything i needed to read for my bacteriology final, which doesn't necessarily mean i'm ready for it... case in point, i was working on the practice final and came to the realization that most of the material covered in the first half of the course had left my brain... the only things left of that info were remnants of key terms and mechanisms... now i'm going about studying for this final the hard way... i have to go through every chapter and write up a summary of the material that way i can remember it. i'm not the type of person that easily memorizes things by just reading it... i need to either say it out loud or write it out to commit it to memory...anywho, looks like it's going to be a long night before i can get any sleep...
dream log november 28, 2001
for a while now i've been looking for sheets so my wifey, steph, can turn them into a duvet for my down comforter... i still have yet to find the perfect one...with that info in hand here's my dream... i walk into the linen store me and david passed through when we went outlet shopping at veijas a while back... an older asian women asks me what i want... i tell her i'm looking for sheets to turn into a duvet... she brings me around the store which is piled high to the ceiling with comforters in plastic bags. she pulls out a set but i decline them and she pulls out another which i also decline. i tell her i'm looking for something dark blue and yellow. she brings out a yellow and white checkered sheet. i'm a bit frustrated so i decide to wander the aisles myself. i can't seem to find anything i like and every other thing i pull out is a wool blanket... that's basically it... nothing weird, sexual, or mysterious about it... pretty benign dream, huh? check back tomorrow... maybe they'll be something a little more interesting
it's 1 am thursday of week 10... my first final is approximately 5 days away... i'm torn between studying my classes in the order i'll be taking my finals or studying the material i know least... for now i've opted to option number one... so, i finally finished reading everything i needed to read for my bacteriology final, which doesn't necessarily mean i'm ready for it... case in point, i was working on the practice final and came to the realization that most of the material covered in the first half of the course had left my brain... the only things left of that info were remnants of key terms and mechanisms... now i'm going about studying for this final the hard way... i have to go through every chapter and write up a summary of the material that way i can remember it. i'm not the type of person that easily memorizes things by just reading it... i need to either say it out loud or write it out to commit it to memory...anywho, looks like it's going to be a long night before i can get any sleep...
dream log november 28, 2001
for a while now i've been looking for sheets so my wifey, steph, can turn them into a duvet for my down comforter... i still have yet to find the perfect one...with that info in hand here's my dream... i walk into the linen store me and david passed through when we went outlet shopping at veijas a while back... an older asian women asks me what i want... i tell her i'm looking for sheets to turn into a duvet... she brings me around the store which is piled high to the ceiling with comforters in plastic bags. she pulls out a set but i decline them and she pulls out another which i also decline. i tell her i'm looking for something dark blue and yellow. she brings out a yellow and white checkered sheet. i'm a bit frustrated so i decide to wander the aisles myself. i can't seem to find anything i like and every other thing i pull out is a wool blanket... that's basically it... nothing weird, sexual, or mysterious about it... pretty benign dream, huh? check back tomorrow... maybe they'll be something a little more interesting
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
shoot me
to quote my buddy philip "just put a bullet to my head..." despite the great outlook i didn't end up falling asleep until 4 in the morning last night.. err... this morning... it's about 2 in the morning despite eating and taking a nice hot shower i'm still tired and cranky... anything and everything is bugging me right now... so it's best that i have minimal people interaction... i'd much rather have my personal anger eat away at me than me going off on someone i cared about... aiyo.. it's just one of those days where you've done so much and yet there is still more to do... i studied for about 5 hours today at clics and yet i still feel like i didn't learn anything while sitting at my oversized desk... luckily i haven't hit the panic phase yet, that isn't due until monday.... right now i'm just at that point were i'm just saturated with what i already know and that if i add anything else it'll all just come pouring out. the agenda for tomorrow is pretty much the same... (try) wake up early, study before class, dinner, and then study at clics till closing... notice how i gained more study time by omitting breakfast and lunch? yes, just another one of my impromptu experiments... hopefully this one won't end up killing me... =P
so yes, i did remember my dream. it was qutie vivid in fact. i told both stephs about it this morning and roomie steph said it must have been the hot pockets we had before we went to bed. that must have been it because my dream was pretty crazy... i would go into the details of my dream but to prevent any misunderstandings i won't. let's just say that a lot of the things i said in my dream were actually thoughts i had in my head before i went to bed. necessarily that wouldn't be something i would be afraid to discuss but considering the situations in my dream it would be better if i just left it at that.
to quote my buddy philip "just put a bullet to my head..." despite the great outlook i didn't end up falling asleep until 4 in the morning last night.. err... this morning... it's about 2 in the morning despite eating and taking a nice hot shower i'm still tired and cranky... anything and everything is bugging me right now... so it's best that i have minimal people interaction... i'd much rather have my personal anger eat away at me than me going off on someone i cared about... aiyo.. it's just one of those days where you've done so much and yet there is still more to do... i studied for about 5 hours today at clics and yet i still feel like i didn't learn anything while sitting at my oversized desk... luckily i haven't hit the panic phase yet, that isn't due until monday.... right now i'm just at that point were i'm just saturated with what i already know and that if i add anything else it'll all just come pouring out. the agenda for tomorrow is pretty much the same... (try) wake up early, study before class, dinner, and then study at clics till closing... notice how i gained more study time by omitting breakfast and lunch? yes, just another one of my impromptu experiments... hopefully this one won't end up killing me... =P
so yes, i did remember my dream. it was qutie vivid in fact. i told both stephs about it this morning and roomie steph said it must have been the hot pockets we had before we went to bed. that must have been it because my dream was pretty crazy... i would go into the details of my dream but to prevent any misunderstandings i won't. let's just say that a lot of the things i said in my dream were actually thoughts i had in my head before i went to bed. necessarily that wouldn't be something i would be afraid to discuss but considering the situations in my dream it would be better if i just left it at that.
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
tired
that's basically the only word that can adequately describe my state of mind... it's a good and bad thing... good in that i'll actually be able to get to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up early to get some studying done... bad in that i think i may be pushing myself a little too hard and getting myself sick... today at CLICS i had a pounding headache before our 10th week APSA officer dinner... but after getting some food into me and getting a couple of laughs out i was feeling a whole lot better. the end of the quarter is approaching faster than i had hoped... just thinking about the fact i only have one week to prepare for 2 very difficult finals is enough to keep me tossing and turning before i fall asleep.... i'm also implementing another little experiment this week... among the first things i do when i wake up will be to log onto blogger and document my dreams... hopefully this will help me to remember them with more detail and eventually help me to regain the lost art of lucid dreaming... speaking of which although my dreams have become more vivid and i can remember then more often it's been harder for me to fall asleep... anyone have any suggestions to help besides counting sheep? well, like i said before i'm tired so i'm going to try to catch some z's and wake up early tomorrow...
that's basically the only word that can adequately describe my state of mind... it's a good and bad thing... good in that i'll actually be able to get to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up early to get some studying done... bad in that i think i may be pushing myself a little too hard and getting myself sick... today at CLICS i had a pounding headache before our 10th week APSA officer dinner... but after getting some food into me and getting a couple of laughs out i was feeling a whole lot better. the end of the quarter is approaching faster than i had hoped... just thinking about the fact i only have one week to prepare for 2 very difficult finals is enough to keep me tossing and turning before i fall asleep.... i'm also implementing another little experiment this week... among the first things i do when i wake up will be to log onto blogger and document my dreams... hopefully this will help me to remember them with more detail and eventually help me to regain the lost art of lucid dreaming... speaking of which although my dreams have become more vivid and i can remember then more often it's been harder for me to fall asleep... anyone have any suggestions to help besides counting sheep? well, like i said before i'm tired so i'm going to try to catch some z's and wake up early tomorrow...
Sunday, November 25, 2001
Hell Week
before i get to the meat of this blog just want to give a HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY to PHILIP LI!!!... it is on this day 22 years ago the world was forever changed, altered, modified, deformed, and in general a more booty place with his pressence... happy birthday ya big baby! =P
my friends that know me well know that i worry a lot and tend to over reactive... today has been no exception to the rule. just so many different thoughts going through my head... yesterday i was reunited with two very good friends of mine from high school and elementary school. my friend joseph whom i've known every since 1st grade has always been there with his crazy smile and "holy" radiance and khrizna is just about the sweetest and smartest girls i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. the three of us decided to meet up at starbucks and catch each other up on our lives since we last saw each other. khrizna is very much in the same boat as i am with nursing school and pressure of living up to expectations. the first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw me was "reggie! what's wrong? you looked so stressed out..." we both talked about our future plans and how the competition in our major (she's a mammalian physio major at UCLA) is so incredibly fierce.. the one thing that came out of our talk was that as long as i have the drive nothing can stop me. and joseph... hmmm joseph is just my comic relief.. talking to him always puts a smile on my face and the fact he never really intends for me to laugh makes it all the better. =) at first i was a bit peeved i had wasted my day sleeping in, going to a family party, and then going out to have coffee (which seemed counter-productive), but in the end it was the recharge i had badly needed. in fact i was so inspired that i was able to study in my apartment which is something i haven't been able to do since i've moved in.
haven't really told you what's been eating at me today... well, today i went to go study with my female partner in crime Hai and during the second half of our study session i was nagged by the question of what to do with my summer? i mean, a fairly simple straight forward question that doesn't really warrant much thought but then i started thinking about alternatives to going back to asia which was the original plan sicne last year. which brought into my head that i have massive amounts of debt which are looming over my head and that i should first pay those off before i do anything. which lead to the notion of working for johns hopkins for another summer. that opens up a whole new door because now the los angeles site which i worked at for the past two summers has been broken into two separate sites, one at loyola and another at pepperdine... too long and complicated list of pros and cons for me to really get into depth but the possibility still remains that i might not be going back to the philippines as soon as i would have hoped. also, the hospital which i applied to volunteer for hasn't called me back which worries me and again my bills are starting to eat away at my already low savings. the thought of money always brings me back to my parents, god bless them, who pay for everything as my roomies can attest to. i know they never complain to me about the money i'm spending here at school, but i know that they are expecting a lot out of this huge investment. my mom the other day while we were driving told me that as long as i study and get good grades i shouldn't worry about anything else, but it's hard not to worry about these sacrifices they're making for me. in fact, i know that my poor little brother is getting negleted due to the fact all my family's resources are going into the making of the future Dr. Saldivar (has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?) i want to be able to say all this hard work was worth the pain and that hopefully my friends understand that it may mean they'll have to make due with my pressence in spirit rather than body... basically boils down to finding that way to make it as a pre-med student while at the same time not forgetting my friends.. "ta ma de..." so hard to find that all important balance... anywho, i studied for 8 hours today and now it's my time to relax, watch some tv, play some video games, and get a good night's rest...
before i get to the meat of this blog just want to give a HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY to PHILIP LI!!!... it is on this day 22 years ago the world was forever changed, altered, modified, deformed, and in general a more booty place with his pressence... happy birthday ya big baby! =P
my friends that know me well know that i worry a lot and tend to over reactive... today has been no exception to the rule. just so many different thoughts going through my head... yesterday i was reunited with two very good friends of mine from high school and elementary school. my friend joseph whom i've known every since 1st grade has always been there with his crazy smile and "holy" radiance and khrizna is just about the sweetest and smartest girls i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. the three of us decided to meet up at starbucks and catch each other up on our lives since we last saw each other. khrizna is very much in the same boat as i am with nursing school and pressure of living up to expectations. the first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw me was "reggie! what's wrong? you looked so stressed out..." we both talked about our future plans and how the competition in our major (she's a mammalian physio major at UCLA) is so incredibly fierce.. the one thing that came out of our talk was that as long as i have the drive nothing can stop me. and joseph... hmmm joseph is just my comic relief.. talking to him always puts a smile on my face and the fact he never really intends for me to laugh makes it all the better. =) at first i was a bit peeved i had wasted my day sleeping in, going to a family party, and then going out to have coffee (which seemed counter-productive), but in the end it was the recharge i had badly needed. in fact i was so inspired that i was able to study in my apartment which is something i haven't been able to do since i've moved in.
haven't really told you what's been eating at me today... well, today i went to go study with my female partner in crime Hai and during the second half of our study session i was nagged by the question of what to do with my summer? i mean, a fairly simple straight forward question that doesn't really warrant much thought but then i started thinking about alternatives to going back to asia which was the original plan sicne last year. which brought into my head that i have massive amounts of debt which are looming over my head and that i should first pay those off before i do anything. which lead to the notion of working for johns hopkins for another summer. that opens up a whole new door because now the los angeles site which i worked at for the past two summers has been broken into two separate sites, one at loyola and another at pepperdine... too long and complicated list of pros and cons for me to really get into depth but the possibility still remains that i might not be going back to the philippines as soon as i would have hoped. also, the hospital which i applied to volunteer for hasn't called me back which worries me and again my bills are starting to eat away at my already low savings. the thought of money always brings me back to my parents, god bless them, who pay for everything as my roomies can attest to. i know they never complain to me about the money i'm spending here at school, but i know that they are expecting a lot out of this huge investment. my mom the other day while we were driving told me that as long as i study and get good grades i shouldn't worry about anything else, but it's hard not to worry about these sacrifices they're making for me. in fact, i know that my poor little brother is getting negleted due to the fact all my family's resources are going into the making of the future Dr. Saldivar (has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?) i want to be able to say all this hard work was worth the pain and that hopefully my friends understand that it may mean they'll have to make due with my pressence in spirit rather than body... basically boils down to finding that way to make it as a pre-med student while at the same time not forgetting my friends.. "ta ma de..." so hard to find that all important balance... anywho, i studied for 8 hours today and now it's my time to relax, watch some tv, play some video games, and get a good night's rest...
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
thanksgiving eve
i bought the turkey and the roomies bought the rest... thanksgiving eve dinner is going to be great... good food and great friends... i can't wait...
aftermath
definitely had my fill of delicous food today. the menu consisted of turkey (of course), mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, baked vegatables, rice, brownies, cheesecake, and apple pie. special thanks to Mayrin, Phil, Jimmy, and Eric for sharing thanksgiving eve with the roomies... unlike steph's grandmother i didn't start cooking at 4 in the morning, but started at around 12 in the afternoon. the food was good nevertheless and the friends were even better. while cooking dinner i had the overwhelming feelings of happiness and just got the giddiness that only comes around the holidays. me and steph even put together a christmas cd. i'm looking forward to christmas break which is coming in about 2 weeks. at this point i think everyone in the apt is tired. jas is in her room with jeremy, steph went back to jimmy's, and david has once again beat me to sleep. in fact, he is still wearing his dress clothes! i really don't get it.... how do you fall asleep without brushing your teeth or changing clothes?
Happy Thanksgiving!
i bought the turkey and the roomies bought the rest... thanksgiving eve dinner is going to be great... good food and great friends... i can't wait...
aftermath
definitely had my fill of delicous food today. the menu consisted of turkey (of course), mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, baked vegatables, rice, brownies, cheesecake, and apple pie. special thanks to Mayrin, Phil, Jimmy, and Eric for sharing thanksgiving eve with the roomies... unlike steph's grandmother i didn't start cooking at 4 in the morning, but started at around 12 in the afternoon. the food was good nevertheless and the friends were even better. while cooking dinner i had the overwhelming feelings of happiness and just got the giddiness that only comes around the holidays. me and steph even put together a christmas cd. i'm looking forward to christmas break which is coming in about 2 weeks. at this point i think everyone in the apt is tired. jas is in her room with jeremy, steph went back to jimmy's, and david has once again beat me to sleep. in fact, he is still wearing his dress clothes! i really don't get it.... how do you fall asleep without brushing your teeth or changing clothes?
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 19, 2001
9th Week, Day 1
Today i woke up before 10 for once and was wide awake and alert. again i was able to dream. however, at this moment what i remember from the dream escapes me. the dentist i sent my resume to called me this morning and asked me to come in for an interview. despite my "wonderful resume" and limited dental experience he was looking for someone who actually knew something about teeth. but it's all good because i made some good networking because he said he would forward my resume to his local doctor friends if they were looking for an assistant. his current assistant also suggested i send out my resume to doctors as well, which is something i intend to do. i have the whole day ahead of me which translates to... go study! be back tonight
2 AM
just about to call it a night... i've just brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put on my pjs... i do believe this is the earliest i will have gotten to sleep. actually, my roomie, david, is fast asleep right now... i think the moment he put his head on his pillow he began snoring. if only i could fall asleep that fast. actually his snoring isn't too bad now... it's almost reassuring in a funny way... kinda like sleeply in the vicinity of a big bear... puahahahaha... alright, i'm outtie... been studying too long and found myself actually enjoying what i was doing...
Today i woke up before 10 for once and was wide awake and alert. again i was able to dream. however, at this moment what i remember from the dream escapes me. the dentist i sent my resume to called me this morning and asked me to come in for an interview. despite my "wonderful resume" and limited dental experience he was looking for someone who actually knew something about teeth. but it's all good because i made some good networking because he said he would forward my resume to his local doctor friends if they were looking for an assistant. his current assistant also suggested i send out my resume to doctors as well, which is something i intend to do. i have the whole day ahead of me which translates to... go study! be back tonight
2 AM
just about to call it a night... i've just brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put on my pjs... i do believe this is the earliest i will have gotten to sleep. actually, my roomie, david, is fast asleep right now... i think the moment he put his head on his pillow he began snoring. if only i could fall asleep that fast. actually his snoring isn't too bad now... it's almost reassuring in a funny way... kinda like sleeply in the vicinity of a big bear... puahahahaha... alright, i'm outtie... been studying too long and found myself actually enjoying what i was doing...
9th week
well, the weekend has passed and the start of 9th week is upon me. props to janet and my roomie steph for putting together an awesome high school conference. honestly, despite the (many) things that went wrong with the conference it was awesome. i'm so glad that i have such an awesome individual that i can call my roomie.
with only 2 two weeks to gear up for finals i'm starting to feel the crunch of time upon me. i'm also starting to worry about the many little tasks i set out to do about 2 weeks ago. I still have yet to be placed in a job, volunteer my time at a hospital, or find a professor to do research with. in fact, i still haven't registered for my mcat course which i should have done this weekend. if by tenth week i haven't done any of these things please dop my apartment and kick my ass. cuz i think that'll be the only way for me to get it done. honestly, it's not like i haven't been trying because my friends can attest to the fact that i've been trying hard to get all these things done. i also finally locked myself in my room and wrote a practice mcat essay in which i failed miserably. i'm not all too sad about it though because i know writing is the only means i'll be able to improve my writing skills.
despite the fact i haven't been able to sleep at a reasonable hour in the past 3 weeks i have noticed that i can remember my dreams again which is something i haven't been able to do for a long time. in something like a dream i went after high school conference to mt. palomar to watch the meteor shower. the night time sky was clear on the mountain and provided the perfect seating arrangement to watch shooting stars race across the sky. it was also a very nice way to relax after the high stress day of high school conference. however, now with high school conference out of the way there is no excuse for me to not put 100% of my efforts into school. with my battery fulled recharged i think i'm ready to fly into this week. the battle plan for the week is to catch up and review for finals as well as try to avoid all social situations until wednesday night which will be our roomie thanksgiving day dinner.
well, the weekend has passed and the start of 9th week is upon me. props to janet and my roomie steph for putting together an awesome high school conference. honestly, despite the (many) things that went wrong with the conference it was awesome. i'm so glad that i have such an awesome individual that i can call my roomie.
with only 2 two weeks to gear up for finals i'm starting to feel the crunch of time upon me. i'm also starting to worry about the many little tasks i set out to do about 2 weeks ago. I still have yet to be placed in a job, volunteer my time at a hospital, or find a professor to do research with. in fact, i still haven't registered for my mcat course which i should have done this weekend. if by tenth week i haven't done any of these things please dop my apartment and kick my ass. cuz i think that'll be the only way for me to get it done. honestly, it's not like i haven't been trying because my friends can attest to the fact that i've been trying hard to get all these things done. i also finally locked myself in my room and wrote a practice mcat essay in which i failed miserably. i'm not all too sad about it though because i know writing is the only means i'll be able to improve my writing skills.
despite the fact i haven't been able to sleep at a reasonable hour in the past 3 weeks i have noticed that i can remember my dreams again which is something i haven't been able to do for a long time. in something like a dream i went after high school conference to mt. palomar to watch the meteor shower. the night time sky was clear on the mountain and provided the perfect seating arrangement to watch shooting stars race across the sky. it was also a very nice way to relax after the high stress day of high school conference. however, now with high school conference out of the way there is no excuse for me to not put 100% of my efforts into school. with my battery fulled recharged i think i'm ready to fly into this week. the battle plan for the week is to catch up and review for finals as well as try to avoid all social situations until wednesday night which will be our roomie thanksgiving day dinner.
Thursday, November 15, 2001
Hectic but Rewarding
After a small little episode in which i thought i wouldn't be able to make it as a med school student i've managed to pick up the pieces and start off running.... in a very short time period I went from thinking i should extend my education by another year to just taking it all one day at a time. i've come to conclusion to drop the idea of a chinese minor and have focused my attentions at the goal at hand, med school. in the search for medically related jobs and research projects I've found a couple of opportunities which look really promising.
i've also be able to focus more time to my studies while finding the balance between work and play. today i was able to revive the lost art of playing back at international gardens which really made me happy. i seriously had forgotten how much fun it is to just play around in mayrin's and steph's place when neither or them are home. =D unfortunately, finding that balance has meant sacrificing one little thing. it's sleep. i haven't been able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour for almost 3 weeks now. it's gotten so bad I skipped all my classes wednesday to catch up on some much needed rest. i've been trying to find the time to sleep, but it's no use trying. if i'm not working on homework, it's APSA related stuff, or even just doing stuff I need to do like laundry or eating. today i got home at around 1:30 am and yet i sit here at my computer typing away at my blog. aiyo~... in conclusion though my academic and social life are good. check back in during finals week and we'll see if i'm singing the same song.
After a small little episode in which i thought i wouldn't be able to make it as a med school student i've managed to pick up the pieces and start off running.... in a very short time period I went from thinking i should extend my education by another year to just taking it all one day at a time. i've come to conclusion to drop the idea of a chinese minor and have focused my attentions at the goal at hand, med school. in the search for medically related jobs and research projects I've found a couple of opportunities which look really promising.
i've also be able to focus more time to my studies while finding the balance between work and play. today i was able to revive the lost art of playing back at international gardens which really made me happy. i seriously had forgotten how much fun it is to just play around in mayrin's and steph's place when neither or them are home. =D unfortunately, finding that balance has meant sacrificing one little thing. it's sleep. i haven't been able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour for almost 3 weeks now. it's gotten so bad I skipped all my classes wednesday to catch up on some much needed rest. i've been trying to find the time to sleep, but it's no use trying. if i'm not working on homework, it's APSA related stuff, or even just doing stuff I need to do like laundry or eating. today i got home at around 1:30 am and yet i sit here at my computer typing away at my blog. aiyo~... in conclusion though my academic and social life are good. check back in during finals week and we'll see if i'm singing the same song.
Monday, November 12, 2001
What happened?
The weekend started off so promising... spend time with roomie and study. those were the only two things i really wanted to get done this weekend. unfortunately i didn't get much of either task done. I"M SO SORRY STEPH! =( the blame can be placed on me for not just taking the time out and just kicking it with her. it was pretty crazy becuase the moment we were going to sit and watch the movie she rented our other roomie came back from Stanford Conference. anywho, pretty much we've just been on conflicting schedules all weekend.
however i was able to get my weekly mah jong fix with the Triple K crew at a different location and night. i think this marks the first time Tracy has been able to play mah jong with us since the start of the school year. we were also able to break-in Emiko's new set of penalty cards at tonight's/morning's game. Well the sun is about to rise which means it's time for me to get some much needed rest. i doubt my sleep cycle will ever get back to normal... bleh =P
The weekend started off so promising... spend time with roomie and study. those were the only two things i really wanted to get done this weekend. unfortunately i didn't get much of either task done. I"M SO SORRY STEPH! =( the blame can be placed on me for not just taking the time out and just kicking it with her. it was pretty crazy becuase the moment we were going to sit and watch the movie she rented our other roomie came back from Stanford Conference. anywho, pretty much we've just been on conflicting schedules all weekend.
however i was able to get my weekly mah jong fix with the Triple K crew at a different location and night. i think this marks the first time Tracy has been able to play mah jong with us since the start of the school year. we were also able to break-in Emiko's new set of penalty cards at tonight's/morning's game. Well the sun is about to rise which means it's time for me to get some much needed rest. i doubt my sleep cycle will ever get back to normal... bleh =P
Saturday, November 10, 2001
Thursday, November 08, 2001
Again Life Goes On...
i never really understood the old cliche "to take life one day at a time" and i think today i'm finally starting to realize the true meaning of it... after going to my pre-med advisor today i've come to the conclusion life doesn't always go according to plan... case in point, according to my original plan i was going to graduate in 4 years take a year off to play or whatever and then dive into med school... but now it doesn't seem so clear cut as it used to be... now i'm coming to grips with the possibility i may not get into the med school of my choice which really makes me question my abilities... but after thinking, thinking, more thinking, and talking upon talking my friend's have helped me to realize that life isn't about making neat little plans, but rolling gracefully with the punches... but it wasn't all bad news coming out of that meeting with my pre-med advisor, he really helped me to see that although it won't be easy it's something i can definitely handle if i really push myself... all day today i've just been thinking how i want to restructure my life and in the process i ended up stressing out and just thinknig about how there is just no time for me to do all i need to get done... anywho, i realized that all these little things can't be dealt with all at once like i want to and that i really do need to take my time enjoy it because i will only be given this opprotunity once.. special thanks to my wifey steph ng, philip, and my roomie for listening to my pyscho-babble... i know i tend to react and then think afterwards... =)
i never really understood the old cliche "to take life one day at a time" and i think today i'm finally starting to realize the true meaning of it... after going to my pre-med advisor today i've come to the conclusion life doesn't always go according to plan... case in point, according to my original plan i was going to graduate in 4 years take a year off to play or whatever and then dive into med school... but now it doesn't seem so clear cut as it used to be... now i'm coming to grips with the possibility i may not get into the med school of my choice which really makes me question my abilities... but after thinking, thinking, more thinking, and talking upon talking my friend's have helped me to realize that life isn't about making neat little plans, but rolling gracefully with the punches... but it wasn't all bad news coming out of that meeting with my pre-med advisor, he really helped me to see that although it won't be easy it's something i can definitely handle if i really push myself... all day today i've just been thinking how i want to restructure my life and in the process i ended up stressing out and just thinknig about how there is just no time for me to do all i need to get done... anywho, i realized that all these little things can't be dealt with all at once like i want to and that i really do need to take my time enjoy it because i will only be given this opprotunity once.. special thanks to my wifey steph ng, philip, and my roomie for listening to my pyscho-babble... i know i tend to react and then think afterwards... =)
Saturday, November 03, 2001
Life Proceeds
well, the news wasn't great when i went into academic advising today... in fact, the news hit me hard and quite honestly disrupted my nice little neat plan i had for college and my career in general... however in hindsight thanks to some very good friends i've come to the realization that is just merely a set back and nothing much i can do to change the facts... without getting into too many details today i received the wake-up call i had been waiting for... i went to the bookstore bought up some fatty fat mcat prep books, looked for some prep classes to enroll in, and got two chapters from my mcat review outta the way... afterwards i felt much better and in fact got back into the groove with my "family" whom i rarely see because of our busy schedules... tomorrow looks like it might be another saturday study session, but we'll see how it turns out... i think i can sleep happy tonight knowing that my best really is good enough... =)
well, the news wasn't great when i went into academic advising today... in fact, the news hit me hard and quite honestly disrupted my nice little neat plan i had for college and my career in general... however in hindsight thanks to some very good friends i've come to the realization that is just merely a set back and nothing much i can do to change the facts... without getting into too many details today i received the wake-up call i had been waiting for... i went to the bookstore bought up some fatty fat mcat prep books, looked for some prep classes to enroll in, and got two chapters from my mcat review outta the way... afterwards i felt much better and in fact got back into the groove with my "family" whom i rarely see because of our busy schedules... tomorrow looks like it might be another saturday study session, but we'll see how it turns out... i think i can sleep happy tonight knowing that my best really is good enough... =)
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
untitled
last friday marked another great day at disneyland with the initiation of Tricia into our annual disneyland pass club... it's was pretty funny how she ended up buying a pass.. she tried to get in using our friend's pass (who incidently is a guy) and she was immediately stopped in her tracks.. but she was a good actress and claimed she had taken her boyfriend's pass by mistake... very believable... but anyways, for halloween/christmas ( i don't think those two holidays go together very well...) they've totally changed the haunted mansion into The Nightmare Before Christmas... i was little skeptical about it but after going through it i can say disney did alright in comparison to the crap ass job they did with moving the main street electrical parade to california adventure...
in other news, i have finally fingured out Dumpling Inn's recipe for scallion beef... yeah! i was actually inspired to try it once more after looking through some recipes for orange chicken when i read over the ingredients which included ginger... so i decided to use ginger and low and behold scallion beef was created in my very own kitchen...
so check this out i gave my roomie david a haircut at about 3 in the morning a couple days ago... it was the first time i've ever cut hair and the only real experience i've had is all the haircuts i've had before... actually i think if i can just get a little more practice i could start cutting other people's hair or at least cut my roomie's hair on a regular basis since he doesn't pay to get his haircut... anywho, in terms of school my academic life goes on and graduation is quickly approaching... in fact, i'm quite frightened at the prospect of being school-less for a year inbetween graduation and med school... i honestly don't know what i want to do... part of me wants to just find a real job while the other part is saying just lay low and relax... but after living away from home for the very first time i know that i don't want to go back and i really hope that when next year comes along i'll be living with my roomies still... but we'll see how the melody of life plays itself out...
last friday marked another great day at disneyland with the initiation of Tricia into our annual disneyland pass club... it's was pretty funny how she ended up buying a pass.. she tried to get in using our friend's pass (who incidently is a guy) and she was immediately stopped in her tracks.. but she was a good actress and claimed she had taken her boyfriend's pass by mistake... very believable... but anyways, for halloween/christmas ( i don't think those two holidays go together very well...) they've totally changed the haunted mansion into The Nightmare Before Christmas... i was little skeptical about it but after going through it i can say disney did alright in comparison to the crap ass job they did with moving the main street electrical parade to california adventure...
in other news, i have finally fingured out Dumpling Inn's recipe for scallion beef... yeah! i was actually inspired to try it once more after looking through some recipes for orange chicken when i read over the ingredients which included ginger... so i decided to use ginger and low and behold scallion beef was created in my very own kitchen...
so check this out i gave my roomie david a haircut at about 3 in the morning a couple days ago... it was the first time i've ever cut hair and the only real experience i've had is all the haircuts i've had before... actually i think if i can just get a little more practice i could start cutting other people's hair or at least cut my roomie's hair on a regular basis since he doesn't pay to get his haircut... anywho, in terms of school my academic life goes on and graduation is quickly approaching... in fact, i'm quite frightened at the prospect of being school-less for a year inbetween graduation and med school... i honestly don't know what i want to do... part of me wants to just find a real job while the other part is saying just lay low and relax... but after living away from home for the very first time i know that i don't want to go back and i really hope that when next year comes along i'll be living with my roomies still... but we'll see how the melody of life plays itself out...
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
5, 4, 3, 2...
well, the countdown has begun to my last midterm in ~33 hours... it's about 1:20 in the morning and i can't seem to get into sleepmode... you know, it's when you want to sleep because you know you should but random thoughts are just running through your head?
hmmm... as i was writing this my roomie steph came home and now i'm just wide awake... i guess this means i'll try to study myself to sleep...
well, the countdown has begun to my last midterm in ~33 hours... it's about 1:20 in the morning and i can't seem to get into sleepmode... you know, it's when you want to sleep because you know you should but random thoughts are just running through your head?
hmmm... as i was writing this my roomie steph came home and now i'm just wide awake... i guess this means i'll try to study myself to sleep...
Friday, October 19, 2001
I'm older
Well it's been a long time coming , but i've finally gathered the strength to write...
october 9th was my 21st birthday and my roomies threw me a surprise party which i managed to figure out since i came home unexpectedly... nevertheless the thought and execution was perfect. =) and let me just say i'm totally in love with all my roomies, all 8 of them, for being so fun and sweet on my bday. anywho, i'm in the middle of midterms and i have one more to go this week... i'll keep it short and sweet... good luck for those of you with midterms and paper's due this week...
Well it's been a long time coming , but i've finally gathered the strength to write...
october 9th was my 21st birthday and my roomies threw me a surprise party which i managed to figure out since i came home unexpectedly... nevertheless the thought and execution was perfect. =) and let me just say i'm totally in love with all my roomies, all 8 of them, for being so fun and sweet on my bday. anywho, i'm in the middle of midterms and i have one more to go this week... i'll keep it short and sweet... good luck for those of you with midterms and paper's due this week...
Tuesday, October 02, 2001
Feeling the burn
Well, it's monday night/tuesday morning and i'm definately feeling the pressure of the quarter... by my estimations i think i should be getting to bed by 5 if i'm lucky enough to finish my reading... but oddly i'm not stressed out... usually when my life gets to the point like this i'm bawling my eyes out by the end of the night because i hate it so much, but strangely i'm content and quite proud of the fact i study every night... unfortunately this life of studying and APSA organizing has left hardly any room for socialization... it seriously hurts to not be able to hang out with my family every night like the "old" times... but like philip said eventually peter pan must leave never never land... i just didn't think it would be this soon... *sigh*
in between my study times however i've been able to really discover the fact that i love living with my roomies... each of them is so dynamic and i honestly don't think i could've planned it out any better... we've done so much already together and it'll be a shame when steph leaves our happy home... we've cooked, laughed, played, cried, and i just love em! "that's my roomie! all 8 of them!"
Well, it's monday night/tuesday morning and i'm definately feeling the pressure of the quarter... by my estimations i think i should be getting to bed by 5 if i'm lucky enough to finish my reading... but oddly i'm not stressed out... usually when my life gets to the point like this i'm bawling my eyes out by the end of the night because i hate it so much, but strangely i'm content and quite proud of the fact i study every night... unfortunately this life of studying and APSA organizing has left hardly any room for socialization... it seriously hurts to not be able to hang out with my family every night like the "old" times... but like philip said eventually peter pan must leave never never land... i just didn't think it would be this soon... *sigh*
in between my study times however i've been able to really discover the fact that i love living with my roomies... each of them is so dynamic and i honestly don't think i could've planned it out any better... we've done so much already together and it'll be a shame when steph leaves our happy home... we've cooked, laughed, played, cried, and i just love em! "that's my roomie! all 8 of them!"
Sunday, September 30, 2001
2nd Week
it's about two in the morning sunday and i canot sleep... this is due to the fact that i took a nap late in the afternoon and now i can't get to sleep... i hate when that happens, it just messes up my sleep cycle. (not that it was normal to begin with)... looking at what needs to get done i realize that this will definately be a busy year... if i can make it out on top then i can truly say i'm a worthy pre-med student... God give me the strength i need to go on and the patience to see it through...
it's about two in the morning sunday and i canot sleep... this is due to the fact that i took a nap late in the afternoon and now i can't get to sleep... i hate when that happens, it just messes up my sleep cycle. (not that it was normal to begin with)... looking at what needs to get done i realize that this will definately be a busy year... if i can make it out on top then i can truly say i'm a worthy pre-med student... God give me the strength i need to go on and the patience to see it through...
Tuesday, September 25, 2001
First Week
it's the first day of the first week of school and i'm still up studying... bleh... sucks, huh? and i'm still far from finishing this reading i said i'd finish... i guess it would be partially my fault since i didn't get all my books today, but still i have tons of reading to finish...
this morning me and roomies were having breakfast today and i came to the realization that i'm slowly turning into my parents... no longer do i settle for microwave burritos or instance TV dinners i need to eat real food.. meaning food that is actually prepared and cooked by hand... not to say i don't enjoy my fair share of McDonalds, but overall if given the choice i'd prefer to take the time it takes to prepare a good meal than to zap something in the microwave... yeah, just the other day i was shopping in 99 ranch and i picked out vegetables, meat, and lots of different things my mommy usually buys to make her home cooking... i felt so adult! =)... well, i better finish off this study break and get back to reading about bacteria...
it's the first day of the first week of school and i'm still up studying... bleh... sucks, huh? and i'm still far from finishing this reading i said i'd finish... i guess it would be partially my fault since i didn't get all my books today, but still i have tons of reading to finish...
this morning me and roomies were having breakfast today and i came to the realization that i'm slowly turning into my parents... no longer do i settle for microwave burritos or instance TV dinners i need to eat real food.. meaning food that is actually prepared and cooked by hand... not to say i don't enjoy my fair share of McDonalds, but overall if given the choice i'd prefer to take the time it takes to prepare a good meal than to zap something in the microwave... yeah, just the other day i was shopping in 99 ranch and i picked out vegetables, meat, and lots of different things my mommy usually buys to make her home cooking... i felt so adult! =)... well, i better finish off this study break and get back to reading about bacteria...
Saturday, September 22, 2001
mahal kita~
translation - "love you"... on the way back to home from disneyland today me and mayrin were just taking about how we talk to our parents and she happened to hear me being short on the phone with my mom... afterwards we talked a bit about my relationship with my parents and she told me in the end you never know if the last time you talk to your parents will the last time and so whenever she talks to her parents even if they were arguing she tells them that she loves them... so very true... the terrorist attacks last tuesday prove that you never know when the unexpected will strike.. in that respect i think i'll be telling more people that i love them... and you should do the same, starting with your parents... go call them up and tell them you love them even if you have to call for a stupid reason just to say it.... i for instance called my mommy to ask for money and then told her i loved her... you can pick your own way... =)
translation - "love you"... on the way back to home from disneyland today me and mayrin were just taking about how we talk to our parents and she happened to hear me being short on the phone with my mom... afterwards we talked a bit about my relationship with my parents and she told me in the end you never know if the last time you talk to your parents will the last time and so whenever she talks to her parents even if they were arguing she tells them that she loves them... so very true... the terrorist attacks last tuesday prove that you never know when the unexpected will strike.. in that respect i think i'll be telling more people that i love them... and you should do the same, starting with your parents... go call them up and tell them you love them even if you have to call for a stupid reason just to say it.... i for instance called my mommy to ask for money and then told her i loved her... you can pick your own way... =)
Thursday, September 20, 2001
Back to School
yes, some of you people didn't believe it was possible, but school is starting up again for me... technically the school year has already begun starting this week, week 0 out of our 10 week academic quarter... wow, if i get everything done correctly this should be my last year and then it's off into the real world... pretty frightening stuff... times like this i wish was 5 years old again but with the mental capacity to truly enjoy it... oh yeah, check out and see how much you're worth at in the apartment we're seeing how much everyone is worth... presently the rankings go phil, steph a., me, mayrin, and david... we all range from ~$2,200,000 to ~$1,600,000.... well, time to get some rest before my big first day of school =)
yes, some of you people didn't believe it was possible, but school is starting up again for me... technically the school year has already begun starting this week, week 0 out of our 10 week academic quarter... wow, if i get everything done correctly this should be my last year and then it's off into the real world... pretty frightening stuff... times like this i wish was 5 years old again but with the mental capacity to truly enjoy it... oh yeah, check out and see how much you're worth at in the apartment we're seeing how much everyone is worth... presently the rankings go phil, steph a., me, mayrin, and david... we all range from ~$2,200,000 to ~$1,600,000.... well, time to get some rest before my big first day of school =)
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
Now I know...
why computer programmers in general are so fat... i spent the majority of my day inside the apartment today working on APSA flyers, newsletter and updating my PDA and while i was doing that I was eating, constantly... if i wasn't having a carne asada taco then it was guacamole + chips or fried rice and bbq pork... but on the good side I've been drinking plenty of water so i'll be a hydrated fatty fat...
why computer programmers in general are so fat... i spent the majority of my day inside the apartment today working on APSA flyers, newsletter and updating my PDA and while i was doing that I was eating, constantly... if i wasn't having a carne asada taco then it was guacamole + chips or fried rice and bbq pork... but on the good side I've been drinking plenty of water so i'll be a hydrated fatty fat...
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Back in the Groove
after going through a pretty down week my life has returned to some normalcy, despite what's going on on the east coast. having finally talked to my closest friends I was able to get a better understanding of myself and what i really wanted.... in the end, i'm much more happier and more content with who i am and i shouldn't be mad or upset at what i feel are shortcomings because frankly to others they're just trivial little things... and just cuz i never say it enough "i love you guys"...
tonight theTriple K Mah Jong group began it's second week pre-season game which started off slow and ended quite early by our standards but, it's still only pre-season and we have all year to play! unfortunately one of our own is MIA in japan and we've been combing to find a suitable replacement... which reminds me i need to get a set for myself... damn those american mah jong sets... if i could only find one without the numbers written in the corner. (sorry agnes...)
despite returning to normal, happy life my family at home goes through more drama with my younger brother as he struggles to get through all his high school drama shit... it's seriously funny how different me and my younger brother are... after seeing what my brother is capable of doing i know we are definately as opposite as two sides of a coin... a couple of nights ago my bro decided to sneak out of the house and go for a joy ride... not only did he not have car insurance, but he decided to take out my mom's car at 2 in the morning despite the fact there is a curfew for minors after 10 pm... and all he had to say for himself was that he just wanted to get a hamburger and drive around by himself... needless to say my mom doesn't believe a word he said... and i honestly don't know what to do with him... i just hope that this is the worst of his high school drama shit... cuz i'd hate to see what else he could do... aiyo~...
after going through a pretty down week my life has returned to some normalcy, despite what's going on on the east coast. having finally talked to my closest friends I was able to get a better understanding of myself and what i really wanted.... in the end, i'm much more happier and more content with who i am and i shouldn't be mad or upset at what i feel are shortcomings because frankly to others they're just trivial little things... and just cuz i never say it enough "i love you guys"...
tonight theTriple K Mah Jong group began it's second week pre-season game which started off slow and ended quite early by our standards but, it's still only pre-season and we have all year to play! unfortunately one of our own is MIA in japan and we've been combing to find a suitable replacement... which reminds me i need to get a set for myself... damn those american mah jong sets... if i could only find one without the numbers written in the corner. (sorry agnes...)
despite returning to normal, happy life my family at home goes through more drama with my younger brother as he struggles to get through all his high school drama shit... it's seriously funny how different me and my younger brother are... after seeing what my brother is capable of doing i know we are definately as opposite as two sides of a coin... a couple of nights ago my bro decided to sneak out of the house and go for a joy ride... not only did he not have car insurance, but he decided to take out my mom's car at 2 in the morning despite the fact there is a curfew for minors after 10 pm... and all he had to say for himself was that he just wanted to get a hamburger and drive around by himself... needless to say my mom doesn't believe a word he said... and i honestly don't know what to do with him... i just hope that this is the worst of his high school drama shit... cuz i'd hate to see what else he could do... aiyo~...
Saturday, September 15, 2001
no good
yesterday i didn't get to bed till 7am... tonight looks like it may be the same time.. i thought that maybe being by myself would help me, but the tension is still there and i think i've just made myself sick... my appetite has gone and i've only eaten once today... what bugs me the most is i can't let go of this feeling i have in my gut despite how hard i try... i can't even let it go for a second long enough to let myself find peace to sleep... the tension builds and pretty soon it will need to be released one way or another... i don't know what how my emotions will effect my relationships with others... in fact today i blew off going to dim sum with rosie which i feel extremely guilty for and i shut everyone out of my life for a day by turning off my cell phone and staying in my room... in fact, i think some friends wanted me to go to LA with them but i just never returned their call... i really i could get over this and get back to normal... to me this is big, but to others it my seem trivial and that's why i think i refrain from sharing it... i give much love to my roomie steph who has listened to me and shared her feelings on the subject... i really can't describe the how much i appreciate the support you've given me... *sigh* usually around this time i would be playing around and enjoying summer, but instead i sit here wondering why the fuck i feel the way i do...
yesterday i didn't get to bed till 7am... tonight looks like it may be the same time.. i thought that maybe being by myself would help me, but the tension is still there and i think i've just made myself sick... my appetite has gone and i've only eaten once today... what bugs me the most is i can't let go of this feeling i have in my gut despite how hard i try... i can't even let it go for a second long enough to let myself find peace to sleep... the tension builds and pretty soon it will need to be released one way or another... i don't know what how my emotions will effect my relationships with others... in fact today i blew off going to dim sum with rosie which i feel extremely guilty for and i shut everyone out of my life for a day by turning off my cell phone and staying in my room... in fact, i think some friends wanted me to go to LA with them but i just never returned their call... i really i could get over this and get back to normal... to me this is big, but to others it my seem trivial and that's why i think i refrain from sharing it... i give much love to my roomie steph who has listened to me and shared her feelings on the subject... i really can't describe the how much i appreciate the support you've given me... *sigh* usually around this time i would be playing around and enjoying summer, but instead i sit here wondering why the fuck i feel the way i do...
Friday, September 14, 2001
It's 3 o'clock...
in the morning and i'm still wide and awake... the apartment is missing jasmine and david, but at the same time has gotten mayrin and phil (the "other" roomies)... i just got back from having a great talk with roomie steph and it's just gotten the wheels in my head thinking... i've started to analyze myself and honestly i don't like what i see... i really don't know how to get my thought processes adequately protrayed on this forum... it's so frustrating to have these thoughts in my head and no way of letting them out... and perhaps it's always been that way... i've always been a person to keep thoughts to myself and not let the world in... when asked simple questions like what's your favorite movie or what would you like do? i freeze... i think about these answers which should come easily to me... you'd think this type of response would come from talking to a stranger, but they occur when talking to some of the closest people in my life... it scares me to think that these people whom i love and care about I can never really express to them what i'm feeling or even share my deepest and most intimate thoughts... honestly, with my best friends i've never really discussed issues of relationships, their personal lives, or the small details of one's life you share with someone you trust... i wonder soemtimes if its because i'm not someone who they can trust or is it because i'm someone who just can't share those things.... my hands are shaking as i type this and really hurts knowing that this strong silent type i've become to be has isolated me from people i love... on the outside i have friends and family surrounding me and yes i interact with them on a daily basis... they are the faces i look forward to seeing everyday and yet through all the good times i've had with these people i can never really say with absolute certainty that they know me inside and out and vesa versa... that perhaps the reason why at this present moment i can't find solace in anyone... i doubt anyone close to me has ever really seen me lose my composture or even told the nitty gritty of the girls i've had crushes on... it's tragic almost, to have a best friend who has never known the that type of information which is so common amongst others... and yes i know i'm rambling on and on.. and probably by the time i wake up tomorrow I'll feel happy again but honesty i really wish i could get over this... i know eventually someone will read this and find pity or whatever and see to it they talk to me and see "what's up..." but i can't say that this openess i long for will come to them so easily...
i'm reminded of finals week last quarter and I was studying by myself in my honey's bedroom while the kids played in the other room... i guess steph could tell i was upset and she asked me what was wrong and like always i just told her nothing... she again before she left and she head the anil on the head by calling me out and saying that i was the the type of person to hold in their feelings... at that moment i just wanted to open up to her and tell her everything i was feeling... but that voice inside held my voice tight and i simply nodded and went back to studying... when she left i was so angry at myself for not saying a word... angry at the times when otehrs have offered their ear and i simply gave it back to them... the stress of it nearly drove me to insanity until 5 muinutes later i did the only thing i could think of... it wasn't to go over to the next room and talk to my friends, it was to just sit and cry... keep my feelings inside and not let the world see my suffering... i just sat there and cried... the tears flowed like words i wished i had said... it's kinda funny too the way i cry... it's not really a weepy kind of cry or even loud for that matter... i just sat there and let the tears flow... very much like my personality, quiet at times... when i was done i walked to the bathroom washed my face and made sure to hide the signs of my pain... i even made sure my eyes weren't red and if anyone asked i would just say i was tired... it's so stupid... i guess being brought up as asian i was taught to never give anyone the burden of your problems, especially if you're a boy... from a young age i learned never to complain or say anything that would tend to upset others... as a result i'm a quiet, passive, and clam up when people want to talk.. granted you've all seen the opposite... the playful, loud, and talkative reggie... taking a hard look at myself i see that it's all merely a facade it seems... they say that comedians lead tragic lives and to some extent i feel as if they are right... i've begun to analyze my relationships with people and i see that hardly anyone i know has really sat with me and had a good long talk... not just about the current events but with everything and anything in their lives and in mine... to a greater extent i know much more about my friends than they know about me... and i think that statement says it all... what all this typing ends up to be... the fact that i as a person cannot communicate my feelings to other and to compensate i'm merely a sponge, i take it all in... i'm not saying i don't love to hear what my friends tell me because to know that people come to me and like the fact i can listen to them makes me happy... *sigh* it all makes so much more sense now.. the way my personality is at least... and the fact i don't have anyone to be with... and i really don't understand why... it fucking pisses me off that i can't have a friendship in which i feel perfectly at ease... not to say that i don't have friendships where i don't feel comfortable because i do,. but in the back of my head i know that there is this invisible barrier between us... this bridge we have yet to cross... i can see this is where i get my extreme jealously from... the fact that i feel so little makes me hold on to what i have even tighter... and anything that disturbs that i see as a threat to me... with my friends i'm like a bulldog, extremely protective of them... i'd give up my right arm to be with these people... argh, shit... i don't even know where i fucking going with this... let's just end it now by saying it's going to take a lot of time and strength for me to overcome this fear i have of sharing.. sharing my thoughts, secrets, friends, the intimate details which make up life....
it's 4 o'clock now and i just can't seem to release this stress... shoot me now someone... i have these wonderful friends in my life but in all honestly i feel as if i nothing more than an aquaintance to them.... i can't even talk to my parents... all they know of their son is that he's the pride of their family because he's the one going to med!, goddamnit... it's so stupid of me, to put my thoughts up this way, for the world to see... it would be much simpler to just walk into the next room and talk to them, but i can't i can't drive myself to do it... i think this is why sometimes i wait for people to make the first move versus myself... i can't get the inertia to do it... it's the numbing fear of getting rejected... i fear having to say meekly "it's okay, it's cool... i'm fine..." but knowing i should persue if it's wait i truely want...
the more i stay awake the more this problem persists... i can't shake it off... the picture is becoming clearer and i don't know how to react... i know what i want to say but can't say it... i can't even type it for fear of saying "too much"... it makes me mad that this stupid shit has ruined my composture... i'm actually shaking now... what's wrong with me? i'm I as emotionally unstable as i think i am? i think i'm going to take a drive...
i just got back from my drive... it's 5 am now... it did nothing.... i turned up the heat because i was shivering but it only made me sweat... it was almost like a 5 year old who runs away from home only to hide in the coat closet and come back 5 mins later... i have seriously never felt more depressed before in my life... and i know exactly why... this fucking sucks...
in the morning and i'm still wide and awake... the apartment is missing jasmine and david, but at the same time has gotten mayrin and phil (the "other" roomies)... i just got back from having a great talk with roomie steph and it's just gotten the wheels in my head thinking... i've started to analyze myself and honestly i don't like what i see... i really don't know how to get my thought processes adequately protrayed on this forum... it's so frustrating to have these thoughts in my head and no way of letting them out... and perhaps it's always been that way... i've always been a person to keep thoughts to myself and not let the world in... when asked simple questions like what's your favorite movie or what would you like do? i freeze... i think about these answers which should come easily to me... you'd think this type of response would come from talking to a stranger, but they occur when talking to some of the closest people in my life... it scares me to think that these people whom i love and care about I can never really express to them what i'm feeling or even share my deepest and most intimate thoughts... honestly, with my best friends i've never really discussed issues of relationships, their personal lives, or the small details of one's life you share with someone you trust... i wonder soemtimes if its because i'm not someone who they can trust or is it because i'm someone who just can't share those things.... my hands are shaking as i type this and really hurts knowing that this strong silent type i've become to be has isolated me from people i love... on the outside i have friends and family surrounding me and yes i interact with them on a daily basis... they are the faces i look forward to seeing everyday and yet through all the good times i've had with these people i can never really say with absolute certainty that they know me inside and out and vesa versa... that perhaps the reason why at this present moment i can't find solace in anyone... i doubt anyone close to me has ever really seen me lose my composture or even told the nitty gritty of the girls i've had crushes on... it's tragic almost, to have a best friend who has never known the that type of information which is so common amongst others... and yes i know i'm rambling on and on.. and probably by the time i wake up tomorrow I'll feel happy again but honesty i really wish i could get over this... i know eventually someone will read this and find pity or whatever and see to it they talk to me and see "what's up..." but i can't say that this openess i long for will come to them so easily...
i'm reminded of finals week last quarter and I was studying by myself in my honey's bedroom while the kids played in the other room... i guess steph could tell i was upset and she asked me what was wrong and like always i just told her nothing... she again before she left and she head the anil on the head by calling me out and saying that i was the the type of person to hold in their feelings... at that moment i just wanted to open up to her and tell her everything i was feeling... but that voice inside held my voice tight and i simply nodded and went back to studying... when she left i was so angry at myself for not saying a word... angry at the times when otehrs have offered their ear and i simply gave it back to them... the stress of it nearly drove me to insanity until 5 muinutes later i did the only thing i could think of... it wasn't to go over to the next room and talk to my friends, it was to just sit and cry... keep my feelings inside and not let the world see my suffering... i just sat there and cried... the tears flowed like words i wished i had said... it's kinda funny too the way i cry... it's not really a weepy kind of cry or even loud for that matter... i just sat there and let the tears flow... very much like my personality, quiet at times... when i was done i walked to the bathroom washed my face and made sure to hide the signs of my pain... i even made sure my eyes weren't red and if anyone asked i would just say i was tired... it's so stupid... i guess being brought up as asian i was taught to never give anyone the burden of your problems, especially if you're a boy... from a young age i learned never to complain or say anything that would tend to upset others... as a result i'm a quiet, passive, and clam up when people want to talk.. granted you've all seen the opposite... the playful, loud, and talkative reggie... taking a hard look at myself i see that it's all merely a facade it seems... they say that comedians lead tragic lives and to some extent i feel as if they are right... i've begun to analyze my relationships with people and i see that hardly anyone i know has really sat with me and had a good long talk... not just about the current events but with everything and anything in their lives and in mine... to a greater extent i know much more about my friends than they know about me... and i think that statement says it all... what all this typing ends up to be... the fact that i as a person cannot communicate my feelings to other and to compensate i'm merely a sponge, i take it all in... i'm not saying i don't love to hear what my friends tell me because to know that people come to me and like the fact i can listen to them makes me happy... *sigh* it all makes so much more sense now.. the way my personality is at least... and the fact i don't have anyone to be with... and i really don't understand why... it fucking pisses me off that i can't have a friendship in which i feel perfectly at ease... not to say that i don't have friendships where i don't feel comfortable because i do,. but in the back of my head i know that there is this invisible barrier between us... this bridge we have yet to cross... i can see this is where i get my extreme jealously from... the fact that i feel so little makes me hold on to what i have even tighter... and anything that disturbs that i see as a threat to me... with my friends i'm like a bulldog, extremely protective of them... i'd give up my right arm to be with these people... argh, shit... i don't even know where i fucking going with this... let's just end it now by saying it's going to take a lot of time and strength for me to overcome this fear i have of sharing.. sharing my thoughts, secrets, friends, the intimate details which make up life....
it's 4 o'clock now and i just can't seem to release this stress... shoot me now someone... i have these wonderful friends in my life but in all honestly i feel as if i nothing more than an aquaintance to them.... i can't even talk to my parents... all they know of their son is that he's the pride of their family because he's the one going to med!, goddamnit... it's so stupid of me, to put my thoughts up this way, for the world to see... it would be much simpler to just walk into the next room and talk to them, but i can't i can't drive myself to do it... i think this is why sometimes i wait for people to make the first move versus myself... i can't get the inertia to do it... it's the numbing fear of getting rejected... i fear having to say meekly "it's okay, it's cool... i'm fine..." but knowing i should persue if it's wait i truely want...
the more i stay awake the more this problem persists... i can't shake it off... the picture is becoming clearer and i don't know how to react... i know what i want to say but can't say it... i can't even type it for fear of saying "too much"... it makes me mad that this stupid shit has ruined my composture... i'm actually shaking now... what's wrong with me? i'm I as emotionally unstable as i think i am? i think i'm going to take a drive...
i just got back from my drive... it's 5 am now... it did nothing.... i turned up the heat because i was shivering but it only made me sweat... it was almost like a 5 year old who runs away from home only to hide in the coat closet and come back 5 mins later... i have seriously never felt more depressed before in my life... and i know exactly why... this fucking sucks...
Friday, August 31, 2001
Hot Video
for the most part my role in the apartment has been the slacker/infant while the adults of the apartment go to school and work... however, i do my part in the daily chores as well as cook the majority of the meals which should constitute being somewhat "adult-like" activity... today i was being much more productive as my buddy Ted can attest to.. i've been editting my summer videos and it's pretty tough... i worked on it the majority of the day and produced the first part of many up coming videos... but let's just say ~3 minutes of video took about the whole day to complete and ate up more than a CD-R's worth of memory since there was so much excess video that wasn't used... additionally my system became so unstable that everytime i tried to capture some video my computer would just reset itself... bleh... in the end though I'm very pleased with what i did and hope that what few minutes of footage i've made makes the people who watch it happy... now if i can only get my printer to work...
for the most part my role in the apartment has been the slacker/infant while the adults of the apartment go to school and work... however, i do my part in the daily chores as well as cook the majority of the meals which should constitute being somewhat "adult-like" activity... today i was being much more productive as my buddy Ted can attest to.. i've been editting my summer videos and it's pretty tough... i worked on it the majority of the day and produced the first part of many up coming videos... but let's just say ~3 minutes of video took about the whole day to complete and ate up more than a CD-R's worth of memory since there was so much excess video that wasn't used... additionally my system became so unstable that everytime i tried to capture some video my computer would just reset itself... bleh... in the end though I'm very pleased with what i did and hope that what few minutes of footage i've made makes the people who watch it happy... now if i can only get my printer to work...
Saturday, August 25, 2001
Dim Sum
the apartment is strangely quiet tonight... no other roomies and no Fun Crew Family... it's relaxing and although i would never want to have this much privacy all the time it's nice to have the place all to myself. albert my little bro from LA came down to visit and have lunch with me. his family treated me to dim sum at Jasmine and it was great. it's really interesting to see what type of things other people order while at dim sum. for instance, eating with the family I know exactly what types of dishes they like and of course it's always topped off with dan tao (egg tarts)... while working in LA we ate in Chinatown a couple of times and the sort of dishes we got varied a bit due to the fact our A factor* was low... of course we had the regular dishes like su mai and bbq pork but in addition more vegetable dishes and less of the more "exotic" foods like rice in lotus leaf and chicken feet... today while at dim sum the fare was again different... we ordered tripe which i haven't eaten in about a year and this time for dessert instead of dan tao we had silken tofu and mochi... anywho, just something i noticed to today while eating...
*while dining in LA me and a couple of friends came upon the secret factor in all asian restaraunts which determines the level of service you receive... we're still working on the full blown theory of the Asian Factor... it theory it works like this... the more asians you have in your group the better the service you'll receive in an asian restaraunt... you don't necessarialy need to be of that asian heritage to get good service... for all they know you could just be american born and never learned how to speak korean, japanese, chinese, tagalog, etc... the factor can also be affected positively if you can speak that particular language, conversely you can lower your A Factor by asking for a fork or doing other cultural no-no's... how to figure out your A Factor? just divide the total number in your dining party by the number of asians in your group... the closer your number is to 1 the better your chances are of getting great service... but there are always exceptions to the A Factor like if you go to a shitty place with shitty service your A Factor maybe unable to compensate for it although decreasing it may make your meal worse.. (ie. Hodori in Koreatown...) like i said before this theory is still in the testing stages...
the apartment is strangely quiet tonight... no other roomies and no Fun Crew Family... it's relaxing and although i would never want to have this much privacy all the time it's nice to have the place all to myself. albert my little bro from LA came down to visit and have lunch with me. his family treated me to dim sum at Jasmine and it was great. it's really interesting to see what type of things other people order while at dim sum. for instance, eating with the family I know exactly what types of dishes they like and of course it's always topped off with dan tao (egg tarts)... while working in LA we ate in Chinatown a couple of times and the sort of dishes we got varied a bit due to the fact our A factor* was low... of course we had the regular dishes like su mai and bbq pork but in addition more vegetable dishes and less of the more "exotic" foods like rice in lotus leaf and chicken feet... today while at dim sum the fare was again different... we ordered tripe which i haven't eaten in about a year and this time for dessert instead of dan tao we had silken tofu and mochi... anywho, just something i noticed to today while eating...
*while dining in LA me and a couple of friends came upon the secret factor in all asian restaraunts which determines the level of service you receive... we're still working on the full blown theory of the Asian Factor... it theory it works like this... the more asians you have in your group the better the service you'll receive in an asian restaraunt... you don't necessarialy need to be of that asian heritage to get good service... for all they know you could just be american born and never learned how to speak korean, japanese, chinese, tagalog, etc... the factor can also be affected positively if you can speak that particular language, conversely you can lower your A Factor by asking for a fork or doing other cultural no-no's... how to figure out your A Factor? just divide the total number in your dining party by the number of asians in your group... the closer your number is to 1 the better your chances are of getting great service... but there are always exceptions to the A Factor like if you go to a shitty place with shitty service your A Factor maybe unable to compensate for it although decreasing it may make your meal worse.. (ie. Hodori in Koreatown...) like i said before this theory is still in the testing stages...
Thursday, August 16, 2001
New Home
Well, today is the day... i've finished moving into my new apartment =) we're far from having the place fulled furnished, but this place is starting to look like a home... today i cooked my first dinner in the kitchen.. unfortunately, we were missing two roomies for dinner... bulgogi is the best! esp. when you cook it yourself... at the present moment i'm sitting in the living room watching a very tiny television with my roomie david, mayrin, and sonnier all on the couch behind me... david and mayrin will be going to the bay area tonight so this weekend I'll get the place all to myself with jasmine in LA... it really hasn't hit me yet that i'll be staying here for the rest of the year perhaps i'm running on my giddy fumes... =) okie.. i'm outtie...
Well, today is the day... i've finished moving into my new apartment =) we're far from having the place fulled furnished, but this place is starting to look like a home... today i cooked my first dinner in the kitchen.. unfortunately, we were missing two roomies for dinner... bulgogi is the best! esp. when you cook it yourself... at the present moment i'm sitting in the living room watching a very tiny television with my roomie david, mayrin, and sonnier all on the couch behind me... david and mayrin will be going to the bay area tonight so this weekend I'll get the place all to myself with jasmine in LA... it really hasn't hit me yet that i'll be staying here for the rest of the year perhaps i'm running on my giddy fumes... =) okie.. i'm outtie...
Sunday, August 05, 2001
Back home...
the events of today have been pretty much a blur... i mean just a couple of hours ago i was driving in my car down to Chinatown and now i'm back home in san diego with all my summer memories packed up in my car. (which has still yet to be upacked) =P`... during the day all i could think about was the fact i may never get a chance to see some of these people ever again... what compounded the feeling more was the fact that this will be my last summer in LA... it was surreal to walk down my familiar 3rd floor and remove all the decorations and signs... while i was signing some papers and turning in my key i felt as if i was going to cry right then and there.. *sigh* i'm such a sentimental... i've had so many great memories of the summer and countless adventures to recount so i won't even try... as soon as i can get my hands on my new computer I'll post up all my digital video for you all to enjoy =) to all those people who made my summer great i raise a glass to you =) and here's to... asian snacks, movie making, soapy fountains, find the SRA, glowsticks, RA Love, smoking tips, big fat stupid american, "shotgun!", YS socials, pornstar parking, instigating, the super bed, disneyland, bulgogi, noodle planet, "herro?!?", the chipmunks, henna tattoos, white tiger feet, pajama jam, the traitor, kiddie pool twister, woodchuck song, asian music appreciation, "oh man", "fabulous", and Fat Boy Slim Praise You...
lastly, much thanks to SES, sam and ted, you guys are my boys! it's seriously hard for me to put into words the kind of impact you made on my summer... honestly, if you two aren't planning to come back next year John Hopkins can cross me off the list too... wow, where do i begin to describe the summer we've had together?!? i think our friendship began that one day we went off to noodle planet to have lunch... nothing cements friendships better than food... *bulgogi, pad thai, curry, sushi, unagi, boba, ice cream, and dim sum* speaking of which i give mad props to you two for always spotting me when i was a poor bulgogi slut =) in addition to all the great food i'm going to remember smoking tips on out on the stairs and having puzzle fighter tournaments in my room... and of course all the nightly rounds around doheny... Ted aka. The Mean RA... damn you really had the spectrum of kids this summer... you started off with the worst kids in CTY and ended up loving them and then got little angels and you hated to be with them... hahaha =) make up your mind! i could always count on you as a weapon against my rowdiest kids and in trench you were a force not to be messed with... i'll definitely come to visit you whether yer in taiwan or at school... Sam aka. Samsung... together we've stolen from the rich and given to ourselves! =) i hope you put those dance moves i taught you to good use and be sure to throw some extra meat on your teppanyaki for me... i'll call you on my cool cordless phone in the near future... thanks for all the asian snacks and be sure to send my thanks to your family who i think are just the coolest family i've ever met.... bulgogi runs will never be the same without you... and if there is ever a next time around we're going to steal that "open trench" sign...
the events of today have been pretty much a blur... i mean just a couple of hours ago i was driving in my car down to Chinatown and now i'm back home in san diego with all my summer memories packed up in my car. (which has still yet to be upacked) =P`... during the day all i could think about was the fact i may never get a chance to see some of these people ever again... what compounded the feeling more was the fact that this will be my last summer in LA... it was surreal to walk down my familiar 3rd floor and remove all the decorations and signs... while i was signing some papers and turning in my key i felt as if i was going to cry right then and there.. *sigh* i'm such a sentimental... i've had so many great memories of the summer and countless adventures to recount so i won't even try... as soon as i can get my hands on my new computer I'll post up all my digital video for you all to enjoy =) to all those people who made my summer great i raise a glass to you =) and here's to... asian snacks, movie making, soapy fountains, find the SRA, glowsticks, RA Love, smoking tips, big fat stupid american, "shotgun!", YS socials, pornstar parking, instigating, the super bed, disneyland, bulgogi, noodle planet, "herro?!?", the chipmunks, henna tattoos, white tiger feet, pajama jam, the traitor, kiddie pool twister, woodchuck song, asian music appreciation, "oh man", "fabulous", and Fat Boy Slim Praise You...
lastly, much thanks to SES, sam and ted, you guys are my boys! it's seriously hard for me to put into words the kind of impact you made on my summer... honestly, if you two aren't planning to come back next year John Hopkins can cross me off the list too... wow, where do i begin to describe the summer we've had together?!? i think our friendship began that one day we went off to noodle planet to have lunch... nothing cements friendships better than food... *bulgogi, pad thai, curry, sushi, unagi, boba, ice cream, and dim sum* speaking of which i give mad props to you two for always spotting me when i was a poor bulgogi slut =) in addition to all the great food i'm going to remember smoking tips on out on the stairs and having puzzle fighter tournaments in my room... and of course all the nightly rounds around doheny... Ted aka. The Mean RA... damn you really had the spectrum of kids this summer... you started off with the worst kids in CTY and ended up loving them and then got little angels and you hated to be with them... hahaha =) make up your mind! i could always count on you as a weapon against my rowdiest kids and in trench you were a force not to be messed with... i'll definitely come to visit you whether yer in taiwan or at school... Sam aka. Samsung... together we've stolen from the rich and given to ourselves! =) i hope you put those dance moves i taught you to good use and be sure to throw some extra meat on your teppanyaki for me... i'll call you on my cool cordless phone in the near future... thanks for all the asian snacks and be sure to send my thanks to your family who i think are just the coolest family i've ever met.... bulgogi runs will never be the same without you... and if there is ever a next time around we're going to steal that "open trench" sign...
Friday, July 20, 2001
2nd Session Social
First off.. let me explain the premise of a social... for younger students who may be too intimidated to attend a "dance" the younger student staff uses the word social in its place... we basically show a movie and have games for the shy kiddies and we DJ a dance for the rest of them... tonight's social, Pajama Jam, was a great success due in part to the use of glowsticks by the kids... i really think the glowsticks helped the kids get over the barrier or dancing in front of their peers... anywho, i'm tired and hungry which means it's time for a bulgogi run with my boys =)..
First off.. let me explain the premise of a social... for younger students who may be too intimidated to attend a "dance" the younger student staff uses the word social in its place... we basically show a movie and have games for the shy kiddies and we DJ a dance for the rest of them... tonight's social, Pajama Jam, was a great success due in part to the use of glowsticks by the kids... i really think the glowsticks helped the kids get over the barrier or dancing in front of their peers... anywho, i'm tired and hungry which means it's time for a bulgogi run with my boys =)..
Thursday, July 19, 2001
Session 2, Day 5
Hi people! I apologize for not being able to update my blogs as often as i like but I've been very busy... we just got a new set of students for the second session of this camp... i truly and honest to god miss my old kids! it's kinda funny cuz i really couldn't stand them but not having the same old faces to look at made me sad... my new kids in comparison are actually very well behaved with the exception of two little bastards, but i still miss my old hall with all their imperfections...
aside from the kids i've made some pretty good friends with the people i'm working with... thanks god they've actually hired some asian people this time around... it's weird because the program has mostly white and asian kids in their classes, but last year there were only a handful of asian staff members... this time around i'm not the token asian staff member which is great... i've become pretty good friends with two other young student male RA's who are definitely making my summer lots of fun... although i hate to admit it we've become pretty clichish in our group... in fact we've named ourselves S.E.S. (korean music fans will be able to relate) and we make bulgogi runs on a nightly basis. Ted is a second year at Duke University but he's originally from Taiwan and Sam is a third year at Amhurst College. this past 4 weeks we've all gotten pretty close and it's sad to think in only 2 weeks we'll be going our separate ways... i'll post up the sticker pics as soon as i get back home and get a good computer which will hopefully be soon... today we made a trip to Santa Monica Pier where Ted decided to get a Henna Tatto.. it didn't turn out too well so i guess we're going back tomorrow to make the lady redo it for him... i'm deciding whether or not to get a cartilage piercing while i'm here in LA or a tat on my back... hmm...
anywho, yesterday SES went to the movies where ted had the bright idea to watch legally blonde.. although entertaining the movie wasn't oscar material... so now ted owes me and sam a movie next night out... jurassic park 3 here we come! =)
Hi people! I apologize for not being able to update my blogs as often as i like but I've been very busy... we just got a new set of students for the second session of this camp... i truly and honest to god miss my old kids! it's kinda funny cuz i really couldn't stand them but not having the same old faces to look at made me sad... my new kids in comparison are actually very well behaved with the exception of two little bastards, but i still miss my old hall with all their imperfections...
aside from the kids i've made some pretty good friends with the people i'm working with... thanks god they've actually hired some asian people this time around... it's weird because the program has mostly white and asian kids in their classes, but last year there were only a handful of asian staff members... this time around i'm not the token asian staff member which is great... i've become pretty good friends with two other young student male RA's who are definitely making my summer lots of fun... although i hate to admit it we've become pretty clichish in our group... in fact we've named ourselves S.E.S. (korean music fans will be able to relate) and we make bulgogi runs on a nightly basis. Ted is a second year at Duke University but he's originally from Taiwan and Sam is a third year at Amhurst College. this past 4 weeks we've all gotten pretty close and it's sad to think in only 2 weeks we'll be going our separate ways... i'll post up the sticker pics as soon as i get back home and get a good computer which will hopefully be soon... today we made a trip to Santa Monica Pier where Ted decided to get a Henna Tatto.. it didn't turn out too well so i guess we're going back tomorrow to make the lady redo it for him... i'm deciding whether or not to get a cartilage piercing while i'm here in LA or a tat on my back... hmm...
anywho, yesterday SES went to the movies where ted had the bright idea to watch legally blonde.. although entertaining the movie wasn't oscar material... so now ted owes me and sam a movie next night out... jurassic park 3 here we come! =)
Sunday, July 08, 2001
Day Off
Tomorrow is my first day off of the session and i'm pretty excited... i told my kids today that i was going to have a day off tomorrow and they all let out a little "awwww" when i told them. =) it's really good to know that your kids really like you and not just your tv... anywho, the plans are to go to magic mtn with ian and just have a day of fun.
my plans for working out everyday seem to be fading away fast... the only active stuff i've been doing thus far has been playing dodge ball, swimming, and dancing every friday night... so much for turning myself into a gymnatist over summer vacation... =P` oh yeah, on top of that i've developed an addiction to bulgogi... i think just about very night off i've been to Hodori, a 24 hour korean resteraunt, in Korea Town... i surprised they haven't dedicated a table to me yet... hahahha.... so yeah, i've been dubbed the bulgogi slut since the past two times we've been out i haven't had any money to pay for my food... don't worry though, it should be all good as long as i pay back the ppl that paid for my dinner... okie, i'm outtie.. me and ian are goig to kick it tonight an play some playstation and enjoy our day off! woo hoo!
Tomorrow is my first day off of the session and i'm pretty excited... i told my kids today that i was going to have a day off tomorrow and they all let out a little "awwww" when i told them. =) it's really good to know that your kids really like you and not just your tv... anywho, the plans are to go to magic mtn with ian and just have a day of fun.
my plans for working out everyday seem to be fading away fast... the only active stuff i've been doing thus far has been playing dodge ball, swimming, and dancing every friday night... so much for turning myself into a gymnatist over summer vacation... =P` oh yeah, on top of that i've developed an addiction to bulgogi... i think just about very night off i've been to Hodori, a 24 hour korean resteraunt, in Korea Town... i surprised they haven't dedicated a table to me yet... hahahha.... so yeah, i've been dubbed the bulgogi slut since the past two times we've been out i haven't had any money to pay for my food... don't worry though, it should be all good as long as i pay back the ppl that paid for my dinner... okie, i'm outtie.. me and ian are goig to kick it tonight an play some playstation and enjoy our day off! woo hoo!
Tuesday, July 03, 2001
Damn it's hot...
Well, the kids are finally asleep and i can sit down and collect thoughts.... the weather gods here is LA must be mad or something cuz they've just been giving us the most shitty weather possible.... it's hot and humid under a blanket of smog and cloud cover... not good weather for enjoying the summer... =P`... i just took a shower and already i feel sticky which means i'll be taking another shower before bedtime... ohhh... and just now i heard the clap of thunder.. looks like they'll be rain coming tonight...
today as an activity for the kids we're having them make their own movies... one of which is turning out to be really funny... my group of kids wants to make a movie about the Croc Hunter with a parody of the matrix and blair witch project all rolled into one... definitely something to watch when i come back home... anywho, last night me and some of the other RAs went to go watch A.I. articificial intelligence... let me just say the film is awesome... although i disapprove of the ending and the how long the movie was it was a very thought provoking movie which is what i loved about it... it's pretty funny how these kids are fascinated with the aspects of my social life... as i was leaving for the movies my kids spied on my from their rooms and somehow came to the conclusion i was on a double date with 2 of the female RAs working with me... in fact, today my kids said they were going to blackmail me with the "secret information" they had on me... i'm still on the fence about whether i like my kids or not...
in other news me and ian went to downtown LA to get some business finished with my CalVet college waiver stuff... we went to the franchise tax board office in this really big government building located in the heart of downtown... when me and ian got out of the elevator the heat of about 50 in line hit us... it was just a madhouse up in that mug! seriously, all those ppl stank... or at the least enough ppl were stank to make the whole damn place stank... so anyway, i made the executive decision to not wait in line and just explore downtown with ian... we didn't get to travel very far since we were sidetracked into the nearest McDonalds... however, i know me and ian will be hitting up downtown again to see what kind of bargains we can find on the streets... walking around for the short time we were there i noticed that downtown LA is so very different from the downtown in San Diego... besides the sheer size of the metropolis the whole dynamic of the city is very different... it's hard to explain but trust me the vibe is different...
Well, the kids are finally asleep and i can sit down and collect thoughts.... the weather gods here is LA must be mad or something cuz they've just been giving us the most shitty weather possible.... it's hot and humid under a blanket of smog and cloud cover... not good weather for enjoying the summer... =P`... i just took a shower and already i feel sticky which means i'll be taking another shower before bedtime... ohhh... and just now i heard the clap of thunder.. looks like they'll be rain coming tonight...
today as an activity for the kids we're having them make their own movies... one of which is turning out to be really funny... my group of kids wants to make a movie about the Croc Hunter with a parody of the matrix and blair witch project all rolled into one... definitely something to watch when i come back home... anywho, last night me and some of the other RAs went to go watch A.I. articificial intelligence... let me just say the film is awesome... although i disapprove of the ending and the how long the movie was it was a very thought provoking movie which is what i loved about it... it's pretty funny how these kids are fascinated with the aspects of my social life... as i was leaving for the movies my kids spied on my from their rooms and somehow came to the conclusion i was on a double date with 2 of the female RAs working with me... in fact, today my kids said they were going to blackmail me with the "secret information" they had on me... i'm still on the fence about whether i like my kids or not...
in other news me and ian went to downtown LA to get some business finished with my CalVet college waiver stuff... we went to the franchise tax board office in this really big government building located in the heart of downtown... when me and ian got out of the elevator the heat of about 50 in line hit us... it was just a madhouse up in that mug! seriously, all those ppl stank... or at the least enough ppl were stank to make the whole damn place stank... so anyway, i made the executive decision to not wait in line and just explore downtown with ian... we didn't get to travel very far since we were sidetracked into the nearest McDonalds... however, i know me and ian will be hitting up downtown again to see what kind of bargains we can find on the streets... walking around for the short time we were there i noticed that downtown LA is so very different from the downtown in San Diego... besides the sheer size of the metropolis the whole dynamic of the city is very different... it's hard to explain but trust me the vibe is different...
Sunday, July 01, 2001
Fun in the Sun
well, it's been a week since the kids have arrived and i'm dead beat tired... the RAs calculated we've spent a total of 60 hours straight with our kids this weekend... let me tell you, as much as i love my kids, this weekend was looooong... and let me tell you i'm glad that they'll be going back to class tomorrow. =) good news though, i'll be going with my class on their field trip to the LA museum of modern science and IMAX theater so it should be a fun day when we go...
the weather gods seem to be angry with us RAs because as soon as the kids left for study hall clouds and chilly winds came to LA... it was just in time to bring gray cover over the little pool party we had planned for... fun crew never lets gloomy weather get in the way of fun so we swam nevertheless and the water was quite refreshing.... tomorrow the plans are drive to downtown LA and find the california tax board office and get m tax return print out for my CALVet stuff... i think the sun has drained me of my energy to write creatively... anywho, check back often i should have some interesting happenings from my adventures in LA...
well, it's been a week since the kids have arrived and i'm dead beat tired... the RAs calculated we've spent a total of 60 hours straight with our kids this weekend... let me tell you, as much as i love my kids, this weekend was looooong... and let me tell you i'm glad that they'll be going back to class tomorrow. =) good news though, i'll be going with my class on their field trip to the LA museum of modern science and IMAX theater so it should be a fun day when we go...
the weather gods seem to be angry with us RAs because as soon as the kids left for study hall clouds and chilly winds came to LA... it was just in time to bring gray cover over the little pool party we had planned for... fun crew never lets gloomy weather get in the way of fun so we swam nevertheless and the water was quite refreshing.... tomorrow the plans are drive to downtown LA and find the california tax board office and get m tax return print out for my CALVet stuff... i think the sun has drained me of my energy to write creatively... anywho, check back often i should have some interesting happenings from my adventures in LA...
Wednesday, June 27, 2001
Still in Los Angeles
sorry about the really shitty blog last time... i was a bit tired and short on imagination... anywho, i'm back to normal... somewhat. this year i don't seem to have the same energy i had for my kids that i did back last year... i'm constantly tired now and i i honestly don't look forward to seeing my kids after they come back from classes... i think they should just pay me to kick it with all the RAs which is definitly the best part of this experience... well, i failed to mention a couple of things in my last blog so i'll try to cover them in this one since i don't know when i'll update this thing again...
well, during our orientation period a male RA position opened up so i decided to bring up ian's name since he lives in LA anyways... anyways, i'm sure you've guess what i was about to say anyway which is Ian was hired! =) he actually works with the older students so i don't see him that often although me and him are working on this weekend's casino night... i'm sure you want to hear all the stories i have about my new kids and definitely i do have stories to tell... let me start off with the kids who i think are so cool that if i could i would shrink them and take them bake home with me... there's this one little chinese boy from england who has the just about the most cute accent i've heard on a kid... it's hard to convey his cuteness factor into words but trust me, if they made a little action figure of this boy it would be the next tickle me elmo... in terms of my past kids it's really weird to see how they've all grown bigger... it's pretty cool though to be able to talk to my former kids and see how their year was and to see how i compare as an RA... hahahaha...
apsa dance routine mafia hits los angeles! i've begun to train a new army of dancers for the summer... for a weekly activity me and my friend sarah have taken upon ourselves to teach hip hop dance to these kids... although not quite up to 220 material they're getting there...
anywho, today was mandatory fun day for the young student RA's... we spent the day at the beach relaxing and talking about how much we can't stand our kids... =P`... dude, these kids have just sucked the creativity out of me... this blog is pretty shitty... no detail or anything really interesting... well... my day off is coming up on the 9th and the plans thus far are to sleep in and hit up magic mtn with ian and hopefully anyone else who would be interested... the weather here in La has been pretty strange either it's super hot or cool and chilly... decide already mother nature! being out in the sun isn't good for my skin either... the farmer's tan i got last summer was slowly fading away but now has come back with a vengene ever since the southern california sun got a hold of me... damnit! anywho, i'm tired, sticky, and need my nap cuz i'm getting cranky... until next time... matta!
sorry about the really shitty blog last time... i was a bit tired and short on imagination... anywho, i'm back to normal... somewhat. this year i don't seem to have the same energy i had for my kids that i did back last year... i'm constantly tired now and i i honestly don't look forward to seeing my kids after they come back from classes... i think they should just pay me to kick it with all the RAs which is definitly the best part of this experience... well, i failed to mention a couple of things in my last blog so i'll try to cover them in this one since i don't know when i'll update this thing again...
well, during our orientation period a male RA position opened up so i decided to bring up ian's name since he lives in LA anyways... anyways, i'm sure you've guess what i was about to say anyway which is Ian was hired! =) he actually works with the older students so i don't see him that often although me and him are working on this weekend's casino night... i'm sure you want to hear all the stories i have about my new kids and definitely i do have stories to tell... let me start off with the kids who i think are so cool that if i could i would shrink them and take them bake home with me... there's this one little chinese boy from england who has the just about the most cute accent i've heard on a kid... it's hard to convey his cuteness factor into words but trust me, if they made a little action figure of this boy it would be the next tickle me elmo... in terms of my past kids it's really weird to see how they've all grown bigger... it's pretty cool though to be able to talk to my former kids and see how their year was and to see how i compare as an RA... hahahaha...
apsa dance routine mafia hits los angeles! i've begun to train a new army of dancers for the summer... for a weekly activity me and my friend sarah have taken upon ourselves to teach hip hop dance to these kids... although not quite up to 220 material they're getting there...
anywho, today was mandatory fun day for the young student RA's... we spent the day at the beach relaxing and talking about how much we can't stand our kids... =P`... dude, these kids have just sucked the creativity out of me... this blog is pretty shitty... no detail or anything really interesting... well... my day off is coming up on the 9th and the plans thus far are to sleep in and hit up magic mtn with ian and hopefully anyone else who would be interested... the weather here in La has been pretty strange either it's super hot or cool and chilly... decide already mother nature! being out in the sun isn't good for my skin either... the farmer's tan i got last summer was slowly fading away but now has come back with a vengene ever since the southern california sun got a hold of me... damnit! anywho, i'm tired, sticky, and need my nap cuz i'm getting cranky... until next time... matta!
Monday, June 25, 2001
Los Angeles
well, i arrived in los angeles on thursday and my trusted celica was filled to the brim with all my junk. (ie. computer, tv, vcr, clothes, etc etc) i'm really quite surprised it all fit. the first couple of days i really didn't spend much time getting to know the new young student male RAs which i felt sorta guilty for, but no biggie... we're now all friends =) tunday the students arrived and surprisingly all the students on my hall make up the whole classroom. that poor instructor, she's left with 15 very rowdy boys. luckily my kids aren't all that bad in fact they are all pretty well behaved. however, i'm debating whether or not my choice of wanting children is such a good one... i see how the bads ones can turn out...it's like having 15 big babies.. puahahaha jk.
aside from the children... the people i'm working with are awesome, basically everyone is new except for a few old returners who are looked upon with great diginity and wisdom...=) today the male RAs went down to westwood to do some lunch time bonding over lunch at noodle planet... we didn't get to make a side trip to dede reese because we were sidetracked by boba which wasn't as good as the stuff from green tea house... currently the phones on my hall are all broke and my key still doesn't open the front door to my building which was gotten to be a real bitch... anywho, i'll update you all on my adventures in LA as soon as i find some more free time... i think i've left my hall unattended long enough....
well, i arrived in los angeles on thursday and my trusted celica was filled to the brim with all my junk. (ie. computer, tv, vcr, clothes, etc etc) i'm really quite surprised it all fit. the first couple of days i really didn't spend much time getting to know the new young student male RAs which i felt sorta guilty for, but no biggie... we're now all friends =) tunday the students arrived and surprisingly all the students on my hall make up the whole classroom. that poor instructor, she's left with 15 very rowdy boys. luckily my kids aren't all that bad in fact they are all pretty well behaved. however, i'm debating whether or not my choice of wanting children is such a good one... i see how the bads ones can turn out...it's like having 15 big babies.. puahahaha jk.
aside from the children... the people i'm working with are awesome, basically everyone is new except for a few old returners who are looked upon with great diginity and wisdom...=) today the male RAs went down to westwood to do some lunch time bonding over lunch at noodle planet... we didn't get to make a side trip to dede reese because we were sidetracked by boba which wasn't as good as the stuff from green tea house... currently the phones on my hall are all broke and my key still doesn't open the front door to my building which was gotten to be a real bitch... anywho, i'll update you all on my adventures in LA as soon as i find some more free time... i think i've left my hall unattended long enough....
Tuesday, June 19, 2001
The End of an Era
As you can tell from my past recent blogs the general theme of them has something do to with the closing of the school year and beginning of summer break. In following with the general theme of things we come to the packing up and moving out of a year's worth of memories. Well, tonight marked the last night Fun Crew (minus one) will ever spend in International Gardens. Granted when i was saying my goodbyes the significance of tonight really didn't hit me until now. Thinking back, i'm seriously going to miss the place I called "home". Undoubtedly the downstairs neighbors won't give it a second thought that their noisy upstairs neighbors will be finding another place to reside this coming fall or that they mysteriously gained two male roommates half way during the year. i'm going to miss being able to come home and take a nap after a long day of classes while watching tv with my partner in crime. Who can forget the countless late night/early morning sessions of just pure fun crew quality time. You should never underestimate the fun that can occur from 4 college students who don't want to be studying. Although the place lacked a living room we definitely "broke in" both Mayrin's and Steph's room. We added our own signatures to the place with pictures, socks n' underwear, forgetten items, and bags of McDonalds. In all the nights of fun and craziness we've had in that apt i don't think we've ever had drinks together at home which goes to show we can have our own fun without alcohol... Even though it was a bitch driving over all those speed bumps to get to home, it was nice to be able to have a parking spot to call my own. good old spaces #1 and #2 =)
here's to... afternoon naps*late night boba runs*analysis of dawson's creek*passions in the afternoon*apt basketball*high speed internet*weakest link*the daily routine (coming in, taking off shoes, putting stuff on desk, using the bathroom, crashing on the bed)*fun boys to bitch boys*printing schedules for the vp's*spring break planning*talking till 5 in the morning*timely farts*sleeping with a lawn mower*having the apt to myself*fun crew quality time*quality family time*LPCing it*speaking Mayrinese*3 flights of stairs*opening cotton fruit*washing cars*composing destiny's child road trip song*grad banquet meetings*reliving our teenage years with fresh prince and saved by the bell*bitching about school work*mayrin's tan and tatt*wall o' philip*mommy, daddy, big sis, and baby*messing with AIM*jumping on the bed*waking up neighbors*fire alarms while dying hair*and smiling just becuase i'm with you guys*
it still never ceases to amaze me that in such a short period of time people can get so close to each other... when friends can read you to the point where they know what you're going to do even before you do it that's something special... and maybe it's because we spend so much damn time together, but to be honest I never get tried of coming home... although at times i feel that i shouldn't go or that i'm not in the mood...but once i'm there it tears me apart to leave...
okie okie, i think i've saturated you all with enough romantizism of Mayrin and Steph's apartment... just wanted to conclude this by saying it's not so much the place that made it special but the people in it... =) next time i'll be reporting to you all from LA!
As you can tell from my past recent blogs the general theme of them has something do to with the closing of the school year and beginning of summer break. In following with the general theme of things we come to the packing up and moving out of a year's worth of memories. Well, tonight marked the last night Fun Crew (minus one) will ever spend in International Gardens. Granted when i was saying my goodbyes the significance of tonight really didn't hit me until now. Thinking back, i'm seriously going to miss the place I called "home". Undoubtedly the downstairs neighbors won't give it a second thought that their noisy upstairs neighbors will be finding another place to reside this coming fall or that they mysteriously gained two male roommates half way during the year. i'm going to miss being able to come home and take a nap after a long day of classes while watching tv with my partner in crime. Who can forget the countless late night/early morning sessions of just pure fun crew quality time. You should never underestimate the fun that can occur from 4 college students who don't want to be studying. Although the place lacked a living room we definitely "broke in" both Mayrin's and Steph's room. We added our own signatures to the place with pictures, socks n' underwear, forgetten items, and bags of McDonalds. In all the nights of fun and craziness we've had in that apt i don't think we've ever had drinks together at home which goes to show we can have our own fun without alcohol... Even though it was a bitch driving over all those speed bumps to get to home, it was nice to be able to have a parking spot to call my own. good old spaces #1 and #2 =)
here's to... afternoon naps*late night boba runs*analysis of dawson's creek*passions in the afternoon*apt basketball*high speed internet*weakest link*the daily routine (coming in, taking off shoes, putting stuff on desk, using the bathroom, crashing on the bed)*fun boys to bitch boys*printing schedules for the vp's*spring break planning*talking till 5 in the morning*timely farts*sleeping with a lawn mower*having the apt to myself*fun crew quality time*quality family time*LPCing it*speaking Mayrinese*3 flights of stairs*opening cotton fruit*washing cars*composing destiny's child road trip song*grad banquet meetings*reliving our teenage years with fresh prince and saved by the bell*bitching about school work*mayrin's tan and tatt*wall o' philip*mommy, daddy, big sis, and baby*messing with AIM*jumping on the bed*waking up neighbors*fire alarms while dying hair*and smiling just becuase i'm with you guys*
it still never ceases to amaze me that in such a short period of time people can get so close to each other... when friends can read you to the point where they know what you're going to do even before you do it that's something special... and maybe it's because we spend so much damn time together, but to be honest I never get tried of coming home... although at times i feel that i shouldn't go or that i'm not in the mood...but once i'm there it tears me apart to leave...
okie okie, i think i've saturated you all with enough romantizism of Mayrin and Steph's apartment... just wanted to conclude this by saying it's not so much the place that made it special but the people in it... =) next time i'll be reporting to you all from LA!
Friday, June 15, 2001
And then there were none...
I'm done with finals! Woo hoo! I finished my last ochem exam ever yesterday morning at 8. It still hasn't hit me though that summer is upon me and i can finally relax, in fact when i went back to mayrin's for a nap i was still feeling a bit stressed. It's about 4 in the morning and i can't decide whether or not to sleep or just stay up for the hell of it.
my summer movie project is slowly coming back together... yeah i know, i was supposed to film itlast summer, but things just didn't work out and more or less there were scripting problems from the beginning. i was inspired by a short 2 minute movie i watched on asianamericanfilm.com... instead of a 30 minute piece i've decided to think small and do a shorter 5 minute movie on mah-jongg which has consumed as much of my life as fun crew has. hopefully when i return from LA i'll have a script and storyboard drawn up. definitely some very exciting things to look forward to in the summer. in addition to the myriad of summer movies to hit the screens this summer you all can look forward to my short film that'll be posted on the web at least before school gets back. =)
I'm done with finals! Woo hoo! I finished my last ochem exam ever yesterday morning at 8. It still hasn't hit me though that summer is upon me and i can finally relax, in fact when i went back to mayrin's for a nap i was still feeling a bit stressed. It's about 4 in the morning and i can't decide whether or not to sleep or just stay up for the hell of it.
my summer movie project is slowly coming back together... yeah i know, i was supposed to film itlast summer, but things just didn't work out and more or less there were scripting problems from the beginning. i was inspired by a short 2 minute movie i watched on asianamericanfilm.com... instead of a 30 minute piece i've decided to think small and do a shorter 5 minute movie on mah-jongg which has consumed as much of my life as fun crew has. hopefully when i return from LA i'll have a script and storyboard drawn up. definitely some very exciting things to look forward to in the summer. in addition to the myriad of summer movies to hit the screens this summer you all can look forward to my short film that'll be posted on the web at least before school gets back. =)
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